ron swanson tells my running story

29 Jul

I’m not going to lie… I’m damn proud of myself.

While on vacation, I ran every day but two.  I even ran the day I left for WA before my flight!  One of the days I didn’t run was because we had wedding set up but I was able to incorporate a 2.5 mile walk throughout the day.  Success.  The other day was my travel back to MI day (which took 17 hours by the way – I also used ALL forms of transportation.  A car, a ferry, a train and a plane.  I really love my family.)  Were the runs exceptional?  Nope.  In fact some of them were pretty rough but I did them and it was what I needed to start kicking my buns in gear.

ron recognizes my awesomeness

I wanted to do a longer run so I decided to run from my sister’s house to her work.  The trip was going to be about 6 miles and my original plan was to run back to her house after we had lunch.  I know, I am not sure how I worked running after eating in my brain and spoiler, running back didn’t happen.  Anyway, I set out.  I left about 11:30, which was later than I intended but still was enough time to meet my sister at 12:45 pm.  It was cooler temps, *75 so I didn’t think I needed to bring water.  Why do I do this?!  Have I not learned my lesson by now?  It’s freakin’ sunny and makes it even warmer.  Ugh.


Naturally, I got lost.  There was a trail that would have made this run very scenic, cooler and 6 miles.  It is also less complicated.  However, I somehow turned the trail into the old highway and followed that instead.  I kept taking wrong turns and stopping to ask drivers for directions.  Funny thing is, people drive kind of fast on old highways so getting people to stop was tougher than I considered.

The first car I got to stop was lost as well.  They offered me a ride but I declined.  A) they were lost too, so would this really help?  B) if they were kidnappers, I don’t think I could fend off 3 people.  The next car that stopped was an older gentleman.  He also offered me a ride, along with accurrate directions and I declined that offer as well.

I continued to run.  I flagged down another truck after a while because it didn’t seem like I was going in the right direction.  Oh and get this, I had written the directions down to my sister’s office on a post it AND WAS CARRYING IT!  You know what?  This doesn’t help when you aren’t on the correct street to begin with.  Anyway, guy in truck barely slowed down so apprantely I look like a serial killer and he just yelled directions to me.

my serial killer smile?

By this time, I was frustrated, tired, hot and crazy thirsty.  I was also running out of time.  I ran another mile and half and finally came to a plant nursery that I thought I could call my sister from to come pick me up.  A woman in an expensive car (this will come into play) stopped and I asked her for directions.  She said, “do you want a ride?”.  I accepted.  I realize this isn’t proper runner protocol.  Heck, I realize accepting rides from strangers isn’t any type of proper protocol but I was done.  She was very nice and drove me my sister’s dental office… except it was the wrong one.  I felt bad so I went into the wrong one and asked to call their competion (my sister’s) and they kindly took pity on me.  They also gave me some water.  The expensive car part?  Well, I left that leather seat SWEATY!  I felt so bad so I tried to slide my butt across the seat to kind of mop it up.  Nope.  Didn’t really help.  Sorry nice lady!

did this work to distract your attention? I did the same thing to nice lady but I don’t remember what I said… maybe I just held some intense eye contact… great… now I’m the creeper…

My sister really enjoyed this story, as did my neice.  As has everyone else I’ve told it to.  Hope you did too.  All in all, I got 7 miles in that day.  I called it a win.  I also ate a super tasty sandwhich on the beach with my niece and sister and this compeltely overruled the option of running back.  Seriously, when are they going to invent a device to implant into my brain that will make sure I go in the right direction?  I get lost.all.the.time.

To conclude this post, I ran while on vacation.  I am fabulous.

juicing – all done!

27 Jul

My last post was a bit depressing – considering it was about depression, I’d say I nailed it?  There is more on this topic I want to discuss but a lot has happened between then and now so I will jump back into it soon.

