26.2 minutes

16 Oct

You know, it’s incredible how life can poke you in the eye when you don’t expect it.  To be fair, I kind of expected it but was living on prayer that I could avoid the whole “change of plans” kind of thing.

I can’t run the marathon this weekend.

It seems real now that I’ve posted it on here and facebook (when did virtual become reality?!).  I went to the doctor yesterday because Monday night turned ugly quite quickly.  My stomach went all apocalypse on me and if I wasn’t so lazy, I would have rushed my hurting self to the ER.  Did you know, stomachs aren’t supposed to feel like Hulk Hogan is twisting your insides all up?

After not falling asleep until 4:30 am and then waking every time I moved (or took a breath) I didn’t make it into work.  I called my doc and secured an appt for yesterday.  I went in and essentially I told my story and was then referred to a GI specialist.  I need to get the scope-down-the-throat-test to take all the pretty pictures of my insides.  I wonder if they will let me keep one… wouldn’t this just look lovely hanging on my walls?  Conversation piece for sure.

it’s quite possible at this point

I asked the doc, “so, I have this marathon on Sunday – can I still run it?”  I hadn’t even finished my sentence before she was shaking her head no and giving me a grim smile.  Her response, “I think you already know the answer to this”.  I did but was hoping beyond hope there was a magical pill that would keep me in the upright position for the duration of the run.

All of this took place in 26.2 minutes.  Or close to it – I’m not even joking.  I might be a couple of minutes off but that doesn’t have the same dramatic effect so please bear with me.

A fellow marathon friend asked me if I was going to listen to them or if I was going to run it anyway.  Trust me, I did and have considered it.  What about the half?  Why should my stomach get to make all of my decisions for me?  Don’t we live in a democracy?  But I’m not going to.  I don’t want to end up being the poster child who was carried off in an ambulance that non-runners can tout as the reason people shouldn’t run long distances.  Plus, it would be embarrassing and everyone would mumble, “why was she so stupid?”  Because that’s exactly what it would be – stupid.  I’ve spent many a day putting my health on the back burner in hopes the troubles would just go away and now here I am.  A bit of poetic justice?  Not to mention, my ankle is still bothering me and a stress fracture I do not want.

Ultimately, I have extremely mixed feelings about this.  I’m relieved because during the 1/2 a couple of weeks ago, my stomach HURT SO BADLY.  I barely made it through the 13.1 and doubling that distance would have been challenging.  The other part of me is completely disheartened.  I am so tired of feeling sickly and I’m distraught that it’s now taking away something I enjoy.  I’m trying to start to look at it as an opprotunity to get healthy so I can be a comeback kid.  I’m going to wallow this weekend though.  And sign up for a 5k – she didn’t say anything about short distances!

The doc also suggested I give up or at least cut down on coffee.  Ummm – dashing my marathon plans and cutting coffee in one appt?  Why doesn’t she just rip out my soul?  I have a pinterest board titled, “coffee is a lifestyle”!

Needless to say, I won’t be cutting it out but I have started using tummy-friendly roasts.  And I’m making sure to stick with the one a day (20 oz).

So there you go.  No more Detroit.  I’m not signing up for any longer races for a while.  Health has to come first at some point, I guess.

marathon week has begun

14 Oct

*All cartoons are from Hyperbole and a Half.  I adore this blog.  And have cried from laughing so hard.

Yesterday.  Not the best of days…

I woke up late.  Actually, the first time I woke up, I was sittin’ pretty to run out to get my favorite coffee drink.  Then I hit snooze about 1/2 a dozen times & not only did coffee go out the window but so did being on time.

Not my favorite way to start marathon week.  Furthermore, I felt really crummy, my shower won’t drain, my anxiety was barking & I felt all kinds of out of sorts.  Really, I recognize these are all non-critical happenings and I wish I could throw up my hands with an “oh well” but my emotional investment is high *surprise*.

Part of the anxiety is marathon related.  Sunday is rapidly approaching & while I’m excited, I also have a real understanding of the pain I will be inflicting on my body.  That I PAID to inflict (hmm… unsightly visions of S&M popped in my head).  I’m also under no illusions that suddenly the running gods will bestow some great power to my legs.  Nope.  The strange runner in me is excited though.  I’m looking forward to the expo, the camaraderie of the other runners & other whole, “I’m never going to finish-I hate running-am I insane?” feeling that immediately evaporates with a medal around my neck.  So many emotions!

