monday randomness

15 Jun

Thanks for the support last week.  Thankfully, time and communication helped the situation.  I’m kind of lousy at expressing my feelings to the people in my life but I am glad I finally did.  Even if it did make me want to vomit out of nervousness!

On a lighter note, the following are some random pieces of my prior week:

1.  I was super social folks.  I know, crazypants.  Since my mom passed 3 years ago, I’ve become much more of hermit as my social anxiety essentially skyrocketed.  More and more, I’ve noticed just how much I avoid social situations.  I’m working on pushing myself but eek!  It’s not easy.  Anyway, two times were forced – I worked late and had to host candidates for my job.  But I’m totally still counting these.  Then I went to a friend’s birthday party (where I was only going to know 2 ppl – HUGE for me!) and then went to Jurassic World with a couple of friends on Sunday.  Yep.  Pretty successful social interacting business for me.

2.  Jurassic World – I really enjoyed it.  And while sitting there, one of my friends from college came on the screen!  I didn’t even know he had a role in the movie!  He did get eaten but I was rooting for him!

I love this pic - not Simon, however, Jurassic Park is Simon's favorite movie

I love this pic – not Simon, however, Jurassic Park is Simon’s favorite movie

3.  I did some running.  Two treadmill runs due to weather and they were tough – as mentioned, treadmill runs are so much harder for me.  But the other two were death marches outside.  Per my usual m.o. I stalk my weather app.  The weather looked wonderfully cool for a MI June but alas I forgot about humidity – curses!  We’ve also experienced some impressive storms as of late which was the reason for the tready.  I AM very pleased with a four day week.

4.  Paris is getting ever closer!  The bachlorette party is in Spain so this plane ticket (from Paris) has been booked and we already got part of the itinerary for the weekend. Let me tell you – it is swank!  We will be enjoying a food festival in Barcelona along with a biking tour.  Ummm… I haven’t been on a bike in 15 years!!  Haha, this just cracks me up!  Seriously, these are just two of the activities planned.  It will be a beautiful weekend.  I’m bringing my running shoes so I can run in every place we visit.

if a chimp can ride a bike, I can ride one… right?!

5.  I purchased lovely succulents, and “pixie” plants for closed-top terrariums.  I also bought a couple of other plants.  I found this local nursery and I’m kind of obsessed.  I want ALL of the plants!  I’ll do a post once I get these bad boys finished up and seriously, it has made my apt so much more homey.  It’s great.

6.  Taye Diggs started following me on Twitter.  Yes, I verified it was him.  No, I didn’t follow him first.  I’m fairly sure it was because I posted this random thing about my chicken burger.  You see, on the back of my chicken burger package, it suggests different recipes.  One of them was to add a fried egg on top, which to be honest, kind of weirded me out.  So I shared this with the twitter-verse.  Next morning, BAM! Taye Diggs!

That’s it for not – go forth and conquer your Monday!  Or at least live through it!

running can’t fix everything

10 Jun

You know how people say/imply running can cure for all that ails you?  Well, I’m here to say, this isn’t true…

my feelings tasted like peanut butter m & m's

my feelings tasted like peanut butter m & m’s

Let me back up.  Yesterday was a crummy day.  A friend of mine hurt my feelings on Monday and in my true over-analyzing fashion, I couldn’t let it go.  It kept going through my mind, over and over.  In reality, the hurt-feelings aspect has been going on for a while now but it got to a breaking point on Monday.  I couldn’t do much about it that day so yesterday became the day of “the festering wound”.  Gross image, eh?

I won’t even insert a picture of what I was able to find on the internet.

I thought I would try to go for a run to make myself feel better – the magic of running, right?  It will fix everything!  Well, it didn’t.  Turns out trying to run while you are crying really interrupts your breathing and running.  Finally, I sat down under a tree and just bawled my eyes out.  I got up to finish my run but it was as lackluster as it was before the big crying session.

You know what I realized during this run?  Well, two things actually:

1.  My mental game is WAY off.  All I could think about was how horrible I felt emotionally and my running was suffering for it.  I had to walk bigger chunks, I was hot, I wanted to quit.  The fact I made it the whole loop is a miracle in itself and will get stored in my “if you can run through that, you can run through this” memory/strength bank.  I recently read an article about mental toughness and I thought about it again last night – here it is:

2.  Sometimes running can’t fix problems that sit in our souls.  They can act as a band-aid and I will admit the mini-burst of endorphins got me through the rest of the evening without feeling too sorry for myself.  But life is tricky and depending on anything too much just sets me up for disappointment.  Truthfully, had I gone out and had the best run I’ve had in months, I still don’t think it could have rescued me from the blues (although it would have helped a bit more!).  And there was no way that a great run could’ve happened – see number one.