I finished the 28 day juice cleanse the Saturday before I left for vacation/WA.  My original plan was to finish a week before I left but it took a few days to get it up and running so I was nervous about being done on Saturday and taking off on Monday.

so yes, this thought did cross my mind… it’s VACATION after all…

Let’s get right to it… the 28 day juice cleanse was a very interesting experience.  It’s a roller coaster of a time which I simply didn’t expect.  I will say, I will never do a 28 day cleanse again.  Definitely a shorter one – as I know it did my body good, but 28 days was simply too long for my body.  Office mate really thrived on this and in fact has started another 28 day rotation.  It’s important to recognize what works for your body.

I lost 11lbs.  I think I would have lost more but I didn’t have a whole lot of energy to work out.  I should’ve just gone for walks but in my brain it seemed that either I would run or I would sit on my couch.  I don’t always see the middle ground.  Speaking of running, I do not recommend doing a juice cleanse during marathon training.  This was a poor timing decision on my part.  I really did not have the energy to do any distance and I didn’t see that it was related to lack of foods rather lack of fitness on my part so I felt discouraged.

I know all of the fruits and veggies were a mega boost to my system.  I noticed benefits to fueling my body with said nutrients.  In fact, now that I’m two weeks out and haven’t been juicing at all, I can feel my NEED to merge aspects of the juice lifestyle with a food lifestyle.  Does this make sense?  It’s hard to explain but I just don’t eat enough fruits and veggies as part of my regular diet.  It’s a major hole and I’m never quite sure how to fix this.

So, I’m bringing some juicing back!  I’ve picked my favorite and will have one of these a day for the next few days to see if I can feel a difference.  I know part of my lethargic feeling is the whole vacation eating – I mean seriously, how am I supposed to deny yummy burgers at a family BBQ?  Or your dad’s wedding cake? Your grandma’s lemon cake?!  Nope, not going to happen.  I had a mini freak out the Saturday of the wedding as I could feel the bloat and my niece talked me down with encouraging words.  She is a gem.

I’ll have the juice for lunch.  I recently read an article on Active.com with regards to dieting and running.  It recommended NOT dieting when training for a race and I couldn’t agree more.  However, it also talked about eating less processed foods and keeping it balanced.  This is my focus.

Ron captures my feelings on the juice cleanse!

Overall, I’m glad I finished the cleanse.  I didn’t believe I could stick with it and I proved to myself I could accomplish hard things that were out of my element.  The last two days of the cleanse were a bit dicey since I had to eat one or two meals for work-related events but such is life.  I didn’t expect feeling so emotional during this process!  It was also kind of isolating.  So much of our lives revolves around food!  And the silly part I hated was going to the grocery store so much.  For me personally, I had a lot of headaches – I mean, one practically everyday.  This is the primary reason I won’t do this length of a cleanse again.  BUT I readjusted my portion sizes!  I readjusted my sugar cravings and sugar intake!  Can you see how back and forth I feel about this experience?!

I’ll refer to this again in future posts I’m sure and I would be happy to answer any questions.  I’m really proud of myself!

resiliency

13 Jul

I’ve read articles that a quality of mentally strong individuals is resiliency.  To be able to look hardships in the face and move beyond them.  Bounce back if you will…

Resiliency is a tough quality to employ when you suffer from depression.  Remember in the early days of cartoons, the coyote would try to light a fuse on fire to release the anvil that would fall on the head of the road runner at just the right moment?  Then the fuse would die out and the coyote would run back and relight it.  This may have happened one or two more times until finally the fuse would catch rather suddenly and BOOM right in the coyote’s face!

This is as good of a description as any when it comes to trying to embody resiliency with depression.  I’m not saying I’m always living on the edge of a deep depression but it’s there.  It’s a slippery slope and I’m very aware of this.  Recently, there have been several bumps in the road and it is definitely testing me.  Like the stupid coyote, when each thing happens, it lights the fuse.  At this point, I’m working hard to NOT allow the big BOOM to happen and get sucked down into the dark side.

 Oh, hello. I'm depression. You were probably expecting me. (Sandra Ranja illustration.)


Oh, hello. I’m depression. You were probably expecting me. (Sandra Ranja illustration.)

