weight loss destination

9 Jan

I mentioned it in my last post that recently, I’ve reached my goal weight.  After my mom passed, I gained back some of the 80 lbs I lost many moons ago.  When I started feeling the weight came back on, I felt powerless to do anything about it.  It was frustrating.

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I deal with angst with humor

Now, let’s rewind to the timeframe when I was at my thinnest.  I took a quiz in Self magazine about calculating your “happy weight” or the weight range your body was most suited for.  Because even though I had completely bypassed my original goals, I wasn’t content with how I looked.  The article was about how this so-called happy weight was higher than what you thought.  I took the quiz, excited that I would get some validation that I was in fact, thin enough.  Unfortunately, according to the results, I should’ve weighed at least 8-10 lbs less than I already did.  I failed to take into consideration my muscle mass, which was decent at the time and simply focused on that 108-110 lb as the “ideal” weight for me.

The quiz asked about height, big/small bone and I tried plugging in a few different numbers.  I’m almost 5’2 – but maybe I was 5’3?!  Maybe I was big-boned?  Not at all, Simon-Cat can fit is mouth across my wrist (we had a fight once).  Nope, the results didn’t change much.  I was a little obsessed.  I ended up having my gallbladder taken out right about this time and after surgery, I lost those 8 lbs.  I did it!  People asked me if I was okay, as I looked a little sickly.  I couldn’t finish a Lean Cuisine.  I barely had enough energy to get through the day, although I started running fairly quickly after surgery.  It dawned on me there was no way I could sustain this weight.

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Gaining those 8 lbs wasn’t terribly difficult!  Neither was putting on the pounds after my first half marathon (I ate like I was still in training), and then again in the last few years. In my mind, I wasn’t looking to get back to my driver’s license weight, merely a couple of pounds within it!  It was the destination point in my mind of where some body happiness lay and while I dreamed about getting there, I didn’t necessarily follow through on my attempts to do so.  Then I suffered through participated in the Whole 30.  I identified my glutton sensitivity along with some other stomach ailments all of which helped me to lose 10 lbs.

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I was pretty happy

This was some solid gold weight loss.  While it fluctuated by a couple of pounds, I still felt better than I had.  Unfortunately, my aforementioned stomach problems (which I’ve detailed before) wanted to take center stage in my life.  I think I lost a couple of pounds from this, considering all too often I felt sick and wasn’t able to eat much.  I’m afraid, I did see this as an upside to constantly feeling ill, but when this was my daily life, I took enjoyment where I could.

In the last 6 months, I’ve experienced a great deal of (mega) life changes.  With this came another 12 lb weight loss.  How crazy is it that even a smallish scale deviation makes such a big difference in how clothes fit?  I still think this is absolutely nuts!  And I remember this from when I was gaining weight.  Weird.  Have I reached my body happiness place?  Actually, more so than in years past when I had a magic number in my brain and hit it.  There is some freedom in this feeling considering the other times I set a goal weight and achieved it, suddenly a few less pounds became an even better ideal, regardless of what I would need to do to get there.  Turns out there was never a happy place before.  Now, look at me!  I’m growing!

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All of this enlightenment has also brought me to the realization that I need to jump back into exercising.  Working from home means I don’t exactly have a routine down.  As I mentioned, I’m maintaining because my eating habits are all out of whack; anxiety, starting my business, and a constantly running brain means I forget to eat or don’t eat a lot.  With a routine, I can possibly ease some of the above concerns (which I do recognize ARE concerns), while sustaining this.  And I need some strength!  And some endorphins!  And some energy that isn’t anxiety induced!  And some freakin’ vitamin D!  Also, you know, eating regularly, as I realize this is important.

Then I watched this video.  All of the love and some tears!  It made me miss running.

(The story behind this commercial is interesting.  Adidas doesn’t deserve credit here – please take a gander)!

P.S. I dig the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer … yep, I know I’m WAY behind the times!

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I love lists

31 Dec

I know it seems a little cliché to write my first post back in a million years on New Year’s Eve.  Oh well.  I’ve attempted a couple of posts in the last few days but they were all too involved.  I need to split some of this business up or you would be reading for about 10 hours!