I will say, I had a dandy run on Saturday.  Considering the curious case of my non-compliant ankle, I’ve taken to running every other day to give it a bit of a rest.  I also went down & traded a pair of shoes in for a pair of Brooks PureFlow. Moment of digression: I bought a pair of PureFlows back when they first came out.  Loved them.  I bought them too small however, so they retired a bit early.  Fast forward through a gazillion different pairs of shoes later & I went back to them.  Saturday night PureFlows, the treadmill & I had a date & it went swimmingly.  6 miles.  I was certain I had only gone 4 then looked & magically I had already hit 5.  Then SIX!So this run helped.  I have a few more planned for this week-nothing over 5 miles.  I’m hesitant to refer to this as “tapering” since my overall training has sucked.  I’ll just call it my last ditch effort to avoid crumbling into a pile of mushy goo at mile 16.  I’m keeping my expectations low and working toward a more upbeat attitude (isn’t this obvious??).  This is a big marathon-I get to cross into Canada over an amazing bridge & run through a bunch of different parts of Detroit.  I feel a certain pride for (With? In?) Detroit despite being a relatively new Michigander.  It does have a number of issues BUT I’m pleased to be part of an event that celebrates the city rather than tearing it down.

Maybe there’s a bit of sunshine in me yet.

Ok, I have more on my mind but that’s it for now.  Lots of marathon talk this week-so please prepare yourself!  Oh, I did use my lunch hour to secure some delicious coffee.  I could sort of keep my eyes open for a few more hours.

this is how I felt all day

park to park 1/2 – this race is cursed.

12 Oct

Last year this race brought this happen stance:

the place of "the incident"

the place of “the incident”

My car key was the only thing that survived.  My handheld, fuel – all went down the toilet – literally.  As I mentioned last year, my scream sent dogs running.  I wanted to have some good memories of this race so I headed back to Holland, MI for another go-around.

I should have stayed in bed.

On Friday, I was telling office mate about my race.  He asked when it was and I confidently announced, “Sunday”.  He asked the time and I figured it was 7 or 8 am (standard start times) and proceeded to look it up.  Strike 1.  The race was on Saturday.  I started laughing, it was a bit maniacal, I admit.  How could this be?  Thank goodness I checked.

I set everything out on Friday night; typically I just wing it in the morning so I was proud of myself.  I woke up on time, 5:15 am and before falling asleep I decided I wanted to KT tape my arch, which has been nagging me.  I did so, although I couldn’t seem to get the tape just such.  Nevermind, I got into the car and hit the road.

I got there with a little over 45 minutes to spare.  I would have been there earlier but construction had me a bit turned around.  On my way to packet pick up, I spotted a real live bathroom that I missed last year!  I was overjoyed!  I utilized the flushable facilities and went to figure out my bib number.  It wasn’t there.  Strike 2.  Turns out I wasn’t registered or they didn’t have my name.  I didn’t have a confirmation with me (seriously, I am not that organized) so I rushed to fork over $60 and high tailed it back to my car for my running gear.

In the car, I decided the KT tape was bugging me too much.  I didn’t take it all off, just one of the stability pieces.  Foreshadowing everyone.  I got to the start line, and off we went.  I hadn’t even run .3 of a mile before my stomach was making whale sounds.  Truth is, it had been jumpy prior to the start line but I figured it was nerves.  Strike 3.

I’m not kidding – I even tried talking all sweet like to my poor tummy.

I should have stayed in bed.

I’m conflicted on the outcome of this race.  Some parts went fairly well while other parts are staying with me – and not in a good way.  Here we are:

Good: I nailed my fueling.  Honey Stinger chews are fantastic.

Bad:  My stomach jumped around the whole race.  I wanted to curl up on the road side for a few hours.  Bad stomach cramps, nausea, heartburn – there was no lovin’ in my tummy.  No pit stops but I used a lot of grit to stay on the course.

Good:  My pace isn’t really fast.  But it was steady.  I picked up some SportLegs and tried it for the first time on Saturday.  This stuff is legit – it definitely helped with leg fatigue.

Bad:  My ankle started barking somewhere in those miles.  I don’t remember which one.  Maybe from the ill-fated KT tape job?