I will absolutely admit, last year’s major bout of depression was one of the worst I’ve every experienced.  I don’t feel it’s on that level again.  Instead I feel on the brink of, “wow, my life sucks right now and I don’t see how it can get better”.  Part of the issue is that the hits are coming from all aspects of my life.  There isn’t any one area where I can feel confident and hang my hat on, “well at least this is going well”.

Most of the mini-crises  are happening on the personal realm, however, running is also being affected.  Is it the end of the world?  Of course not.  Do I know I can get better?  I’m almost positive I can.  But it’s annoying and frustrating so it adds to the chipping away of my resiliency.

Recently, I read two things I liked.  The first one is a buzzfeed list of what it’s like to have depression:

The next one is a meme I saw:

01ce92aad8f0dcc4415e5bbd09e475e2What I’ve decided is to go ahead and wallow in the craptastic life happenings right now.  I’m just going to accept it.  Oh and I’m going to lower my expectations.  I am going to give doing one thing different every day (or as close to this as possible) a shot.  And like George Costanza, I’m going to go against my instincts when it comes time to make decisions.  I don’t believe this is going to make things any better but maybe it will make things less difficult?  Or more interesting?

Let it be known, this post isn’t intended to garner any, “you’re great!” comments.  As I’ve mentioned before, I think it’s important for me to get more comfortable with talking about my depression.  I worked so hard for so long to ignore it and this certainly made things worse.

What do you do when you are faced with several hard knocks at once?

How do you boost your resiliency?

amazing boob slings

9 Jul

Last week a co-worker told me Lane Bryant was having a rockin’ sale on bras.  Buy two and you get two free.  I’ve never shopped at Lane Bryant but my co-worker said the band size starts at 36 so a win for me.

the current state of my favorite bras

Here’s the thing, in my previous experience, when purchasing bras for larger breasties, they were not so cute.  Black, white and beige are typically the colors of choice and even those aren’t too fancy.  I’ve also been trying to buy some at Target but so far my luck has been sub par.  I headed out to Victoria Secret a few months  back and while I found some cute ones the support piece was a little iffy.  Oh and there was quite a bit of spill-over, which at times made me feel harlet-esque.

that was money down the drain

On Saturday night I checked out the website and was pleasantly surprised by the selection – they were pretty!  I ran out there on Sunday with my ATM card in hand.  I was ready.  Once there I started loading up on a variety of over the shoulder boulder holders.  I wasn’t exactly sure what size I would be so I grabbed a large number.  I asked for a dressing room and the lady there noticed.  “When was the last time you were sized?”  Me: “umm…”  She jumped right on it and fitted I was.

Have you ever noticed how you are different sizes in different stores?  I find this very annoying.  I mean they are mathematical measurements!  Or maybe it’s just that each store’s product fits differently?  Man, this is so frustrating.  Anyway, she helped me pick some out and then explained that different styles maybe need different sizes.  Okay…  I went in not feeling very optimistic.  I tried the first on and the first words out of my mouth were:

MY BOOBS LOOK FANTASTIC!

Yes, I did yell this rather loudly.  I’m not exaggerating – who knew the whole “lift and separate” was the real deal?  The salesperson came in and agreed with me.  She helped with some minor tweaks but other than I stumbled upon brassiere GOLD.

I tried on a few other styles and found three that worked really well for me.  Funny side note, two of the three were the same size and the third fit well but had to be a cup size smaller – shenanigans friends.  Just goes to show how important it is to try on each one you are thinking about buying.

So the moral of the story?  When purchasing your under lovelies, set aside some quality time to spend at the store and even change up the stores.  I was there for a little while and tried on quite a few items.  Try on different styles – don’t just try on one and think that same size will fit in all styles.  Stand in the dressing room and admire your perky bosom in all of its glory.  Take notice how the when you put your old fun bag contraption on that the new ones definitely give your knockers some SPUNK!  Lastly, the next day when I wore said new torture device boob sling, I couldn’t believe how different I felt.  My posture was better.  I felt more confident.  I looked thinner.  I felt more supported.  There wasn’t massive amounts of embarrassing jiggling.  So freakin’ worth it.

run camp – week 2

6 Jul

Happy 4th everyone!  I hope you all had a great weekend.

