mary friggin’ poppins… proceed with caution… whining ahead

I composed a large amount of this post on my run last night.  My anger run.  Are you familiar with such a thing?  Essentially, I had hate for everything and if anyone/thing made me mad in the previous 24 hours I was angry all over again.  This is super healthy.

But running is a damn good way of dealing with it.  Especially since I originally attempted to deal with it by eating two handfuls of Trader Joe’s deliciousness and it just didn’t work.  Pity, since eating these was a lot more fun then hauling my ass around in the heat.

they have a golden wrapper because they are so amazing and only gold is strong enough to contain them

Anyway, here are my list of gripes:

1.  My boobs and bum are a size bigger than they used to be… there is a whole lot of jiggling and bouncing going on and it’s embarrassing.  It makes me very self-conscious.

2.  I’m slow as molasses right now.  And huffing and puffing just to get through a few miles.  Boo.  I knew getting back in shape would be tough and clawing my way back from a mental “injury” is hard because there is nothing physically wrong with me.  So then I just turn on the internal angry monologue…

3.  I went on a date last week and it didn’t go as well as I had hoped.  Or rather there wasn’t that “spark”.  Then I felt badly because I knew I was comparing him to a couple of other guys I’ve dated and that isn’t fair.  But still… WHERE IS HE ALREADY?!

4.  I had some epilepsy issues last Friday.  I hate this.

I saw this yesterday and decided to embrace this philosophy

Sorry for the language but seriously, there is nothing I can do about the above except keep pushing forward.  My boobs and bum are only going to get smaller if I keep running.  Same thing with getting back in shape and getting faster.  As far as the dudes/dating world… well, I don’t have an answer for that one.  Apparently, I am going to end up alone with 10 cats who are going to eat my face off when I die in my apt and no one knows.  Maybe I should start collecting the cats now.

yep, this is how it will start

I did call my doctor after much prodding from my dear friends.  I was hoping it would just go away on its own (denial at it’s finest).  Turns out my doctor thinks it’s more related to my migraines so this is a plus.  I do have to stay on some old meds for a few more weeks (or possibly long-term) but if it means not having dizzy spells then I will adjust.

I told you there was whining ahead!  When I got back from the run I did feel better.  Maybe not completely soul-cleansing but I was a lot less hateful, which does everybody good – including me.  And I had an epiphany about how to arrange my apt in between feeling sorry for myself so there’s that, too.

Oh and then I got mad at Mary Poppins.  Because you know, this is completely normal.  Seriously though – I snap my fingers all the time and the mess stays put!  What happened to jumping back to its rightful place?!  And what about this spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down business?!  When I was transitioning these last two and half months, I stuffed myself with sugar and guess what?  It didn’t help!  Lies, Mary Friggin’ Poppins, LIES!

ADDED:  This afternoon I had a meeting and it was highly entertaining.  I laughed… a lot.  It helped with my stabbiness attitude, too!

yogurt is some serious business!

We need to talk about yogurt.  I currently have 4 kinds of yogurt in my fridge.  Excessive?  Absolutely!  Delicious?  Oh my, YES!

Here is my yogurt story…

Remember when I did that really silly “detox”?  I never wrote up my review of it because it was a ridiculous thing to do.  I regret it.  It was really bad for me (people kept asking me if I was okay because I was so out of it) and clearly, my body required more fuel to function.  Anyway, on the yogurt day I ran out to grab some and bought a store brand – Spartan, if anyone lives near a place that sells it.  Wow!  I was really impressed!  Calorie count is about average – 100 calories per cup.

hmmm – just a slight obsession

That’s not the notable part though.  It is grade A TASTY!  It’s very smooth and has great flavor.  My favorite is the Boston Creme Pie.  Yep, a match made in the heavens for this woman!

Next, I was trolling through Target before the cleanse disaster and came upon a Chobani flavor – vanilla with chocolate chunks.  It’s geared toward kids (or at least the packaging seems like it) but I’m a fan of chocolate and thought I would try it.  YUM!  I typically save it for some kind of dessert and put in a few more chocolate chips to up the ratio.  This is always a good decision.  And considering I get the munchies like mad in the evenings, this is a solid/filling solution for me.