Good: I woke up on time, made it to register, used a REAL toilet and managed to keep my panic out of the red zone despite the race hiccups.

Good: I finished!  Considering I’ve done nothing but falter this entire training season, this was my # 1 goal (remember when # meant a number?  the good ol’ days).  I really wanted to enjoy the run and let go of any unrealistic expectations that my body wasn’t able to fulfill.  Done and done.  And I survived this cursed race.

Good:  It was a decent confidence boost for the Detroit marathon.  True, I’ll have to do 13.1 mile MORE and this won’t be pleasant but I’ll cross the finish line.

I’m glad I did it.  Now, a couple of weeks out, I’m still happy about my decision, although my ankle is still filing grievances.  This will be a work in progress and I’m sure I’ll be limping across Detroit.  But I can do anything for 5 or 6 hours.  THEN a doctor can fix me!

park to park 14

I know, I’m a terrible patient.

brain dump

10 Oct

1.  I wrote yesterday’s post completely on my phone.  I’m not sure I will make it a regular thing but for the lazy girl inside it was nice not to have to break out my computer.  I did have to give it quite the edit once I opened it on my laptop though.

2.  Speaking of which, my friends teach college students.  They have students who typed an entire paper from their phone in the body of the email  (who does this?!).  I’m not even sure how they did it.  Don’t worry – they had to rewrite it.

3.  Surprisingly, I came home yesterday and wasn’t utterly exhausted.  This is a major change from how I usually feel.  I even woke up every two hours the night before!  I used whatever reservoir I had tapped into and went for a run.  Well, after I sat on the couch for a bit.

4.  I can’t stop eating blueberry bagels.  And peanut butter.  It’s one of the few things that actually sounds good right now.  Oh and yogurt but that’s essentially a given.

I know… my apologies

5.  With fall hitting and winter right around the corner, Simon is extra cuddly.  I love it.  He insists on sitting on my lap all the time.

cuddly simon

yes, he lays like this – strange bird, he is

6.  In the next two weeks I will have access to free PT injury assessments.  One is the 15th, which just happens to be before my marathon.  The next one is the 30th, just after.  Perfect timing!  Thankfully they are at different clinics so the 2nd one won’t know how dumb I was to run 26.2 on an injured ankle.  My dad isn’t quite sure about my thought process regarding marathoning injured.  I’m determined to run/finish it.  The money is a factor, so is the medal and then there is something else driving me that I can’t quite identify.

7.  I found an interesting mini diet plan on pinterest.  Please feel free to roll your eyes, especially after yesterday’s post.  I know it’s silly and I want to not want to do it.  But I’m going to.  Right after the marathon.  Trust me, there is actual food on this plan albeit a low calorie count.  I am finished with training after the 19th though, which completely justifies my absurdity.

unfortunately, bacon is not included.

8.  I saw this buzzfeed about anxiety this morning.  If you were ever wondering what it feels like, then take a gander.

9.  Speaking of which, I started having a panic attack on Tuesday.  I decided to try to ride it out.  About an hour later I was doing a bit better.  I am going to keep trying to push through them if possible before jumping to my “extra strength in the moment” anxiety meds.

10.  More t-rex humor… I’m obsessed

trex humorI guess my brain hasn’t been very active as of late.  To be honest, I’m getting focused/antsy about the impending marathon.  I can’t believe it’s here.  I’m both freaked out and happy it will be done soon.  Hey – good luck to anyone racing this weekend and to all of you Chicago runners!!  Wahoo!

hey bandwagon, wait for me!

9 Oct

I think it’s important to every once in a while be honest with yourself.  Some may suggest being this way all of the time but I enjoy denial way too much to drop that realm of illusion.  But I digress…

I want a fitness tracker.  I’ve been considering for a little while.  Initially, I couldn’t fathom spending a chunk of change on what I considered an overpriced pedometer.  When I realized there was a bit more to it, I was intrigued but still lacked motivation to research all of the options.

