Some years ago, when I first adopted Simon, I REFUSED to call myself a cat lady. In fact, I would be kind of insulted when others would joke about it. I kept thinking this title would turn potential suitors away. Well, maybe it does/did but I have dated since I got Simon so I am guessing the joke is on them because I AM a cat lady!
Anyway, in the spirit of keeping my posts lighthearted this week (for all of our sake’s) I wanted to take a few minutes and explain how you know when you have crossed to the dark side and officially become a “Crazy Cat Lady”
1. You create a photo-collage of your cat and post it on the internet – yep, did this. I didn’t really think much about it until I started composing this post and I realized, “whoa, Aim – deep end of crazy cat lady!”
2. You tell your friends you can’t go out that night because you need to spend time with your cat – yes, this happens. Simon gets lonely and really likes hanging out with me. He likes attention and doesn’t like spending mad amounts of time on his own. The hermit in me happy obliges!
3. You talk baby-talk to your cat and then start to use this same voice/words to your friends and family – ummm… yeah… this started happening this summer. I don’t know why! I am trying REALLY hard to stop doing this as I definitely think this could ward off the mens!
4. You openly admit you “spoon” with your cat – Simon is an expert level spooner! Seriously, I have said this for some time and I am not sure if a dude could do much better. He doesn’t even mind being the big spoon.
5. You say something like the following: “My relationship with my cat is the longest relationship I’ve had with a male.” Probably shouldn’t be too proud of this one but it’s the truth
6. You sign your cat’s name on your Christmas cards – I don’t do this on all of them but if the recipients have pets then I put Simon’s name on them too. I think he appreciates being acknowledged.
7. When you think about the individuals who know you best, you include your cat – Yes. He does.
8. While deep down your know your cat isn’t your son/daughter, you feel an affinity that is very similar to what you think you will feel for your child – Since I am currently child-less, I am not sure how I will feel towards my off-spring (I’m guessing fairly loving) but as of now, Simon gets all this love. Lucky duck!
9. You hang a stocking for your cat
10. You get offended when someone says something disparaging about your cat – I recognize many people claim to “not be a cat person”. While I do find it odd to cut a whole species out of your life, to each their own. But my cat is my buddy. He has stuck by me through some rough times (yes, I do realize he didn’t have much of a choice but STILL, he was there) and doesn’t care if I have showered, if I have been crying or if I am super sweaty from a run. He doesn’t care when I am ranting and raving about something stupid and always forgives me when I accidentally step on his tail. He loves me. So please don’t say mean things about him in front of me. Most of the time people are teasing me, which is totally cool but sometimes the spirit of said teasing is a bit rough.
11. When your cat has a meltdown, you have an equal degree of freaking out – When Simon and I moved this summer, he was not pleased. He had a mega meltdown and I followed suit. The first night we got there, I stayed up with him until 4 am.
12.. You post things like this on pinterest
and you have a cat shirt to wear on Halloween… that you have worn in public
13. You allow your cat to make all of your decisions for you – I tried this for a few weeks one summer. I asked Simon if he wanted me to move, I told him to roll over for “yes” or stay put for “no”. He stayed. And so did I. The decision-making thing last for a couple of weeks!
That all being said, here are the areas I draw the line: *I don’t introduce my cat on my voicemail. *I don’t let my cat lick the water from my feet after I step out of the shower. *I’m not a real big fan of Simon licking me in general – especially my face. Not for me. *Simon is not allowed under the covers on my bed. *I do in fact, know Simon is an animal (but he is FREAKIN’ ADORABLE!). *I don’t force Simon on anyone – you certainly don’t have to entertain him or pet him when you are over. *I really do try to alleviate the cat hair from the surfaces of my home.
So there you have it – this is not an exhaustive list as to what makes someone a crazy cat lady by any means. Men can be crazy cat ladies too (well, you know what I mean). This is not a gender-specific description. I do think it’s odd how many people who own dogs do all of the above and don’t endure any kind of moniker that questions their mental state. Nevertheless, I have embraced my crazy cat lady-ness. I adore my little friend and have become a better person because I have cared for him. So, if that is the result of being a crazy cat lady then so be it!