Then last week I found it

I may have to personally lobby to have this on all the shelves in America!

You can’t hear it but there is a chorus of unicorns and babies singing for this yogurt.  Chobani again (no, they haven’t asked me to review – these opinions are based on the fact that I want you to try this business!) comes through.  This one is coconut yogurt and then a little cup of toasted almonds and dark chocolate chunks to mix in it.  All kidding aside, I am wild about these flavors.  I really appreciate the taste and actually it is decently filling.  I had one about an hour before a run – I had brunch earlier so this was sort of lunch, and I didn’t notice being hungry until mile 4.5.  I am mildly concerned because I found it on sale for a $1 at Target but haven’t found it at any other stores.  I am really hoping they aren’t phasing it out – I would be upset!  If they do, then maybe Chobani can just make a coconut flavored yogurt?

The other kind of yogurt isn’t really worth noting except to say it’s in there chillin’ (I know, a really horrible pun!).  I have a vanilla greek yogurt for baking purposes.  I definitely go through food obsessions, as I am sure you can tell, and yogurt is #1 on the list right now.

Onto running!

I know, you are probably surprised!  So in just a little under two weeks I have a 1/2 marathon.  The week after that I have a 25k.  Yesterday I realized the furthest I have consistently ran in the last  two months is 4.5 (ish) miles.  Remember how I swore I was going to make running my obsession?  Well, turns out when you are spending as much time as possible in giant sweats, it’s hard to develop an obsession that requires movement.  So Sunday I hit the pavement.

I played a mind game by first going to the track and doing two miles and then heading out to my normal 4 mile loop.  This was quite handy and I shall employ further mind games with myself in future training!  6 miles later two thoughts were loud and clear:

1.  Hmmm… I’m tired… and a bit sore

2.  Heck, if I can do 6, I can do 13!!!!

A runner friend and I were talking about how lackluster our training has been.  He is running the same race I am in two weeks and he picked his running back up on Saturday.  We commiserated about how dumb we are but then assured each other that we can totally do it. <—- false confidence is a cornerstone of our running!

The run was some good head-clearing time though.  First of all, it was an absolutely beautiful day outside – quintessential spring!  Second, a bit of a mid-mid life crisis hit me this weekend.  While those feelings haven’t gone away (and really aren’t anything new as of late), after I got out of my apartment, got some fresh air and a few endorphins those feelings felt more manageable.

Lastly, I got a card from dad in the mail yesterday.  I’m not going to go into a lot of sappy detail but it was an amazing boost!  Thanks Dad!!!

dopey vs. goofy

It came down to a battle… a battle royale if you will.

                                  VS

In the end, it really wasn’t that much of a fight.  I already had decided I was going to attempt the Goofy race at Disney World (doing the 1/2 marathon Sat and then the full on Sun) next year and then I didn’t get into the Chicago Marathon so I decided doing the Dopey (doing the 5k, 10k, 1/2 and then the full over 4 days) was a nice balm to soothe my hurt feelings – thanks a lot Chicago.  Not to mention, Dopey is PRICEY! so not getting into Chicago actually made it possible for me to afford it.  I still haven’t decided if I am going to check out any full marathons for fall but I am leaning towards sticking to shorter distances.  I do think some of my burnout this past year can be attributed to trying to do “all the races” instead of sticking to one and calling it good.  I will admit to getting sucked into posts on twitter, facebook and blogs that detailed their latest race.  I would read them and think of myself as a slacker for not signing up, too.  Ah well, live and learn.

So, the Dopey.  You might be wondering why I think I can possibly pull this off given my blog posts as of late.  Trust me, I thought about this too – could I really do it?  Did I have enough faith in myself to actually train consistently and well in advance?  Where would I find the motivation when so often I talk about how lackluster it is?  These are all quality questions and I did think these through.  Because I love a good bulleted list, here is what I have:

1.  I want some redemption on this race course.  While this primarily speaks to the marathon course, I would love to have some happier race memories from Disney World.  I figure if I race all of them, this is bound to happen.