I’m not sure if I am glad I went out there and ran last night but I guess it gave me a new place (aside from my couch) to expel some of my emotions. Probably getting outside and some fresh air was a positive.  And it really drove home how my negativity toward myself and my running abilities needs to be adjusted. Stat.

Ahhh… sorry for the pity party.  Things will get better…

no real point post

3 Jun

After last week’s running everyday deal, I’ve taken the last few days off.  In retrospect, running everyday might not have been the best plan since it took three days for my ankle to even start to feel better.  Lesson learned.

I love denial

That being said, I now need to jump back out there before it becomes even more daunting.  You know when you just know it’s going to hurt?!  But what better day to feel the pain that we runners know well then National Running Day!

I’m fairly certain this will be my first time running on National Running Day.  Strange.

Last night I made an interesting salad.  I threw together what veggies I had on hand and tuna fish.  This included some lettuce, red and yellow bell peppers, mushrooms, olives (I’ve been obsessed lately), sweet pickles, peas and then the tuna.  I proceeded to top this with some Sweet Baby Ray’s Honey BBQ sauce.  Again, it was a one of those combinations where the first bite was kind of “I’m not sure I’m going to eat this” to the last bite that was, “hey this was pretty tasty!”.  I was surprised by how full I was when I was finished and I believe the only part truly missing was an avocado.  Miss you.

this was basically how my salad came together – whatever I could find…

Other than making quirky food combos, not moving much and spending entirely too much time trying to find a dress for my brother’s wedding (along with other clothing options for Paris), I’ve been lazy.  This past weekend I was so tired that on Sunday, I slept until 9:21 am, took a little over an hour nap and was still in bed and asleep by 11 pm.  I did finally vacuum on Monday but my laundry is still crying uncle.  The good thing about not doing laundry is it forces me to get creative with my clothing options.  It also is telling when I put something on and refuse to wear it because of how much I hate it.  This automatically goes into the “give away” pile as opposed to how I used to simply put it back in my drawer.  Another adult decision!

I don’t have any clue what the purpose is of this post.  My salad?  My non-movement?  My plans to run tonight?  I’ll leave you with a picture of medal I won for the only time I placed in my age group ever.  I came in third and if memory serves (which it does) I legit SQUEALED with joy!  So much happiness!

in all it's glory!

in all it’s glory!

my personal brutus (plural) – peanuts & avocados

1 Jun

You know how I’ve mentioned my adoration for peanuts on this here blog?

Well, I’ve learned they are one of the culprits contributing to my poor tummy upset.  Curse you peanuts!  Seriously, how could something so wonderful hurt so much?!

basically… I loved you peanuts

And you know what else I’ve recently learned can be added to this list?  Copious amounts of avocado – WHY STOMACH GODS, WHY?!

it’s mocking me with its goodness

I hate it when foods stab me in the back…

With regards to peanuts, I really noticed a problem as I was inhaling the honey roasted bad boys.  Man, are they tasty.  My stomach was hurting a lot after I would eat them.  It took me entirely too long to put two and two together and then I was in denial.  I’m fairly certain regular peanuts are part of this deal, too, although it could be the sheer quantity of them I was eating.  I haven’t had any peanuts in their natural state in about 2 (3?) weeks so at least I’m learning my lesson.  Thankfully, I can eat a piece of peanut butter toast on Saturday and Sunday mornings and survive to tell the tale.

Silver lining?  My night snacking has decreased.  Always a positive.

Last week, I made the most delicious dinner.  Pork chops on my grill pan after marinating in Baby Ray’s Honey BBQ sauce overnight.  I paired this with some salad with some avocado.  Oh my goodness – it was heavenly.  I’m not even sure why I bought the avocado in the first place but it was such a good decision.  I put 1/2 of it on my salad that night and was simply TOO full when I finished scarfing down my dinner.  The next night, I eagerly anticipated my meal and only added a 1/4 of the avocado and wasn’t bursting at the seams anymore so this was better.

Thursday, I went home sick.  My stomach was completely unhappy – I was so queasy.  That night, I knew a pork chop wouldn’t settle so I chose a scrambled egg, baked potato and you guessed it, the other 1/4 of the avocado.  Again, deliciousness.

It didn’t dawn on me that perhaps the avocado was a culprit with regards to my bloated, painful belly until Friday.  Nevertheless, I had some again with my pork chop dinner (yes, I love leftovers!).  Saturday morning, I finally looked it up on the FODMAP diet and I was over the suggested amount.  Like MILES past it!  I purchased two more avocados Wednesday and it felt so wasteful so I ate some again on Saturday and Sunday.  I still have 1/2 of one left and I’m hemming & hawing about finishing the last part tonight.  In all reality, it’s silly to even be considering it since I don’t feel so great.  But those weird green puppies make me anticipate my dinner, like whoa.

