Yesterday was one of those days where I was feeling both restless and lazy at the same time. I WANTED to get up and do something! But I wanted to lay on the couch and watch TV as well!
Part of it is I’m stuck in the “sickness cycle”. Running myself into the ground and then attempting to keep on going has done a number on my immune system. Now I’ve got a bit of a cold but honestly, this is just an excuse. I’ve got some business to attend to and I’m procrastinating!
*Edited: I did get up and run last night! Yay! More on this tomorrow but I was pleased as punch to make at least THAT happen!
I never posted my goals for August but I do have some. Here we go!
1. Make it through this month!
Yep, a lofty goal! I’m both anxious for the month to be over and for it to never end (wow – I’m incredibly wishy-washy right now). When it ends it means school is back in session and the tykes are all back. However, if it doesn’t end it’s simply a bunch of 10-12 hour days and pure exhaustion. I know I’ll make it through – I have for the last several years but it never seems possible while I’m in it.
2. More consistent with training
I’ll do approximately 3 days of training in one day and then not train again until the next 3 day maniac session. Right now the mileage isn’t terribly high so it’s possible but in a couple of weeks this won’t be the case. Not to mention, what is one of the top 10 rules of running? CONSISTENCY! (oh wait – haven’t I written about this every freaking month?!) I’m being lame and I know it. I get frustrated when I see people wasting their talents yet I’m doing the same thing. Boo!
Weird thing – I’ve gone to bed a few times this month pretty early already. Let’s see, there have been two 9:30’s and lots of 10:30’s. Yep, it’s like I’m 11 years old, except even back then I never went to bed that early. Nevertheless, this has been helpful. I’m surprised that I feel better going to bed earlier then I do when I sleep in later. Why is this? No, seriously, I’m curious – why is this? I’m still waking up 2-3 times a night either from nightmares or just really complicated dreams – stress dreams of course. It’s still worth it to sleep early though.
4. Cut down on the caffeine (hmm – maybe related to the above?)
I’ve started going back to the 2 a day coffee habit. Not only is this an extra 100 calories that doesn’t quite fit into my “budget” (calorie budget) but I have tried to stay away from this. However, it does make me much more productive during the afternoons/early evenings. What’s a person to do?
5. Continue to work on my anxiety
Believe it or not, I am making progress in this area. One of my co-workers recently got promoted to the same position I am in at work. He is a funny and positive person. He can take things in stride but then brush them off – sound like the opposite of anyone you know?! Funny thing, it has started to rub off on me! I’m paying attention and learning! But I also don’t want to keep talking about my anxiety with him since I don’t want him to feel obligated to try to “fix” me. This isn’t his job and I want to be the one who learns to manage it better. I know – running more would help and in turn managing it would help with the creepy dream issue. Knowing this and accomplishing it doesn’t make it happen. I’ve been reading about some supplements which have helped others – some complex B vitamins and magnesium. Off to the natural store I go!
Five seems like a good number of goals to concentrate on for the month. The good thing is most of these are about changing current habits into more productive ones (I mentioned this before, I’m sure of it). I had a neurologist appointment on Wednesday morning. I told her how 3 years ago when my epilepsy got more complicated coincided with my anxiety becoming more prominent. She explained these feed into each other and most likely made one another worse. When I mentioned how my mom had anxiety as well she said it is also a learned behavior – it was how I learned to process complications and life in general. She certainly didn’t discount that a portion of it is how my brain is hotwired but did give some suggestions and names of cognitive counselors who can help train my brain to process stress/anxiety differently. Nifty eh? It’s worth looking into!
OH! One thing I’ve been proud of? This week I’ve been a hydrating fiend! I started because of my sicky self but now I’m getting more and more used to and my body needs it. I’m not doing a great job of explaining this! I’ve been drinking approximately 4 water bottles (96 oz or so) a day! And this doesn’t even include the other business I drink during the day. Yay – progress!