Naturally, I have no idea where to start.  So, I’ll do a list.  I never realized how much I love lists until I started writing this blog.  Here we go:

1. I’m currently hanging out in my own place!  Yay!  I somehow got a sweet deal in an incredibly tough rental market in my home town.  I’m not kidding – it’s nuts.  Lack of availability means rent is large and in charge for so many places.  Not to mention, many places are run through renting agencies which require you to make three times your rent on a monthly basis.  Hahahahaha (this is a crazed laugh, can you tell??).  Again, I thank my lucky stars that a) I’m persistent and b) that things worked in my favor.

2. I also got an amazing deal on a set of furniture!  I love it when a plan comes together!

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Simon-cat has claimed this chair for his very own. I put a blanket over it as to limit cat hair transfer. Today is the first day I’ve sat in it – no wonder he loves it!

3. My house is right next door to my dad’s house so I was able to bootleg enough internet for my LuLaRoe business but other than that, I didn’t have access for THREE WEEKS due to connectivity problems.  I watched Twilight, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter over and over again.

4. LuLaRoe.  Since my job search has not been fruitful, LuLaRoe is my source of income.  Being my own boss and having my own business is both neato and terrifying!  As a new consultant, it takes time to build a customer base, inventory, along with revamping my business plan over and over again.  This results in waking up to panic attacks in the middle of the night!  HOWEVER, I have already met some fun people and am looking forward to continuing this journey.  Not to mention, I am enjoying this business a lot!  Although a job would be helpful!  Just keeping it truthful here.

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in this case the stress is real!

5. More LuLaRoe.  I love the clothes!  My sister had to tell me “stop shopping your inventory!”  Haha, seriously though, so many treasures!  Not to mention, when women (those are my current customers) try the clothes on the delight in their eyes is fantastic.  One woman swore off dresses many moons ago.  She put on the Carly dress and LOVED it!  First dress in forever and she bought it 10 minutes after trying it on and looking in the mirror.  It’s an amazing feeling to be a part of these moments.

6. I was doing well in the fitness realm in August, September and the first two weeks of October.  I was walking about every other day and even running!  My bum knee was responding in a positive way!  Then life took over and my routine fell by the wayside.  I will say, I ran a Turkey Trot with my sister and I was able to run a heck of a lot more of it than I thought I could.  That being said, the aforementioned anxiety and work load has led to some additional weight loss while no longer sticking to the walking/running.  I’ll get in the zone with LuLaRoe and forget to eat.  For the record, I don’t forget to eat.  Ever.  I always thought this was a silly phrase and perhaps a fake phenomenon.  Nope.  It does happen.  I’ve reached my goal weight, although I think I need to reinvigorate my walking/running since forgetting to eat isn’t the healthiest weight loss method nor one that I can count on to keep the pounds off.  I mean, I’m starting to remember to eat (a positive thing for sure).

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sister dear and I taking a running break for a picture!

7. Overhauling my life has been more complicated than I ever would’ve imagined.  There will be posts on this all on their own.  While I knew it would be a tough and interesting transition, this information was processed in the practical/logical part of my brain, rather than the emotional-feely part of the brain/heart/spiritual side.  Like I said, more posts to come on this since I do enjoy processing.  Also, it was ABSOLUTELY the right choice!

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I love this quote

8. Happy New Year!  I don’t make New Year resolutions anymore.  Some of the items or goals I mentioned above are things I’ve already been working on and need to get more assertive in making them a reality.  I recognize many people see it as a fresh start but I consider to be this marker.  So, I have another month and 3 days to my “new year” and I’m going to continue to work on my goals and work through the transitions.

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how can I fail when I have dairy on my side?! (p.s. Buzzfeed lists are the best – they do love to put together lists of unfortunate mistakes while adding some comentary)

Off to take photos of new inventory!  My blog page is getting more traffic than my LuLaRoe page and it’s reminded me how much I love to write!  Happy New Year everyone!

 

real life

4 Sep

The last I left off, I was moaning and groaning about how much stuff I had, and the whole packing saga.  I ranted about Ariel and her hoarding; she made it look cool in the movie but in reality so.much.stuff. is overwhelming when it comes to packing … or sometimes even in everyday life.

