For the last few weeks, my stomach has decided to take a trip down memory lane & revert to its ultra troublesome state. This past week was the worst so far & I almost had to go home early from work on Thursday & then did have to call in sick on Friday. I have some special meds to take when it gets bad, but they make me a little blurry, which isn’t a helpful side effect when working with patients!
I’m in the midst of a bad IBS flare up & it completely sucks. There are some variations in the types of IBS and mine includes an epic stabby feeling inside my stomach, nausea, & bloating. It’s quite painful & unpleasant. Since mine is combined with an ulcer, Pepto Bismal tabs are my bestie.
My diet has played a role. Since I started working at the office, I’ve eaten more gluten than I have since I went to France for my brother’s wedding two years ago. There are a lot of office treats & I’ve had to grab some lunch out when I’ve forgotten mine at home. Way, way, too much for this gluten sensitive gal. I’ve been eating way too legumes, a no-no on the approved FODMAPs list also. Then there’s been sooooo much popcorn! I’ve never had problems with popcorn in the past but it’s been extreme as of late. I just finished my last 1/2 a bag of Skinny Pop & I won’t be buying any more for as long as I can hold out. This one is going to be TOUGH.
Next up, the stress. Ugh. Starting a new career is challenging and I get frustrated with myself as it feels like my progress is slow. Money is tight – what is this rent & utilities nonsense?! It doesn’t help that WA is in the top 10 for most expensive states to reside. I love LuLaRoe but I’m finding it difficult to forward this income source as my business person skills don’t seem to come second nature to me. There are some other loose ends as well, so consequently, my anxiety is playing a key role in my Pepto popping madness. My insides are basically downing pint size shots of cortisol, or at least this is how it feels. Bad dreams, constant fretting, and I was having at least one panic attack daily for a month. It’s no wonder it feels like Wolverine lives in my stomach & is trying to find freedom from the confines of my stomach lining!
Then there is the lack of exercise. I’m quite the couch potato. This isn’t good on a couple of levels. 1. The New York Marathon is in 4 months – eeeeek! I have downloaded a 16 week training plan which looks doable for a successful finish. But there is that whole thing of ACTUALLY GETTING OUTSIDE! 2. I’m finding I’m quite fatigued when I get home in the evenings. 9.5 hour days are long & I just want to be in sweat pants, sitting, & zoning out in front of the tv. Productive, eh? My former stomach doc told me working out helps with the stomach pains, & that I have to get up even if I feel really crummy. Of course it’s easier for him to say than for me to do.
When I was speaking with my sister about some of the above, she asked me to think about things I can control so I don’t feel so helpless. And there are a few if I convince myself that it’s within my reach. There is an optimistic part of me that while currently being drowned in stomach acid, is hoping feeling more in control helps calm this flare up as missing work isn’t an option and my stomach hurts! The stomach issues are also aiding in my lackluster LuLaRoe sales since my energy levels are tapped by the time I get home. But it means I really do need to take this control back. I’ve already jumped back on the gluten-free train – I need it out of my system. I’ve started down the path of dealing with my student loans dilemma, & I went for a run today. I advertised for a couple of in-house LuLaRoe Open Houses for the week & reread my last post on motivation – turns out I can give myself decent advice. These aren’t giant steps but they are steps nonetheless. I mean, starting somewhere is better than not starting at all, right?