Suffice to say, after my first day of run camp last week I wasn’t sure I was going back.  Sure, I laid down $120 smackers for it but it was so HARD.  Ugh.  Swimming through humidity and trying not to be an utter failure certainly takes a lot of energy.  Then there was the whole running part…

Nevertheless, I got a text the night before from one of my supporters to have a good run in the morning.  This meant, I HAD to get out of the bed and go for it – despite feeling intimidated by the group and nervous about the 8 miles.  Waking up wasn’t as horrendous as it was the week before and when I walked out the door it was 58*.  It was already a better start to the week.

When I got to the meeting point (10 mins early – clone Amy strikes again!) I told my team leaders I had gone out too fast last week and I brought my garmin with me to better track my pace.  I let them know not to worry when I fell behind.  One of the team leaders said they were going to keep it at 11:30-12 since last week we were doing 10:45 min miles, which was too fast.  Thank goodness…

With the cooler temps and slower/accurate paces, I felt much better all around.  I met a woman who has a ton of spunk and chatted with me for the whole four miles out and 1/2 the way back.  The course was very hilly and I questioned my ability to handle the way back.  I shook the doubt though and kept powering through.  The first four miles were all 11:50.  On the way back it was fairly close to this I think, although I had to walk two or three times and had to flat out pause at one point.  Still better than I thought I would do and I had two different mantras in my brain:  “I am good enough” (to be running with this crew) and “Detroit 26″.  Both really helped out with my motivation and determination.

Rewind a bit to Friday morning, I set out for 5 miles and could not slog through it.  I ran a bit of it but really I walked it.  Of course this made me dread the following day’s 8 miles even more – especially since I could only suffer through 4 miles!  Thankfully, I read a brief article the night before on juice cleanses and the recommended work out routine is walking.  It dawned on me that I just didn’t have enough fuel in the tank to give me enough energy.  Since it was the 4th and all, I had dinner with friends (and ate food!)  and I definitely feel this contributed to me having a more solid long run on Saturday.

I *might* be trying to convince myself I’m not as out of running shape as I really am!

Jason Vale talks about how he has trained for a few marathons while juicing and while I lamented about how I couldn’t do it but Jason could, office mate pointed out Jason Vale has been doing this for a long time.  His body might just be better at processing the nutrients and using them for longer and more intense work outs.  This made me feel better and also made me realize that doing a 28 day juice cleanse while beginning marathon training wasn’t one of my brighter ideas.

All in all, now feeling much more self-assured about this run camp experiment has also made it more enjoyable.  Next week we make the rather large jump to 11 miles – yeah, not sure why and I’m still considering knocking it down to 10 miles.  Turns out I’m so much better about being assertive as to what my body needs than I ever realized.  On the flip side, I must keep in mind I am more capable than I give myself credit for.

Enjoy your Sunday!

red pill or the blue pill?

3 Jul

These came in the mail today!

yay! new compression sleeves!

yay! new compression sleeves!

I took advantage of their 1/2 off sale and grabbed the two sets of calf sleeves I’ve been ogling for the last year and half.  Now I can sport my Irish roots AND rock some polka dots.  I LOVE me some polka dots.

For some reason, summer encourages me to spend money.  I don’t know why.  I realized this the other day when I not only purchased the above but also super cute red stripped new Sketchers.  I’m kind of obsessed with Sketchers (I think these are really cute too!) at the moment because I can wear them for work and they are comfortable and supportive.  The other day I wore heels for the first time in MONTHS.  While darling, I realized why I haven’t worn them in so long.  Supportive and comfy shoes certainly have their perks, even if they don’t uplift my buns in quite the same fashion!

Alas, now it’s time to put the kabash on the summer spending.  It was fun while it lasted…  This morning I woke up in a panic.  I couldn’t believe I missed a race.  It’s the Firecracker 5 miler (more on this later) and it’s such a fun race.  I was so disappointed in myself.