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Silly me!  I didn’t realize Simon’s middle name was “Cat” until the vet visit.  Poor guy – he desperately needed some “sedagives” for this trip.  

Anyway, I jumped in my (overflowing) car about 6 days after my goal leave date.  I was on my own, well, Simon-Cat was my co-pilot, I shouldn’t discount his presence.  It was a harrowing experience.  The whole drive was fraught with danger – no seriously, one blown out tire, and 3 others that “should’ve blown out as well”, Simon-Cat’s Houdini escape during Chicago traffic and tornado winds in Montana.  Not to mention, my previous (completely unrealistic and just plain stupid) plan to make it back to WA in 4 days.  Oh, let’s not forget how I don’t like to drive.  The title of my blog makes more sense everyday.

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Simon-Cat found very strange places to sleep at hotels and while we waited for our tires in 95+ heat, we sat in the car for over an hour with the AC on full blast.  Since I had to take a few different routes, I kept resetting my destinations and here is the Little Orange Bug That Could sitting all pretty on the ferry ride to home!

I got back in 7 days.

It was also filled with multiple meltdowns by Simon-Cat and me.  Hotels that got worse and worse as the days dragged on; the second to last one had hallways littered with stains.  I’m certain the staff simply gave up because one particular vomit stain was merely wiped up – I avoided this landing all together.  And I know my stains, living with college students for 13 years means an extensive, albeit at times unnatural, educational experience.  The Motel 6 was my last stop and with this one I used a tissue to utilize the remote control.  Trust me, you would’ve done the same.

My brother says I will be proud of myself one day.  I will look back and feel empowered by my 2,500 mile trek across a number of states.  I’m not so sure about this.  The jury is still out and I’ve yet to get that warm, fuzzy feeling of accomplishment.

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I’ll never recover from this.  Front and back of the treacherous tire.

When I got back I was able to rest for a whole 5 seconds before attempting to finish pulling together our 20th high school reunion.  This too, came with a whole bundle of chaos and my already rattled nerves were shot by the end of the 2 1/2 weeks until event time.  After which, I slept for DAYS.  The rest of July was spent recovering from 2 1/2 months of stress, anxiety and the non-stop questioning of “did I make the right choice for Simon-Cat and me”?  You see, Simon-Cat threw up at least once everyday for about a month.  It was no fun.  He still is more pukey than normal and his new nemesis is the garbage truck.  He is not yet sold on being a Washingtonian.

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high school and bestie reunion FUN!

August rolled around and I started to realize the freedom I now had since I’m no longer part of the higher ed world.  It was nuts.  I made plans for a weekend in August without checking 3 different calendars!  Such a luxury – seriously, I’m not exaggerating.  I’ve been involved in before school starts higher ed activities since my sophomore year of college.  It was/is BIZARRE.  Job searching also commenced.  My original plan was to head over to a bigger city nearby but after spending time with my family, I am currently looking for options here in town along with our neighboring one.  I like the idea of being closer even if the one further away has a Trader Joe’s.  So far, my options are slim – even in the bigger city.  This is a bit of a downer.

Which takes us to the last couple of weeks.  It’s quite strange to be unemployed.  I’m aimlessly going through the days and have become an official insomniac.  There are a ton of complications from the outside world that come with not having a job; for instance, I don’t get a regular paycheck anymore.  Boo!  I miss this!  Nor do I have medical insurance currently and guess what?  Prescriptions are spendy!  I kind of feel like I’m in a bounce house with a bunch of hooligan kids who enjoy making me lose my balance and fumble onto the floor and against the sides.  This has happened before so I am literally familiar with the feeling!

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hopefully, it’s clear this isn’t me, I wanted to provide a visual to drive my point home!

During these last two weeks, I decided to officially become a LuLaRoe Fashion Consultant.  I’m currently hanging out in the que (it takes about 4-6 weeks to become a consultant) but my mind is constantly swimming with ideas, doubts and excitement about this adventure.  There are times when I can’t sleep (part of the aforementioned insomina) because I am putting outfits together in my brain utilizing this versatile clothing line along with pieces I already own.  While I want to get started right now! I also realize the wait is good so I can get myself organized.  I will be doing a full post on becoming a business owner and what this entails in the near future.