2.  I’m placing a lot of faith and hope in these new meds.  While I haven’t been promised to feel like a new woman, I have been told I will feel BETTER than I have in the past year.  This bodes well for my motivation and overall attitude.

3.  Determination – I “haz” it.  Or at least remnants of it that currently need to be fed and nurtured a bit.

4.  A group of us are taking this plunge together.  We have all worked together at one time or another and realize this is going to be a painful experience.  But I think being in pain with friends is so much more fun then being in pain by yourself.

5.  Perhaps my biggest “let’s do this” moment was when I decided I wanted to use this as an opprotunity to raise money for Epilepsy Awareness.  Like I mentioned last week, I want to make something good come out of this recent hell experience and this seemed like a good idea.  I will be happy if I raise any amount of money.  I have some different ideas of ways to raise the funds and hopefully I will find support from friends, family and the blog community – whether that be in monetarily or simply a “Yay Amy!”.

this is a great initiative – check it out!

So there you go – this was my thought process as I filled out the entry form and committed my legs to this feat (ha! see what I did there?!).  I am absolutely nervous but recognize that individuals run 50 mile races in ONE DAY so I can certainly run 43.5 over the course of 4.  Oh yes, and if you have heard, there is a multitude of shirts and medals.  This certainly makes my heart sing.  Like anything with me, it always sounds like an amazing idea in the beginning and then it becomes real and I wonder what the hell I was thinking.  Essentially, I am planning for this to happen so at least I won’t be broadsided with these feelings.  Seriously, it’s an adventure right?!

choosing to be proactive with my health

I’m working on getting back on a regular schedule for posting.  I really miss this outlet as a creative venue and it helps to keep me motivated.  Not to mention, I very much want to start feeling “normal” again.  I realize there is no such thing as normal but I need to readjust my attitude.  Currently, I’ve been wrapped up in how crappy I feel both emotionally and physically.  While this won’t end for a couple of more weeks, it WILL end.  I can see it coming!  Two and half more weeks!  Almost single digit days!  Here are my thoughts on how to be more proactive with my health:

1.  Continue to work on my obsession:  running is a cure.  It has “cured” me before and it definitely provides helpful endorphins that keep the negative thoughts at bay.  Not to mention the doses of vitamin D the sunshine keeps providing.  Bless you Mother Nature!

2.  Friends and family:  I have been hesitant to reach out and tell them how I am honestly feeling.  Part of me feels ashamed I haven’t been able to hold strong during this time and simply deal with the side effects.  Another part of me feels constantly whiny.  Then there is there is the last part of me that doesn’t look sick.  Seriously, I AM being a trooper but there is no way to announce this without sounding like an idiot.  But as I’ve reached out more and more, the support helps immensely.  Admitting (whether in person or on this blog) that THIS IS HARD oddly makes me feel better.  My lack of a counseling degree keeps in me in the dark as to why but it does.

3.  Recognizing my limitations:  this one has been difficult because I feel Guilty.  I feel guilty when I have to cancel plans with friends (sorry Em!).  I feel guilty when I start crying on the phone to my dad.  I feel guilty when I call in sick to work – again.  I feel guilty… but as my smarty-pants friends reminded me, it’s okay to have limitations and know it’s part of the game right now.  Again, some validation – perhaps I am bit hooked on it?!

4.  Put this experience to good use:  I’ve decided I am going to do a run for epilepsy.  I want to raise awareness and fundage and most importantly (to me) help make this whole process mean something.  I’ll give you more info on what race I’ve picked next week but my mind has been turning with the ways I can make this happen.  This last year, my health has been crummy.  With the meds switch, this could really turn around and I want to celebrate this along with helping others who are still going through the hard times with this condition.

