goodness gracious…

23 Apr

Good gravy-Tuesday was a doozy.  The air was thick with anxiety!  Unfortunately, not kidding.

The morning was kind of an odd frenzy of activity in the office that seemed to breed angst.  Per my MO, I soaked up all of the stress & anxiety like a sponge.  I thought I was going to vomit at one point since this is also part of my MO when it comes to being overwrought with nerves.

it’s even a dino puking a rainbow – big win! I’m working on being positive so this sort of counts

BUT!  After I calmed down a bit (leaving for lunch can help with this) I realized something.  A few months ago I felt like this EVERY FREAKIN’ DAY!  I can’t believe it.  I mean, I recognized that I felt less shaky/panicked on the inside but somehow I pushed aside how it felt physically.  So while yesterday morning was unpleasant, I am happy at the strides I have made.  Yes, chemicals are part of the equation but so are some behavior modification & more exercise.  This feels good.

The rest of the day was busy.  I had a doctor’s appointment at 2pm & I was really proud of myself, as I got there 15 mins before my appt time.  I got to the front & said my name & appt time.  The clerk:  “umm, your appt. was at 1:15″.  Nooo!

I apologized profusely, felt like a jerk & apologized again.  They took pity on me & still fit me in between other patients.  I was very grateful.  Oh & they were kind about the whole thing as well.

I was relieved to see the end of the day.  Some quality time on the couch was necessary along with some deep breathing and meditation.  I’m not so hot on the meditation piece but I’m practicing.  Also, letting go of the stress of the day – the animal section of pinterest is always helpful with this.

so much adorableness!  this is a big year for sloths - I wonder if they realize?!

so much adorableness! this is a big year for sloths – I wonder if they realize?

ridiculous running shoe journey

22 Apr

I’ve mentioned it a few times many times that I’m on a search for the PERFECT shoe.  I want the clouds to part and rays of sunshine to fall on my beautiful, perfect new-running-shoe-fitted-feet.  This is the ideal.  But I will settle for something super-duper fabulous.

these are the emotions I want to feel

During Dopey, I saw a number of hokas running past me.  Considering I recently went from a stability shoe to a neutral with loads of cushion, I figured this would the PERFECT shoe.  Not to mention, Sweaty Emily raves about them and she runs a billion miles.  Then Kara from It’s a Dog Lick Baby World got them and I think she is very neato so I wanted to be like her.

did I mention I did this?!

did I mention I did this?!

A chunk of change later and I was the proud owner of a pair of Hokas.  Let’s just put it out there that these puppies aren’t the cutest things ever and they make my feet look giant.  Nevertheless, I was willing to overlook these for a sweet ride.

I wasn’t disappointed – at least not for a while.  They initially felt very large and clunky.  I kind of wondered if they were too big?  I ordered a size down so I could see if this was it and these rubbed against the side of my feet – the right side worse than the left.  So, I kept the 8.5′s thinking these would be the right choice.

Sadly they are not my earth-shattering dream shoes I hoped for.  The blisters on both feet are just getting worse and running is uncomfortable/painful.  I think my right foot is wider as this one is more irritated.  I thought I could push through it and I will but I need to mix them up with shoes that fit me better.  My Brooks Glycerin’s are good but my current pair are DONEZO.  I looked on amazon and they didn’t have any in my size so I will look somewhere else.  Amazon did suggest some Asics Nimbus though.  I started out my running career with Asics and maybe it’s time to go back?

p.s. NEVER look up “blister” under images… trust me

Clearly, I am incredibly wishy-washy when it comes to shoes.  My “journey” is silly and *perhaps* my standards are just a bit high.  OR I need to stop falling into the trap of hearing/reading about what others are wearing and thinking these will make me run like them.  While I don’t really believe this will make it true, some part of me wonders if there is magic in shoes…  I also should have gone to Hogwarts for my undergrad but you know… the owl got lost.

There you have it.  My Asics are coming today and I need to find the Glycerin’s right quick-like (just in case the Asics don’t work).  I have a 25k on 5/10 and I need time to break in the new shoes.  Not to mention, running in the Hokas on back to back days is making my feet all hurty.  I will stock up on some moleskin because Hokas last for 700ish miles.  I’m probably the only person who is disappointed by this.  I do want to say, I like a lot about the hokas.  The cushion is great and it definitely helps encourage mid-foot striking.  They also have a mad love affair with my treadmill.  I can’t explain it but running in these on the ‘mill is so much easier than in other shoes for me.