I know I don’t have to swear off of avocados completely but perhaps I should not scarf them down for days at a time.  Look at me making adult decisions!  And it might be nice to have my tummy return to a non-bloated state.

Another adult decision I made was to give up on the RW run streak.  I officially started last Saturday and by this past Saturday my ankle was hurting even more and my knee suddenly decided to join the party.  I don’t typically have knee problems so I iced it but it still felt wonky.  Oh and some random shin pain in my opposite leg.  I really liked the idea of streaking (I know – lame joke), however, I don’t think it’s for me at my current fitness level.  Or maybe just in general.  The motivation was nice though – there was a “gotta get out and do this” mentality that I haven’t experienced in some time.  I’m kind of hoping I can continue to tap into this reserve that I didn’t even know still existed.

Made it through another Monday – winner, winner, chicken dinner!

ummm… running is hard

26 May

I’ve been silent on this here site for the last week.  There were a number of reasons and now I’m ready to jump back into the writing deal.  I do enjoy it so.

Last week, I ran on Monday.  I really believed it would be a good run.  It wasn’t.  It dampened my spirits a bit as I had high hopes.  Then I took a minor hiatus until Saturday where I walk/ran (mostly walked) 7.5 miles.  It was hot.  It was hard.  The walk/run combo was for the first mile and after that I just decided to put in the mileage in the form of walking.  This was because the running part so completely sucked that I couldn’t stand it.  Yep, the whole 4 day off deal didn’t help, nor did the hanging out on my buns prior to getting outside but still, I thought it would be easier.The walk was challenging as I made sure to hit some really steep hills to make up for the lack of running.  Sunday, I was fairly certain, was going to be easier.  After all, I got the “first day back” lazy legs out of the way so I was set.  Hmm – not so much.  At this point, I admitted to myself that running is just hard.

I’ve spent some time romanticizing my past running abilities.  In my brain, I envision a gazelle-like state; regularly running around without a care in the world because it was easy.  Clearly, my imagination is vivid and totally inaccurate!  When I turn off the filter, I can remember how hard those runs were – it just doesn’t feel like it now when I have to walk up yet another hill.  I also find there are times when I’m bored but I think this is related to the constant thought in my brain, “this is hard, this is hard, this is hard”.

Anyway, Sunday was a 5 miler and again not pretty.  But since the above conversation was going on in my head, I started saying, “tomorrow will be easier”.  Monday, I hit the pavement again.  Not exactly easier.  My legs felt lead-like.  I walk/ran 3.5 miles and I dare say, I ran more than I walked.  Hooray.  Using my keen over-analyzing abilities, I recognize dehydration is playing a role in these disappointing runs.  My handheld pulls on my (sort of still) dislocated thumb so I leave it home thinking I’ve been drinking enough during the day to get me through.  I love denial!

I decided to give the RW Run Streak a shot.  My runs will only get better and legs stronger if I add a heaping helping of consistency into the mix.  I have no idea if I will follow through on it – I’ve tried before.  But it’s an interesting challenge and even if I don’t make it everyday, it will still help.  Tonight I will only run a mile and then do a strength video.  I’m going to get swoll.

self-destructo

19 May

Yesterday I attempted to write a post but things were not going well.

It was an emotional day.  There were a few reasons that I won’t bore you with and great scott, I was a bit of a disaster.  Anyway, the whole post started to sound like one giant whiny mess.  So I hit delete.

Last week was okay in the work out department.  Certainly not great and it was yet another reminder I need to kick my own ass into gear.  I can’t wait for someone to do it for me.  And even if they attempted I can picture myself rebelling against them.  Example:  If Jillian Michael’s was my trainer I would want to high tail it out of there.  Then purposefully eat donuts.  In my sweatpants while binging on Netflix.  Self-destructo right here.

Anyway, do you also remember when I told Spring to get it together?  What was I thinking?!  We had some toasty, humid days and I came to my senses that 50’s in May ARE FREAKING AWESOME when you are a runner.  Saturday morning I ventured out for a quick run before traveling to visit friends.  It very quickly turned into a run/walk scenario.  It was gross.  Last night?  Same deal.  I will also admit, I’m a complete dodo bird.  I didn’t bring water with me on either run.  I know, just plain silly.  I’ve been carrying my phone with me (it’s in an otterbox case and won’t fit in anything I currently have) so carrying water is a bit tough.  Today I finally ordered an arm band on amazon.  I thought long and hard about the flip belt and even ordered one.  I don’t think it’s for me though.