5.  New beginnings:  throughout this process, I’ve had (too much) time to think.  Wellness plays such a major role in our everyday lives and I think this is often the aspect we set aside in favor of “more important things”.  Yes, even in the blog world where we all convince ourselves we are masters of this wellness thingy.  I will be starting classes this summer (eek!) in a holistic health program – for sure!  Scary times!!  I’m excited, nervous, unsure, weary and hopeful for this new beginning.

It’s taken me almost 4 weeks to get here and chances are, I’ll have to refer to this post as a reminder in the next couple of weeks.  After these next two weeks of peaking with my new meds, I’ll get to taper from the old.  It may be more of a gradual process to feeling better than I am alluding to or allowing myself to believe but hey, we all have our coping mechanisms, right?  I simply choose DENIAL!  I like to feel proactive though and it keeps me from feeling like I’m barely treading water… like I’m actually moving somewhere.

15 thing friday – on time! (almost)

***Sorry for my lack of posts!  I’ve had a migraine since Tuesday – eek!  Today, I think I might be feeling better.  I think my poor brain is trying to recover…

Thanks for all of the warm wishes concerning my non-split from running!  We are quite happy to still be together as well.  I will say, I think running is being a bit passive-aggressive and talked to our (sometimes friend) Marathon.  My registration for the Chicago Marathon has been a bit rocky – I’ll keep you posted.

I smartened (not a word?) up this week and kept track of things I wanted to include in this post.  Magically, it was much easier to write!  Yay!

1.  Sick days.  Definitely not pleasant and my head has been sky-rocketing off my shoulders for days.  I’m completely done feeling this ick – whatever it is.

2.  I spent some time on this website the other day and you really need to read this post  I promise, it’s FUNNY

3.  And watch this

4.  Kzoo (and others) got another snow storm this week!  Last winter was mild and in my memory (which is probably skewed) this has been one of the winterery-est winters we have had in a while.

5.  I went on a baking bender this past Sunday and made three different kinds of cookies.  I tried two new kinds and this cake batter cookie turned out REALLY good!  I think adding vanilla chips next time around would make them out of this world!  The only recipe change I made was to use vanilla cake mix not yellow

these lil’ bundles of joy were delish

6.  This is silly and I know it but still makes me laugh

oh internets, I love you

7.  I found this mini detox diet on pinterest.  When I followed the link out of curiosity, a blogger tried it out and posted her thoughts.  She tries things she sees on pinterest and gives them a whirl.  I leave for a Vegas work trip in a week and a half so I’m going to try it before I go.  Let’s face it, Vegas is the land of temptation – in all forms!  The group I am going with already have buffets picked out!  It’s going to be a blast but if I want my pants to fit (at all!) then I need get things under control BEFORE I head out there.  Plus this mini detox allows you to eat, which I find extremely helpful!

8.  Simon always sticks by me when I am a sicky.  Total cuddle bug

9.  The style reno is still going strong.  It’s helping me be creative with my clothes, budget, but most of all, look in the mirror and say, “hey, not bad!”

10.  Red Vines.  Love them.  They might be triggering my headaches though.  I am sadder about this than I probably should be and now will need to test this theory by abstaining from said goodness.  Sad face.

11.  I thought these were really funny and they are courtesy of MyRaceRagz.com

from facebook but checkout their site!

12.  This scares me for the future of our country (heck, the present state of our education!) but also made me laugh… #10 had me rolling

13.  Maybe six or eight months ago I talked about how I needed to stop saying that I hated my life when I had a bad day.  I am happy to report, I had forgotten I used to even say it – that’s how good I’ve been!  It wasn’t until I saw this that I remembered and then was excited!  Yay!

14.  I made a homemade frosty earlier this week when I couldn’t contain my craving any longer.  I had pinned the recipe ages ago and it wasn’t bad.  It definitely took care of the craving with fewer calories.  Nice!

15.  I think the near split from running was a good thing.  I want to run again.  I know it’s going to be tough and I’m going to need to up my mental game.  I feel more ready to tackle this and not as much that I have to.  It feels like a better place than before.

running and I almost broke up

Running and I had a big fight this weekend… we almost broke up.  It went a bit like this:

Running:  you never spend time with me anymore!