When I type all of this out, it seems like there has been a lot happening.  And realistically, there has, but life is so up in the air that it’s hard to see where I’ve made progress and where I need to concentrate my efforts.  One thing is absolute:  I made the right decision to move back the great Pacific Northwest and to be with my family.  I am still finding my way here, this much is true.  Nevertheless, it is where I belong.

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Truth

This here, is a recap of the last 3 months in a Reader’s Digest format.  I know anecdotes (mostly humorous) will find their way into future posts as I seriously skimmed through a lot but this is a good start to returning to my love of writing and blogging.  Happy to be back!

 

arial was/is a hoarder

12 Jun

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The answer is “no” Ariel, it isn’t neat.  Sure, you had to move your stuff from the bottom of the ocean to a castle but I’m guessing Daddy Triton had some kind of magic that made that super easy.  Not to mention, she was collecting trash and she could get all shiny new snarfblatts once she became a princess.  Now, try rolling out all of your stuff into a trailer and tell me how great your “whoseits and whatsits a plenty” really are!

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what “whoseits and whatsits a plenty” really looks like

 

And since Mary Poppins was a big liar and my stuff doesn’t magically march into boxes and zip on home, a moving appartus was necessary.

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this was my original plan.. after 3 1/2 hours of massive panic I found a new plan.  It’s a long story

So yeah, Ariel, having loads of stuff is fun for a while and then when moving time come along suddenly, not so much fun.  My original plan was to leave on June 15th.  Then a job possibility opened up and I decided to leave on June 10th.  Now, I keep pushing may leave dates day by day.  Because seriously, packing and moving are massively anxiety ridden!  HOWEVER, I will probably leave on the 15th so I am right on time!

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the t-rex was packed – obviously

I’ve given away a ton of stuff already and now I’ve got piles of even more donations.  I’ve also been selling a few things.  Not as much as I would’ve liked but selling stuff actually takes more effort and time than I anticipated.  Now I have 3 or 4 things I really want to sell and the rest is going to a local mission.

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this is only the beginning

I keep packing – Wahoo!  Then I look around and it FREAKS me out!  I’m a natural accumulator of things and I don’t know what I’m doing.  People keep saying, “just throw things in a box” but I’m not really sure what this means.  Maybe I’m being too intentional with my packing but I’m working with a small amount of space so I feel like I have to be.

What is the purpose of this post?  There isn’t one.  It’s not a super stellar, but it allows for a bit of procrastination and venting before finishing the kitchen.  Yep, I should’ve started earlier.  I didn’t think it would take as long as it does.  I completely underestimated how my stuff multiplies like gremlins!

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all of my stuff mocking me

Alright Amy out – gotta get this business DONE.  I did have one brilliant idea; I’m going to hire movers to move my stuff from my apartment to the trailer which is 3 mins away by truck.  Then they will pack it up… yep a brilliant plan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the amy moving chronicles

30 May

First thing, I will only utilize the third person narrative in my titles for the upcoming series.  I can’t do it for entire blog post since I would feel slightly pretentious.  Just wanted to get the record straight.  Also, this is the first in what is going to be quite the series/saga, so prepare yourselves to see variations of this title for a few weeks.

A month ago, I put in my resignation.  Way back in the day, I detailed how it was time to make some major life changes.  In fact, I’ve touched on this in multiple posts but in truth turning these words into a reality was difficult.  I got sidetracked by work and my own anxiety and failed to make any real progress toward the life changes.  After the holidays, I was more committed than ever to move back to WA or OR to be closer to my family.

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seriously – who wouldn’t want to rejoin this nutty bunch!

Officemate had also been on the hunt for a change and moved away in Feb sans job, although one hovered on the horizon.  Maybe this was what gave me a touch of courage.  Or maybe it was that I was allowing too many excuses get in the way of making a final decision.  Whatever it was, I said I was going to move and started job searching.