There was some other exercising last week but nothing of note.  I’m trying a little something this week but before I go into detail I want to see if I accomplish it.  This past weekend I ventured down to visit some dear friends.  We haven’t been together as a group in ages so it was wonderful to catch up on all the happenings of life.  All three of them have little ones so I got in some toddler and baby snuggles.

friends!!!!!

friends!!!!!

Scary moment on the way down there – a semi decided to move into my lane right in front of me.  I was boxed in on either side by other cars so I had to hit the breaks.  I despise driving on the freeway.  I have no idea where this defensive driving business came from and I was extremely proud of myself.  When I arrived at my friend’s house, I had a delayed panic attack.  Haha, at least it wasn’t while I was driving!

The next morning we went to this cutie-patootie cafe for breakfast.  It had all kinds of accommodating foods and I even got gluten-free toast with my omelet!  I’m still thinking about that bread, man.

Alright, this is the end of my post.  I’m debating running tonight.  We shall see how motivated I am after I go to the grocery store.

Does anyone else have their motivation crushed by the grocery store like I do?

i’m neurotic about my feet

14 May

When I first started running, I didn’t give much mind to my feet.  I was happy they got me from point A to point B and that was it.  My first 5k and all of the training leading up to it, I wore some really broken down shoes that weren’t meant for street running (maybe trail running?  but I really don’t think so) and they were OLD.  As in years old.

After that first 5k, I liked the running gig and decided it was time to have REAL running shoes.  I proceeded to search Kalamazoo over, looking for shoes I deemed appropriate for my new runner status.  I went everywhere – well, everywhere except my local running store.  Because I can be a dumb bunny.  After multiple purchases and returns (I’m pretty sure there are stores in my area that no longer want me to walk through their doors because of my returning issues), I went to Gazelle, my local running store.  It was a great experience and it increased my “I’m a runner!” feeling.

Even after this magical experience, I didn’t give much mind to my feet – or really, injuries in general.  I didn’t develop my first injury until 1/2 marathon training when I decided stretching was stupid.  Still, my feet were good to go.  Until the Headless Horseman 10 Miler.

happy cat lady runner - this was before I knew how much it was going to suck

happy cat lady runner – this was before I knew how much it was going to suck

This was an inaugural semi-local race that sounded darn cool.  The course was through a golf course, at night and you got a nifty little plaque.  I dug it and managed to trick convince two other runner friends to do it.  It was Halloweenie time so we kind of dressed up and were on our way!  The race sucked on so many levels.  I had a 1/2 a week or two before and then didn’t run much so the Monday of this week I decided I needed to squeeze in a 10 mile training run.  Unbeknownst to me, the route I chose had a ton of slanted sidewalk and I’d been slacking on overall training so this was a silly thing to do.

From that point forward, I’ve had troubles with my right foot.  I’m fairly certain my arch fell on that ill-fated training run as this is what all of the interwebs said.  It’s been problematic for the last 5 years or so?  I don’t know, it feels like forever.  It’s also what led to my ankle issues in this foot.  My neurosis officially set in after the headless horseman run.

Now, I’ve gone through a variety of different shoe styles to try to help it.  I’ve purchased all kinds of braces and arch bands.  My love for Tom’s probably didn’t help as the summer before last, this was all I wore.  I BARELY ever wear heels anymore as I know these aren’t good for my runner feet/ankles.  Any off feelings worry me and I immediately jump to some kind of worse case scenario.

cinderellaSince all of this, I’ve done few smart things: 1) I went with the special inserts.  As much as these initially pained me (literally) they have been a huge help.  My arch feels so much better and my ankle is hanging in there. 2) I’ve been stretching my ankles and rolling a tennis ball under my feet after running.  I hate stretching – no real reason, I just do.  3) I buy lots of Sketchers.  They have extra support and I’ve been able to find some cute ones to wear to work.  They are more comfy than typical flats and make my feet happier.

aaaaa – my eyes! I don’t hate, I just can’t handle it!

My soon to be sister-in-law LOVES high heels.  We talked about it recently and she said there are times when she can no longer feel her toes – even when not wearing heels.  The other day, I was walking behind a woman with those crazy heel-platform things and it was like watching a newborn calf try to walk.  Part of me wishes I could return to my high heel days.  But alas, this is not in the cards.  Not terribly high platforms do work well for me, so I can still be dressy but that’s it.  I’m neurotic about my feet.

You?  Do you love high heels?

Are you neurotic about your feet?

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