Me:  you make me feel badly about myself – you used to be easier to handle and now I feel like a failure when we hang out

Running:  you have irrational expectations of me – 26.2 miles with not enough training?  Magical transformation of your gluteus maximus?  Lack of consistency?  I’m not a miracle worker, woman!  It’s going to be tough.

Me:  you don’t make me feel strong anymore – and you make me tired.

After we hashed out a few more of our issues with one another, Running said this:

Running:  I miss you!

Me:  weellll, I guess I kinda miss you, too

So we decided not to break up.  Running also pointed out that all of our mutual friends, Running Clothes, Garmin, Mizunos, and Brooks would have to choose sides and while Running didn’t come right out and say I might be on the losing end of this choice, it was definitely implied!

Nope, I am not a lunatic, I really did have an inner monologue argument with myself concerning running.  Did I still love it?  Was it still worth my time and energy?  I didn’t do the 1/2 yesterday because the “cons” outweighed the “pros”.

yes… this was one of the cons!

But as I laid there in the wee hours of the morn, I realized I need to either quit or get my head on straight.  It certainly wasn’t an easy convo to have as I need to admit some failures and my overall lack of motivation.  Running has given me so much but as a fellow runner once told me, “all runners go through slumps sometimes”.  Definitely helpful to know!  It’s okay to make changes and figure out how to fit it all in – for about a year now, I’ve tried to make it all work like I used to.  Now, I recognize that as my circumstances/life have changed, my training, my running and my daily habits need to change too.

My treadmill?  Out of commission, for another week.  They are sending a tech dude and some new parts so that’s good.  However, it is a bit disappointing.  There was no way I was going to take it apart and bring it back though.

maybe I should have bought this one instead

This isn’t meant to be a downer post.  In fact, I am feeling positive!  And I did good with one of my lenten promises today – I got dressed and was doing the whole negative self-talk thing.  Then I looked in a full length mirror, “huh… I guess I don’t look so bad after all.”  Yep, I paid myself a compliment!  Yay!

Baby steps folks, baby steps!

15 thing friday – a day late

15 Thing Friday is not my creation… in fact it’s the brain child of Running off the Reese’s and sustained in another favorite blog, Managing Meagan.  Meagan just happens to be a dear friend of mine.  Reese’s and I have exchanged e-mails so I consider her a friend too… even though she has no idea.

Without further ado…

1.  Enjoying the Small Things – I am OBSESSED with this blog!  I have already written about Kelle once this week and I am sure I will write about her again.  I am reading through her archives.  I love her writing, pics and outlook on life.  Oh and her style – man, I wish she would dress me everyday!  Head on over!

2.  Found at Target – the cutest little bird shower curtain rings!  I fell in love with them on Tuesday and purchased on Friday at 50% off!  Yay!

3.  Style reno – I’m doin’ it.

4.  I have a 1/2 marathon tomorrow.  I am beyond not ready for it but I am going to do it anyway.  Should be interesting.  Not to mention, a mini blizzard has hit today.  Fun?

I have conflicted feelings about this

5.  This weekend I am baking bread and cookies.  Two friends who helped move my treadmill into my apt requested the bread and the cookies will be a bonus.  I’ve yet to decide what recipe to use but I’ll post it when it’s all said and done.

6.  A couple of months ago I mentioned I was going to give BB creme a shot.  BB creme is a combination foundation and moisturizer with SPF.  It’s lighter in feel than a typical foundation and not as greasy as some moisturizer.  I love it.  I’ve been using L’Oreal’s Youth Code and I think it was $11.00.  I doubt I will use it in the summer but right now it has been a total skin saver.  My face isn’t dry but isn’t greasy either.  And my skin actually looks healthy, which is a winter time first!

7.  I watched Lars and the Real Girl.  Watch it.  It’s great.  I had no idea what to expect and it was perfect that way.  It’s on Netflix instant!