Oh no!  Another angsty post – here, look at this funny t-rex – maybe it will help you forget about my whining!

man, I love a good t-rex meme!

man, I love a good t-rex meme!

 

some wkend oopsies

21 Apr

This weekend I made a few mistakes.  I shall detail them for you in hopes I can help you all avoid them in the future.  Also, I’ve included a couple of things I actually got right so I don’t sound so grumpy.

1.  Running – the oopsie:

A) Way overdressed-I was wearing long sleeves & capris.  It was about 65*.  Not a smart plan.

I bet they were as toasty as I was

B) I didn’t bring any water.  I didn’t exactly hydrate all that well during the day so this kicked me in the bum.  Speaking of lack of water, I also did a crummy job with fueling.  For some reason, I didn’t eat much prior to leaving & I was extremely hungry during the run.  By the way, I repeated the hydration mistake on Sunday too and I didn’t have to use the restroom for 10 hours.  Yeah, ridiculous, I deserve to have a crappy run.

C) You know, it would have helped if I had done some decent running during the week.  I have some excuses (of course) but really, I could’ve pushed through on some of those days and I didn’t.  Lame.

2.  Watching lots of teen angst tv – the oopsie

A)  I found a CW series on Netflix & it seriously had some drama.  But I couldn’t pull myself away.  AND there is only one season so I am going to end up disappointed!  Did that stop me?  Nope.  I haven’t quite finished the first season and I’m committed; however it fed into my feeling all emo.  Excellent – this is what I refer to as not the best life choice.

3.  Spending a holiday weekend alone – the oopsie

A)  Ok, so this isn’t an abnormal thing for me but it did make me feel kind of blue.  Needless to say, number 2 didn’t really help with this.

4.  Going to the store when feeling said blueness – the oopsie

A)  I spent $30 on incidentals.  It started with some coconut oil mousse & it blossomed from there.  Then there was this candle warmer thing that I convinced myself I should purchase since it was Easter & I needed a giftie.

What did I do well?  LAUNDRY!  Yay!  Good gravy, my laundry situation was ridiculous!  It really is such an amazing feeling of accomplishment to get it done.  I seem to forget this…  Please feel free to remind me!

Going to the grocery store!  Yes, this does contradict my previous statement but I had two prescriptions to pick up & I really wanted to put off going-like I had for the last two days.  I’m terrible about just getting it done despite it meaning I’m out of meds.  So again, an “I’m proud” moment.

Running. While Saturday’s run was fairly miserable, I did get up & do it.  There was about a mile in there that was enjoyable & so at least there is that.  Then I ran yesterday as well.  Eh…  I started out wearing my old shoes since my Hokas are giving me blisters (more in another post).  Within the first few steps I knew this was a giant mistake and went back to change.  Different shoes helped despite my blisters getting worse.  I am attempting to give myself props despite the runs being lackluster.  Oh!  I did follow some Runner”s World advice!  I read an article about hills and pace. They advised not trying to keep the same pace rather keep the same effort.  It’s difficult for sure but I could feel the difference.

I guess that’s it.  I allowed the feeling sorry for myself-sometimes I think it’s important to just feel the emotions rather than pushing them away.  I also indulged in an alcoholic beverage which may or may not have helped but whatever.  AND I picked out my outfit for this morning.  Not sure why this is noteworthy but I going with it.

With that, I will spare you any further time commitment to my angst.  I hope you had a lovely holiday wkend (if this is your thing) & the beautiful weather that seemed to descend over everyone. I’m CONVINCED we have seen the last if the snow-enjoy!

it’s much easier to sign up for races than run them

17 Apr

Every once in a while (read MOST of the time) I make things much more difficult than they really are.  I use every dish when I cook or bake.  I figure out how to make instructions vastly complicated.  And I tend to miss details so things seem harder as I only see the big picture.

With this in mind, I’m not surprised that I’ve been massively concerned about signing up for the Detroit Free Press marathon.