Alas, now when I see people with those wrist bands, I want to be part of the crowd.  So I dove head first into amazon to find what fitness tracker would be best.   There are many choices.  Many, many choices.  I was hovering on the buy button for the Runtastic Orbit tracker.  The big draw for me is the water-proof piece (even though I haven’t swam laps in ages).  I also want one with a sleep tracker so I can show the world just how LITTLE sleep I’m actually getting.  I feel like this could earn me a level (low-ranking of course) of heroic status for simply sort-functioning throughout the day.  I digress… Again

I read a few reviews & there seems to a couple of a bugs still being worked out with the Orbit.  They didn’t sound drastic & I still had it sitting in my shopping cart.  I decided to look into FitBit as I feel this is the granddaddy & has been around the block a few times.  The reviews are also solid on this device but it’s not water-proof.  Apparently there was another model that had similar features as the Orbit but it was recalled-this was before my bandwagon jumping.  They talk about the online community being uber supportive but this isn’t a deal breaker for me.  Still, those impending laps called to me.

I didn’t buy either.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very interested & know I will eventually cave.  My current level of fitness isn’t what I want it to be and I need to find some new ways to enjoy a good sweat.  Running isn’t off my Christmas list, however, I’m feeling burned out.  This is a post for another day.  There are so many neato ways to get the heart pumpin’ & I’ve been doing none of them.  I also think shame is a good motivator & when the little arm band thingy lets me know that walking back & forth from my couch to the kitchen & then the couch to the bathroom only takes 200 steps (I’m guessing this would be the total count FOR THE DAY!) maybe it will make me walk around the block or something.  Or maybe I’ll want to compete against myself – I don’t know, could be a lame idea.

this is part of the problem…

This isn’t my first ride on a bandwagon.  Others I’ve caught up with include:  Crossfit – great but didn’t like my local box.  Juicing-tasty but not enough food & tough to maintain.  I do think I’ll add some juicing back in – I just haven’t made it to the store.  Some wonky diet “vitamins” – yeah, just a bad idea.  Low-carb – the bagels cast their sweet siren song & I become a glutton for gluten.  I bought a treadmill since this would mean I would wake up every morn & crank out 5 miles before work.  A solid purchase actually but there haven’t been any morning 5 milers.  And of course the Hokas.  Oh big clunky shoes, how I wanted you to love me back… *sigh*

For the record, these are all since January 2014.  Haha, I’m such an ideas person & the follow through is a tricky minx that I haven’t been able to catch.

and by “you’re” I mean me

So there you go – the fitness tracker could be yet another attempt at finding the golden ticket to weight loss, good health & sustainable motivation.  Like I said, I’m sure I’ll be joining the ranks of the rubber-bracelet club but I read an online review somewhere that talked about how they felt pretty sure Fitbit would be rolling out a new tracker before the end of the year that would have the more capabilities.  Maybe this is the one for me?  I couldn’t make up my mind.  So I bought winter boots instead.

my brain is lost in translation

3 Oct

1.  Another brain dump Friday… I can’t believe I haven’t blogged for a week.  I need to kick this business into a more productive gear.

2.  For the last three days I was at a conference.  It was pretty decent and I had a good time with my coworkers.

3.  It was great to network with others in my field.  Even better it’s a regional conference so essentially, we are networking with our neighbors.  I’m lousy at networking in general and this has been a good way for me to practice at a smaller scale.

4.  They fed us.  A lot.  I’m here to say, it was so absolutely delicious!  I ate more than necessary and then there would be snack time.  I had a donut hole that was out of this world, a nice, juicy steak with a cream sauce and plenty of other delights.  Then all of their deserts were presented in fresh and fancy ways.  I dug it.

5.   Pool running.  I went.  I haven’t posted my race recap from last weekend but I hurt my ankle.  I decided to give it a go since it was stiff and I also was so stuffed with food, that I hoped it would burn it off a bit.  Now, I am not quite sure I did the pool running correctly.  I recognize this might sound silly but I feel like my mechanics were off.  Either way, I did 40 mins, was able to avoid the drunk guy who kept watching me (ew) and then had a relaxing soak in the hot tub.

6.  Through all of these food comas, early mornings, some late-ish nights and being gone, my brain is complete mush.  I was at lunch with my co-workers and suddenly I realized I was missing a meeting.  I jumped up exclaiming, “owheotuodjaos9idogioruoridjapo”.  Everyone just looked at me.  I’m certain, I meant to say something like, “I’m late for a meeting, gotta jet” but some garbly-gook came out instead.