8.  I cannot get the lid off of this smelly good!  Ugh!  I’ve been trying for months!

9.  Procompression is having a 40% off and free shipping sale on their marathon socks!  One deal FEB40 is on any marathon sock and another deal SOM213 is for neon green sock with pink.  Run don’t walk to their website!

10.  Aspaeris is also having a wicked good sale!  $28 smackers later and you could be running and recovering in complete style and comfort.  The deal is through Active GearUp <—- use this link for the deal.

11.  I found this website from Kelle.  It’s called Ruche and I want to apologize in advance – there is a lot of cute goodness on this site!  The clothes are really reasonably priced!

12.  This was such a romantic kiss!

I have three zooey-things pinned on pinterest… I think we should be friends

13.  I am going to make this.  I also have decided I want to make other t-shirts.  Knowing me though, I’ll buy everything to do it and then it will sit there.  Ho-hummmm…

14.  For the Super Bowl party I attended, I made dates wrapped in bacon.  I’ve made them plenty of times but here is the “recipe“.  Okay, instructions – there really isn’t a recipe!  Oh and I’ve totally made these for dinner – paleo!

15.  One last Valentine

snakes, work, a treadmill and adhd – of course these all go together!

Happy Chinese New Year!  Or as my brother, who lives in Vietnam says, “Happy Lunar New Year!”  This is the Year of the Snake

my brother made this!

And guess what – it’s MY year!  Wahoo!  2011 was year of the pig and that definitely was not kind to us snakes.  Last year got better as it was year of the dragon and this year I am keeping my expectations high.  Funny enough, when I read through what this year was going to be like it warned that snakes can get complacent being our year and all.  This could lead to not achieving goals.  Why is this “funny enough”?  Because my theme for the year is DISCIPLINE!

Oh astrology, I have some love for you!

It has been a real ringer of work week.  I am beat.  And it’s Sunday.  I’ve been on call so it’s been an extra “oomph” of stress.  I have two other posts almost finished but the couple of times I went to post them this past week I didn’t have the brain power to make it happen.  While I’m whining… the weekend just isn’t long enough!

On Thursday I brought home a TREADMILL!  I know, I swore I was going to wait to buy one but then I completely caved.  I found a sweet deal and couldn’t resist any longer!  This sucker is a BEAST!  I didn’t realize it when I bought (shocker, me not look at the details?!) and it took the efforts of 3 of my friends to get it to my spare room.

At one point, one of my friends said, “We are going to have to pivot this”.  Of course, I busted up laughing and started yelling “PIVOT!  PIIIIIIIVOT!”

Unfortunately, none of three dudes had ever seen this episode (seriously?  this is a great episode!).  I was forced to keep yelling “pivot” as I watched them sweat and grunt and move this sucker into place.  I’m pretty certain this was what made it a successful delivery.  Yesterday I put it together and only needed help with the last couple of pieces.  I was kind of proud of myself.  Typically I shy away from directions when they look like this

scaaaaary!

Today is the inaugural voyage run!  Haha, I certainly won’t have any more excuses available to me.  Maybe this is what I should have done all along – remove any possible excuse!  Okay, who are we kidding, of course I would be able to think of something but I am looking forward to proving something to myself.

Tangent: I was perusing pinterest this morning and came across a pin about organizing for ADHD adults.  I have never been diagnosed with ADHD, however, I do believe I have some degree of it.  Every problem they listed with a corresponding solution is something I struggle with as far as organization.  I was kind of shocked!  Again, it makes sense and I see it but the validation was nice.  I’m usually hard on myself for my lack of organizational abilities when it seems so easy for many of my friends.  It was reassuring to read that a) others must struggle with this b) that I am not just lazy and c) that there are quality solutions/ideas.  Here is the article.  Even if you are already organized there are some good ideas!

happy sunday eve!

deep(ish) thoughts and questions for you

Last night I ran at the indoor track even though I loathe the gym.  I’m totally turning into a wimp – I simply don’t want to run in the snow and ice right now.  Not to mention, I have either become more of a ‘fraidy cat or I’m becoming smarter and don’t want to run in the dark anymore.  Anyway, I digress…

So, during my run, I saw quite a few very heavy individuals working out.  First off, kudos to them!  I remember hating going to the gym when I was bigger (heck, I still don’t like it much) because we are surrounded by numerous 18-20 years olds and gravity hasn’t touched their bums or their boobs.  This is probably my own issue – I digress again!  While I was running, I saw these folks start and complete their workout and it really got me thinking.

