Obviously the last few days have been rough. I still can’t believe almost a whole week has gone by since my sister called me with the news. I wish I could say that things have gotten easier but that isn’t the case. Each day presents itself with a new array of emotions or issues that need to be dealt with. However, through this, I have found things to be grateful for. Here is my list:
I am so grateful for my dad. I am proud of him for not feeling like he has to hide his emotions and for talking with us kids about my mom. We don’t pretend everything is normal but we also make jokes and enjoy being together. I know we are all still in a state of shock but for right now this is working for us.
I am really grateful for the pets. My parents have two cats, Frank and Chloe and Maggie the dog. All of them feel out of sorts and are missing my mom. The pets are a major comfort to my dad and to me. My mom loved them and they provide both humor and energy in the house. Oh yeah, and they are really soft and cuddly!
I’m grateful for the touch of stomach flu that is allowing me to concentrate on something else
I’m grateful my packing skills (please insert sarcasm).
I am grateful to my friend/co-worker Shirley who just happened to put a bunch of photographs on a disk for me a few days before it happened.
I’m very grateful I didn’t erase the last few texts messages from my mom. She wanted to make me homemade maxi pads. She was kidding of course and I played along since I knew she wanted me too. But she told me she loved me and despite the rather odd/yucky topic it still makes me laugh.
I’m grateful I went for a run the other day. It’s a good time for me to be on my own and helps with the stress. Plus, my dad mapped out a route for me that essentially includes EVERY hill in my hometown!
I am beyond grateful for all of the kind thoughts and words from everyone. My facebook page is filled with sentiments and comfort and I have no idea what I would do without this outpouring of love. It really has helped!
This is my list for now. I’m working on being grateful for all I can right now. I feel angry and don’t want the anger to take over my attitude/spirit. My dad and I were talking and I said one of the reasons I can think of that this happened was because whatever is looming my mom wouldn’t be able to handle. Dad told me instead of thinking of what else is to come, think about how mom has now found peace. So this is what I am trying to do… maybe it will help with the healing…