When I first checked the marathon registration, I saw you needed either your passport or an enhanced license.  My passport is expired & I don’t have any type of enhancement on the ol’drivers certificate.  Crazy enough, two years ago when I renewed said license, they told me it had been invalid for the 14 months.  Umm…  Excuse me?  Isn’t this information someone should have told me?!  Apparently not…

Anyway, I was stressing due to these lacks of identification.  I looked at the passport renewal process & it seemed like it was going to take too long so I went for the license update.  I finally got my buns to the DMV (or Secretary of State as its known in MI), yesterday.

yep…

Brief commentary: how is the DMV ALWAYS busy?  There are several branches in Kzoo.  Also, why are there ALWAYS strange people there?  Yesterday a man started yelling inside how we all needed to pick if we wanted to go to heaven or hell & that Jesus was the only way.  And no one really did anything – it’s like we expect it there.

Anyway, turns out you need a birth certificate or valid passport to get this type of license.  Not sure why I would want an enhanced license if I already had a passport but whatever.  I think DMV employees have to put up with enough abuse so I left without voicing my disappointment.  I decided to just use my expired passport and sign up.  The price increase is soon & I didn’t want to miss my shot at Detroit.

Wouldn’t you know it?  Your passport or enhanced license number ISN’T REQUIRED!  Haha, I’m such a goober.  I’ve been worried about this for nothing; clearly I didn’t read this part very well.  I signed up straight-away.  I am so excited – another full here I come!  I’ve heard such wonderful reviews of this race & it’s been on my list of “to-do” races.  I’ve lived here in MI for almost 11 years so I basically qualify as a Michigander.  So, I HAVE to do it!

source

(source) not my pic but I can’t wait to have my own!

I’ve found a few more races that are catching my fancy.  I haven’t signed on the dotted line just yet but they are bookmarked!  I talked to previous runners of said races & naturally they all garnered rave reviews.  I love how much easier it is and what a wonderful idea all of these races sound right now.  Then at 4 am (or earlier) when my alarm sounds come race day, I can’t figure out what I was thinking!  Oh… life as a runner!

uncle sam hearts tax day!

16 Apr

True to form, I did my taxes Monday…  I’ve nailed the art of procrastination of so many levels.

If yesterday is still sheds a shadow over your Wednesday or you just need a pick me up on a Wednesday, here is  some humor.  These are a few funnies that has made me laugh recently and wanted to share them.  Hope they do the same for you!  P.S. Uncles Sam says “thanks for filing!”  (Hmm… is it egotistical to speak for uncle sam?!)

pop up book of phobias

the horrors…

man, I love these!

man, I love these!

jurassic park

simon and I love Jurassic Park and this is very clever!

umm... this may have happened this weekend x2

umm… this may have happened this weekend x2

I tried explaining this to my co-worker and why I thought it was so funny.  lost in translation - I sounded like a crazy person

I tried explaining this to my co-worker and why I thought it was so funny. lost in translation – I sounded like a crazy person

bird and math

cracks me up!

cracks me up!

And what would this list be without a cat meme?!

haha, poor cat!

haha, poor cat!

Enjoy your Wednesday!

 

none of the sleep

14 Apr

I love this:

use the sleepThis last week my body and brain decided that sleep is for the weak and they were much to strong for it.  I tend to disagree but sometimes my body and brain go against my wishes.  Little brats!  The thing is, I really needed to get some sleep.  I was hosting a candidate and typically, candidates and employers like it when you can articulate the pros of your work place and answer questions.  Not to mention, this went on for five days and not catching z’s for this amount of time was taking a toll.

I’m not quite sure where this insomnia was coming from.  And I am not even sure if what I am experiencing even counts as insomnia.  Essentially, I would sort of doze but never fully be asleep.  Then I would have these weird surface-level dreams – the alarm going off every morning was so frustrating because I didn’t feel rested at all.

no sleepThursday, while hosting, there were times when I couldn’t even think of the right words I needed to say.  At the end of the evening (7:15 pm) I was pointing at some M&M’s that a student had and I couldn’t think of what they were called.  I ended up going to bed at 9:30 pm.  I was done.  Of course I woke up several times in the night – normal for me.  Since I like to find causes for things/ailments/happenings, I tried to pinpoint the culprit behind the lack of some REM cycles.  Here is what I came up with:

I get too hot when I sleep.  Waking up sweating kind of grosses me out and it’s been happening off and on since moving to my new apt.  In my old place, I lived several floors up so I could keep the windows open and had an efficient air conditioner.  Now I live on the ground floor and I need a new air unit.  I also think this lack of fresh air contributes to my ailing immune system.  I was sick this past weekend.  Again.

sooo hot!