Well, I’m still job searching.  When I realized job searching is/was more difficult from 2500 miles away than I anticipated, especially when changing fields all together, I blurted out I was moving with or without a job.  I’m certain this was a higher power taking over the wheel since I’m still not sure how these words came out of my mouth.  I’m typically more cautious than this.  Three days later I put in my resignation and picked my last of work date.  June 14th.

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pretty excited to rejoin the washingtonians

Fast forward to today and I still don’t have a job and moving day has been moved up to the 11th.  Thankfully, my fam is willing to take Simon and I in as (freeloaders) guests until I land a job, which I fully plan on it only being at the most a month.  And no, I don’t have any plans to be the family mooch, I’ll be a contributing member!  Also today, I’m taking another huge step and am (FINALLY) securing my moving apparatus.  Seriously, this is some nerve-wracking business!  I always planned on hiring a company to load up and move all of my stuff but when it comes down to the dollars and cents, apparently, I’m cheap.  Or completely naive – both on what it would cost to get back to the other side of the country and to how much work is in front of me.  But whatever, it’s done.

It’s weird what steps seem so huge to me.  The first, was making the decision in the first place.  This one is obvious.  The second was the resignation in writing, again pretty clear why this was a big deal.  But the following have sent me through a whirlwind of nerves:  picking my last day of work (it was kind of in my control), setting the date and any details for my farewell gig at work, ordering my moving contraption, selling stuff online (still need to do), trying to figure out how to transport Simon in the car… there are more.  All of these feel so final and it’s a tad overwhelming.  I really feel as though I have absolutely NO IDEA what I’m doing.  Hence the waiting until the last minute on many of these.

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who needs sleep, amiright?!

 

So, today is a good step.  I called my dad for advice because “cubic feet this and cubic feet that” were really getting confusing and I needed some confirmation I was making sound decisions.  I even went ahead and secured my storage at a facility in WA, so at least this was a step in the right direction!  Simon has a giant “pack ‘n play” for his car travels which I’ve set out so he can get used to it, and I’ve scheduled my last hair appt with my favorite stylist <– this was important!  I still have one last doc visit to schedule, Simon needs to see the vet, visit friends, get my car fixed, because surprise! my AC doesn’t work!  Then there is that pesky packing.  I tremble a bit thinking about it.  I know I will pull it together in the end – it’s the German way.  In the meantime, I’ve got lavender/lemon essential oils going in my diffuser to ease my and Simon’s anxiety.  I swear, my little guy has picked up on it and is freaking out right along with me.  We are a pair!

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we all got this shirt for Christmas – trust me, the sentiment is true.

More of the moving saga to come…

where did I go?!

29 Jan

This isn’t a question I think you are asking… more a question I’m asking myself.  Where have I been the last two months?!  I’m not even sure I know the answer.  I miss my blog and the urge to write is making my fingers itch.  So back in the proverbial saddle.  I feel a bit rusty though…

A brief rundown of my what I’ve been doing:

1. The holidays.  I headed back to WA like I do every year.  This was different since it was essentially a “Very Brady Christmas”.  My sister in law and brother in law came from Paris, and these were simply two of the folks joining in on the festivities – there were many others.  I will be honest, I was slightly apprehensive.  It all seemed so BUSY.  Of course, I worried needlessly.  It was an amazing visit.  I will write a full post because my family deserves more than a paragraph in a recap.

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family

2. I greeted the new year with sickness.  I’m thinking this is my new thing.  For the last few years, I’ve come back to MI and within a few days, come down with an ailment.  Planes man… they are flying germ buckets.  I then proceeded to pass along my troubled immune system to office mate.  He has had his revenge though because now he is getting sick AGAIN and I am about a day or two behind him.  The little virus critters are taking hold.  We are passing disease back and forth and I am lysol-ing the entire office.  We share the same phone and same bin of pens.  We are a biology experiment gone wrong (or gone right depending on which tests you are running).

3. Job searching, resume writing and new career finding.  This is definitely one of the biggest changes I’m currently undertaking.  I’ve known for a while this was the direction I was headed but now I’m actually making some progress.  Back to the great Pacific Northwest for me and it includes a career shift.  I’ll miss higher ed but I’m eagerly anticipating a different challenge.  The cross country move, while necessary, is some scary business though!