Is some movement better than no movement at all?

I really used to believe this but now I am not so sure.  I definitely feel any movement is GOOD, however, are people with a weight issue setting themselves up for failure/giving up by only doing a minimal amount of exercise?  Walking around a track a few times (not even the full amount to make a mile) and then riding the bike for a bit is a good start but will it give people a chance to see real results?  And if they don’t see results will it end up being, “well, I tried exercise and it didn’t work so what’s the point?”

One of the Biggest Loser’s competitors talked about how she used to go to a trainer every Tuesday and then would follow-up the session with a fast food binge, most likely negating any positive effects of the work out.

What are your thoughts?

Here’s the thing, I ran around that circle 45 times so I did have some time to ponder this.  From my standpoint, I would hate for someone to go to the gym but then not see any results and give up.  I absolutely agree that you have to start somewhere though and maybe this was where this group was starting.  From my personal experience, it has taken me some time to realize what combination of nutrition, activity and being lazy will result in weight gain, loss or maintenance.  And maybe I just want to help folks before they struggle and decide it’s not worth it because it IS worth it!  There probably isn’t much I can do but it’s been on my mind…

this is how I felt after running in circles 45 times

Also, an 18 year old hit on me yesterday and while at the gym someone said they thought I was one of the students.  I need to hear these things since I will be hitting my mid (FREAKIN’) 30′s this weekend.  Yes, it is better than the alternative – but couldn’t another alternative be that I was born 3 years later?!  Why hasn’t science developed something like this?!  What are they wasting their time on?  I am getting older!  Again, with the dramatics… but I do have a bit of a complex!  Not to mention the RUDE Superbowl that decided to overshadow MY day with holding their little game – lame!

Tonight I went back to the gym for 5 more miles.  Here is my tale of woe – I was running and had a bad dizzy spell (epilepsy related – boo!) at mile 3.36.  It was pretty bad and I’m sure everyone else thought I ran into the side of the wall but instead I was grasping it to keep from falling over.  Not my favorite.  I walked/ran the next 1/2 mile.  This seemed to take forever and I wanted to be finished so I jumped on an empty treadmill and pounded out the last mile at a 10:14 pace.  Maybe not the wisest option but I got it finished.  I am proud for going back tonight, especially since it’s been a little while since I’ve run consistent days in a row.  Cheers to some self-discipline and (whoa!) a training plan!

 

this would be longer but biggest loser is on

After work today, I was completely and utterly crabby.  The day had not gone how I wanted it to and then of course, it was Monday.  By the end of the day, I was DONE.  Thankfully, I had already packed my gym bag (yay for foresight!) and I headed over there directly from the office.

if I see someone spit on the indoor track I will get them with my key!

The run wasn’t perfect.  Two work phone calls and then some sales call interrupted and I feel like all of my endurance has wound up on a shelf that I can’t reach.  However, I still did 5 miles!  Right before the last mile and a half, I stopped for a drink of water and really thought to myself – do I care about it?  Then “Final Countdown” came on my shuffle and it was just the boost I needed!  Remember how I told you about that sign at the marathon that said “quitting is not an option?”  I hate this sign BUT I am working on my discipline so the thoughts of “do I care?” while are allowed to pass though are not lingered upon!

When I got home tonight, I wasn’t feeling great – a bit nauseous.  I ate some almonds and a few other nuts and I felt so much better.  I also finished drinking my water bottle and I know I was dehydrated.  Did you know almonds help nausea and heartburn?  They really do!  I also iced my knees.  Why haven’t I been doing this sooner?!  I will be incorporating this more often.

two different socks but my ice matches!

Oh and my mood definitely improved!  But where did my endurance go?  Anyone?