Then I realized, “hey!  It’s not the 4th of July yet!  That’s tomorrow!  You didn’t miss it!”  I also realized I had to be at work in less than an hour and the dimmer switch was hit on said excitement.  By the way – NO ONE is at work the day before the 4th of July.

Today is some serious prime running weather and I am determined to get my buns out there.  I’ve been so freakin’ lazy lately.  I don’t know why!  My procrastination is in high gear for no reason.  It hit me that yesterday was my last possible “lazy day”.  Otherwise, I am going to be in so much pain.  Remember when I spoke of the aggressive marathon training schedule a.k.a. run camp?  This might be part of why I’m procrastinating – I don’t feel like I can get any better and just want to put this training off so I don’t have to face failure.

Brilliant plan, no?

Ho-hum… I did join Jess’s summer challenge running plan so maybe this will offer a bit of inspiration, too?  This morning, I kept thinking, “I used to be SO motivated.  I used to just get out there or get up and JUST DO IT!  Where did all of that go?!”  I’m still not sure where it went but I’m guessing it’s largely habitual.  Maybe my earlier athletic self was all a facade… I took the blue pill and then somewhere along the line I decided the red pill was more me.

oh morphius, which one is the MOTIVATED pill?

In order not to end this on a really whiny note, here is a picture of my super fat and adorable cat, Simon

GIANT cat

GIANT cat

 

a juicy meltdown

1 Jul

I had a post all written for yesterday that included talking about how I often have “delayed long run hunger”.  This is just what it sounds like – I’m typically not terribly hungry the day after a longer run but the day after that?  Oh baby!  I am one starvin’ marvin.  So, yeah, that post is hanging out in my drafts.

Why?  Because yesterday  I felt ill.  I had a dizzy spell in the morning and forgot that these can make me feel really nauseous.  I went into work and hung in there until noon and then I went home.  I was donezo.  Now, as I was laying on my couch, I need to be honest, I didn’t want ANY MORE DAMN JUICE.  Seriously.  I was over it.

What did I want?  I don’t even know.  Actually, when I was feeling really sick I wanted some eggs and toast.  That sounded the best.  Instead. I made a juice and it wasn’t bad but it didn’t squash (ha! a food pun for the win!) the feeling that I wanted to eat.  I wasn’t hungry.  Nope… simply feeling very emotional.

One of the blog posts I read about a woman juicing said she had a day when it all seemed like too much.  When I read it, I thought this was silly and couldn’t imagine a time when I would be crying because of the cleanse.  It didn’t make any sense to me.  But I am here to tell you folks, it’s true.  I desperately wanted to comfort feed these emotions because in my mind, whatever food was calling to me (Chipotle if you are wondering) would CERTAINLY make me feel better!  Or maybe even pizza?  What about a sandwich or some fries?

See where I am going with this?  I needed an intervention, stat.  I texted office mate and asked him to assure me that siren’s call to emotionally eat were all lies.  He obliged:

textThankfully this helped calm me from the crap-eating ledge.  I know it sounds silly and now I am making light of it a bit but it was real.  I was crying.  I was also immersed in movies surrounding the theme of “hey we are in our 30’s and our lives are f-ed up!” – not my best choice.  When I talked with office mate today he said it’s all part of it and that he went through it some time in the middle as well.  Again… reassuring that I’m not a lunatic and a juicing meltdown is totally normal.

thanks honey boo boo

The other negative part was I decided to weigh myself yesterday.  I wore a dress earlier in the day and someone took a picture.  I didn’t quite look as svelte as I originally thought – surely the scale won’t lie?!  Well, that was a mistake.  The weight loss wasn’t any different from the first week.  “Why am I even doing this?!” ran rampant through my mind, also fueling the meltdown.  It’s suggested not to weigh in because the weight is going to fluctuate so much.  Sure enough, this morning I was three pounds lighter than I was yesterday.

So, I am still juicing.  It was a close call.  I think the third week is like mile 18 or 20 of a marathon.  Or mile 7 or 8 of a half.  I feel I am so close to finishing but it is going to take so much more  freakin’ effort to get there.  I told myself, “you only have one more Monday after this,” it helped.  Onward juicing soldiers…

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