Simon.  Okay, so I know this one is easier to fix because I could close the door on the little guy.  But I can’t – he paws at the door the whole night and he doesn’t really like this new apt.  Simon gets much more anxious and needs to be near me.  He then wakes me up typically around 4:30-5:30 am.  I do put him out of the bedroom and close the door at this time.  Simon’s body heat (approx 100* – this is normal!) also lends to me getting too toasty.

Bad dreams/nightmares.  I certainly don’t have night terrors and for that I am grateful.  However, I’ve had extremely vivid dreams since childhood and my epilepsy meds just increase these.  Unfortunately, these dreams aren’t rainbows and puppies.  They are fairly angsty and stressful.

Both my brother and mom had/have bouts of insomnia so maybe it’s genetic?  I think even if I only woke up once per night I would feel remarkably better.  I don’t foresee sleeping pills right now (seriously, I just can’t take more pills) so I’m looking for alternative methods.  On my list of things to try are a lighter blanket (duh Amy!), a new air unit (again, duh!), acupuncture, some massage to ease  stress, continued running, cutting some coffee out of my day (this is a double-edged sword since I start to droop in the afternoon) and a few other ideas I’ve found on pinterest.  And yes, attempting to go to bed earlier – maybe despite the punctuated sleep just being in bed longer might help?

Who knows…  Any suggestions for the sleep disturbed?  Last week was particularly bad but I always wake up at least 3-4 times a night.  Or is this normal?

need for speed

13 Apr

I still can’t believe I ran 10:15 minutes miles on Friday.  This is a minute and a half faster than what I was running the week before.  And no, I’m not juicing!

stay away from the juice honey boo boo!

I’m going to back up a little… as I mentioned, my calf has been really bugging me.  It has been super tight and definitely causing pain when I run.  During my run last Saturday, it was hurting so much I shifted my form to compensate.  Of course, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise!

I have no idea when or how it happened but I haven’t been picking up my feet when I run – at all.  I’ve  heavily depended on my calves for all of my running power.  It’s like I’ve just been shuffling.  Lately, when my training plan called for speed work, I just couldn’t imagine how I was going to get faster when my feet/legs couldn’t GO faster.  Then I (physically) realized the concept of turning my feet over faster and was amazed.

this was my reaction too

This realization along with actually using my quads/hamstrings to run culminated into some speed.  On Tuesday, I went for a run and I could tell I went faster than I had in FOR-E-VER.  Lately, my pace has been hovering around an average of 11:50, maybe 11:30 if I felt good.  Friday, I accidentally found a setting on my garmin where I can set the pace I want to hit and then it tells me when I am on pace or ahead/behind.  What a great feature!

not my image but when this popped up on the second hill, I *may* have called my garmin some nasty names…

I set it for 11:15 since this was going to be my first run with my garmin and using this form.  I knew I was running faster, my garmin told me so, but it didn’t say how much faster.  There were times when it said on pace and on one hill it said behind pace.  My first mile was 11:07 and I was surprised!  Two long hills dominate the first part of my route, so I was happy.  I did four miles total and my splits were 11:07, 10:15, 10:17 and 10:22.

I’m still in shock.  My legs were fatigued yesterday in that “whoa, I put in a good work out” kind of way.  My plan was to run a few miles but an upset tummy restricted any bouncy behavior.  But as I tweeted, my spirit is renewed!  I wasn’t sure I would see these speeds again, despite my running coach telling me it was possible.  It’s weird because I figured I could do it but I didn’t know how.  Nor did I really believe it.  Now I have hope and evidence!

There is a month to my 25k and a month and a half until my next half marathon.  One of the reasons my legs are as tired is because my quads are not as strong as they need to be – why would they?  I’ve barely been using them!  I don’t know what to expect from these next two races.  I have some goals naturally but I’m going to keep them at bay and focus on training.  OH!  And no calf pain on Friday’s run!

“It may not be fast and it may not be pretty but it’s going in the right direction”                         – Eric Simonson

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