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4. Work.  Work always seems busy for anyone and everyone I know.

5. Actually cooking!  I have a post that is mostly written on this and I’ve been impressed with myself.  I realized it’s been some time since I was cooking meals and it was having a detrimental effect on my overall eating habits.  A blueberry muffin, blueberries and skinny pop are not the best dinner combination.  I wouldn’t say I committed to cooking dinner, rather I did it one night and then kept going from there.

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I love this dancing tater tot

6. I’m working on talking my sister and brother into doing a sibling 1/2 marathon.  I am slowly convincing them of what an amazing idea this is!  It means I need to get a move on with getting back into shape.  My current shape is more blob-like.  And I have no muscles to speak of.

7. Lastly, I’m still eating ice like mad.  I was doing pretty well with taking some iron pills and then I forgot them over break.  I’ve been a bit of a failure with reincorporating them into my med routine.  This weekend – I’m going to fix this.  I’m going through oh so many cupfuls!

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this is me

An invigorating post, eh?  Really, I needed to finally hit “post” – side note, whenever I say this word, I can hear my Michigan accent.  Very strange.  Happy weekend!

inner thoughts

2 Dec this was on the ground - ice just WASTED.  shameful

I couldn’t decide on a title for this because it really is going to be a bunch of rambling – that probably should be the title.  The following things have been rattling around my brain for the last few days and I need an outlet.  Lucky you!  Of course it’s in list form, silly goose!

1. People who say you either shouldn’t or can’t eat a whole pie by yourself clearly lack ambition.  Trust me.  I am ambitious.  I really don’t know why I don’t make pumpkin pie more often – I love it.  Maybe it has to do with my ambitious nature.

2. Super thankful for my little ice machine.  My normal supplier was closed up for the holiday weekend but “babycakes” (as I affectionately nicknamed her – stolen from Spike, see below) did a great job.  Multiple cupfuls of ice were consumed.

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someone left this was on the ground – ice just WASTED. shameful

3. I had big plans on being productive during this past minibreak.  I wasn’t.  Unless you count powering through a couple of seasons of Flashpoint, which I doubt I should.  TeamSpike forever.

look how cute he is!

4. Have you ever watched so many episodes of a tv show that you get really into the characters?  Seriously, I had to remind myself “these people ARE NOT real!”  Maybe I should have talked to more actual humans…

5. I did not go black friday shopping this year.  I’ve done it for YEARS – back in the day when I was home for Thanksgiving break during college and my mom would drag me out of bed to run through walmart picking up presents for the little cousins and family.  While I kind of felt like I abandoned a tradition, I didn’t need anything.  Not to mention I didn’t want to be mobbed by all of the people and traffic.  Social anxiety saved me money and clutter this year!

6. Monday morning I had the brilliant idea to weigh myself.  I know, WTF was I thinking?!  Nevertheless, I knew it was time to face the numbers.  I haven’t moved much since I ran the marathon.  I should definitely be more than 2 lbs heavier but “thankfully” my ulcer makes it difficult to eat, so you know, silver lining.  Now, I need to get back on the treadmill for some walking, swimming for less impact and continue to strengthen my muscles with the PT exercises.  All of this written out looks a bit overwhelming considering my recent lack of motivation so I am going to break it down into some manageable pieces.

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truth

7. Speaking of ulcer city, two things.  Sad face – I can no longer have my afternoon coffee (well, I managed yesterday but probably not advised).  I’m not kidding when I say, I find a sense of lost in this fact.  I luuuuurve it.  But it kicks up my stomach pains, so to the curb with it.  Next up – happy face – my stomach hurt on Wednesday even though I sort of had the day off BUT I felt better for 3.5 days!  Better than I have in MONTHS.  It was delightful.  Sunday afternoon?  Acid boiled up again.  Stress man… working on some life changes.

That’s all for now.  I have a couple of other random posts on the way and hopefully some kind of aerobic activities to report on in the next few days.  I have every intention of losing these two silly pounds in the next 22 days, so I better get crackin’.  Not to mention, the endorphins, digestion help and the overall good feels that come with being active.

this might count?

this might count?

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