7.  New rock tape.  yay!

8.  Here are the two videos I’ve used for taping my ankle.  I have an older owie-spot (I’m hesitant to write “injury” as I never went to the doctor.  It just hurts) that is on the top part of my ankle.  This is the one for that.  After searching the internet, I’ve deduced that I’ve aggravated my peroneal tendon.  I’ve used this video for taping instructions.  I found a blog article by Fitness Cheerleader that referenced it and described my symptoms, which was a big help.  I’ve yet to double up on both taping methods but that is probably what I will do this weekend as I am to embark on some longer runs.

9.  I’m a bit uncomfortable with my own self today.  I don’t like it.  My clothes aren’t fitting right, things are hurting and the couch feels like the only answer.  But joke is on me and my body because running is probably the only thing that will make me feel better.  (hmmm… perhaps the whole eating the world thing earlier this week was a bit of a mistake)

Okay, I’m done.

friday brain dump

26 Sep

I have no idea if this will be a regular thing but the following are all things swimming around my brain but don’t necessarily warrant their own posts.  Plus it feels nice to let it flow.
1.  For the last several days I have not been able to figure out what day it is.  Sunday morning, I woke up and started to get out of bed for work.  Then “YAY!” it’s Sunday and I went back to sleep.  Monday, I couldn’t figure out why I was waking up since clearly it was a weekend and the same thing happened to me yesterday.  Somewhere my brain is all confused.

2.  I got the absolute last hotel room in Detroit for the Freepress marathon.  Alright, this *might* not be true but it’s pretty close.  In my infinite wisdom, I decided to wait until the last minute to book a place to stay.  I couldn’t find a hotel room for less than the black-market price for my kidney so I resorted to Airbnb.  I found one that didn’t look creepy and was right in the middle of the action – score!  It wasn’t cheap, $150 (I mean, it isn’t expensive but I would be sleeping on a futon, so the price is up there) but it was going to be easy.  I did think it was funny that I was paying some guy to stay in his basement… something sounded vaguely horror-film about this.  Apparently I got denied.  Office mate suggested I check out a site called “Couchsurfing.com”.  This was a bit too rustic-I-might-be-staying-with-a-serial-killer for me.  OH!  One guy on the Airbnb site is renting out his mini van as a “futuristic sleeping pod”.  Decided against this one too.

it’s like I’m asking to be kidnapped

3.  I had mashed potatoes and gravy for lunch the other day.  It was splendid.


4.  I feel better than I did last week.  I hooked myself up with some Nexeum and it seems to be helping.  Now, there is much less of the bloat and nausea.  Also, last week I was throwing pills down my throat like a hungry-hungry hippo goes for marbles.  My uterus throws a tantrum every month due to the lack of a fetus and Motrin 800s and other pain killers stay by my side.  I’m guessing the pills weren’t doing my fragile little tummy any favors.  I can feel the Nexeum wearing off in the evening but it gets me through the day.

this cracks me up

this cracks me up

5.  I went running the other night and didn’t wake up 5lbs lighter.  WTH?  Last week I was telling office mate about how people swallow tape worms to lose weight.  He was skeptical and asked me where individuals would get some a thing.  Ummm… the internets, friend.  He called my bluff and .2 seconds later, I was staring at a site selling live tape worm eggs.  I promise, I didn’t order them but I could not stop laughing at the guy who is/was selling them.  We googled him.  I am not sure he counts a reputable seller – come to think of it, someone selling parasites with the intended purpose of weight loss (or to “play a joke on your friends!”… horrible friends) probably doesn’t care about reputable.

office mate *may* have asked me this same questions

6.  My work calendar proved yesterday was going to be a beast.  It didn’t lie.

7.  More running last night.  Actually lots more running in my future.  See number one.  See the count down calendar to your right.  See my fear.

yeah… these 26.2 are going to hurt

8.  Yesterday morning I started choking – I think on some coffee grounds.  Some coughing at first.  Then some more.  Pretty soon, office mate was pushing cough drops at me and asking me what I needed.  One of my supervisees ran and got me some water.  Tears were streaming down my face and others in the office came in to see if I was ok.  I wasn’t.  I could not stop coughing.  After 15 mins it finally subsided a bit but man, it was rough!

9.  I have achieved some “beach waves” with my hair.  I am more excited about this than I should be.

10.  1/2 marathon this weekend!  More on this soon.

Happy weekend eve!

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