please provide advice…

On Tuesday, I had plans with friends to see another friend’s apartment.  It was so wonderful to see her and it was great to see a real life adult apartment!  Don’t get me wrong, I see myself as an adult (sort of) but she has a washer/dryer AND a dishwasher.  This just screams “I’m all grown up!”.

We were all driving together and I had a very slim running window.  It worked out considering I needed to do speed work.  I only had time for 2.5 miles and I pushed it for those 2.5.  Better than nothing, I guess.

By the way, whenever I read about runners learning to “turn their feet over faster” I understood but I didn’t know how to do this.  As I’m doing more speed work I’m learning what this means and I can feel it happening.  It’s weird though because I used to run this fast all of the time and I don’t remember it feeling this tough!  What I do remember is simply taking longer strides when I wanted to go faster.  Lately, I’m concentrating on form (taking more/shorter steps) during the faster miles since these longer steps really aggravate my hip.  Sometimes running feels way more complicated than it should!

***transition!***  For the last two weeks, I’ve been feeling out of sorts.  Some of it is certain areas of my life are not progressing the way I would like and then some body issues have been getting in the way.  None of my clothes feel like they are fitting very well and I just don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.  Unless I’m wearing sweatpants – then I feel much better.  The body issues are really bugging me.  I want to feel strong and confident as opposed to self-conscious.  Get this – two days I ago, I put on a pair of jeans.  They were certainly tight but I zipped/buttoned and I could have worn them.  Today?  Nope, I could barely get them over my bum and no way were they going to button.  WTF?

It’s moments like this that throw me overboard.  I understand the concept of hormonal fluctuations and my body seems prone to this phenomenon.  I also haven’t slept well the last three nights.  However, SERIOUSLY?!  I am so irked.  Not to mention, I am not sure how to get a handle on it.  It’s having an effect on me and I feel kind of ashamed for saying it.  Nevertheless, I still went out shopping yesterday.  I’m headed to a conference this weekend and there’s a hot tub.  A bathing suit.  Ugh.

hmm… I should have started the trip like this

There weren’t a ton of options and thankfully, I found one that looked decent.  Considering it wasn’t the most horrific experience like I expected made me feel a bit better.  I also found two cute dresses and a couple of shirts, all of which can be worn during any season (my new goal when I purchase clothing).  It does help me realize my perceptions of my body are much worse than the actual reality.  But the jeans incident (I tried them on right after I got home from Old Navy) kind of threw those good feelings out of the window.

Again, I hate feeling this way and I’m guessing anyone who has experienced body issues doesn’t like it either.  I’ve attempted to adopt several healthy attitudes towards these issues; acceptance – “I love my curves!”, progressive, “I’m not unhappy and want to keep working!”, determined “I’m going to overhaul everything!” and then just giving up “who cares?!”.  None of these are hitting home though… I realize since I’m feeling dissatisfied in general right now, my body is automatically a victim of my nasty internal monologue.  So how do I stop?!

Please feel free to drop some advice on me!  I need it!


7 thoughts on “please provide advice…

  1. Hi! Hopefully my advice can help. As a woman, I feel everyone of us goes through this. I have spent countless times sitting on the floor crying because my pants didn’t fit anymore or I was just feeling very fat and didn’t love myself. I started my fitness journey a few years back and it has taken me along to accept my self and learn to love myself. This journey was also a soul searching journey for me. I still have my downs but I do not cry anymore…ever. I have come to the realization that food can be your enemy or your friend. I have played with my diet and really have grown obsessed with nutrition and how food plays a huge role in how we feel. My advice to you is to look at your diet and maybe make healthier choices, this could be something to help you. I know with myself, on e I start feeling a lil blah and not too happy I swttch my macros around, it’s my body trying to tell me something.

    • This advice DOES help! I get in a rut with food and I need to rethink what I’m putting in my mouth. After reading this I cut out my coffee protein shake and sure enough, I felt better in a few days! Thank you! And thank you for sharing some of your journey as well!

  2. Hi! Your dilemma resonated with me because I’m going through a similar bout with body dissatisfaction. I’ve considered myself to have an “average” degree of dislike for my body – one that, unfortunately, most girls grow up with. However, nearly two years ago, I lost 50lbs through diet and a running regimen. I was VERY focused and dedicated to both and for the most part, I’ve been able to maintain my weight loss. In Dec. I moved to a different state and am having a tough time getting into running, mostly because I’m 10,000ft above sea level and it’s a hell of a lot harder to get run in high altitude. So basically, I’ve not been running and I’ve not been adhering to “healthy” eating. My pants have been tight! All of them! It’s really scared me recently because my favorite pair of pants were loose and comfy but now I’m noticing a muffin top when I put them on.

    So what am I doing about it? I’m just getting out there and running again…even if I can only pump out 2 miles. It’s discouraging at times because I’m exhausted much faster (constantly running uphill and learning to breathe with less oxygen). I keep comparing myself to running at sea level where I’d go 6-8 miles 4-5 days per week. I have to stop comparing and just work my way up. I’m thinking your weight gain (if any) isn’t noticeable to anybody but you. However, if it’s making you uncomfortable, go with your progressive attitude and change it if your don’t like it! I’m sure you’re lovely just as you are now, but if your clothes are fitting tight, I can totally see why you’d want to not let that get out of control. (That’s how I gained that extra 50lbs…I let my clothes go from tight to buying bigger and bigger). Anyway good luck with running. It’s wonderful in so many ways!

    • Thank you for the kind compliments! It is tough to jump back in and I can only imagine trying to do it so far above sea-level! Great scott! Kudos! This is great advice and I’m taking it to heart!

  3. Great realization about foot turnover ! It’s absolutely the secret to speed and less injury. I also discovered this just about a year ago, and it feels fantastic doesn’t it ? :)
    My advice for the rest of the post–don’t beat yourself up about it ! I know it’s very difficult to stay positive and chipper all the time, but the power of positive thinking is so much stronger than people realize. Don’t forget all the hard work you’ve done and everything you’ve worked towards. Fitting in that speed work is awesome in itself–most people would just make an excuse ! Drinking plenty of water throughout the day is always something that helps me, but also remember that your health is not measured by the size of a pair of jeans. You’re working hard and it always pays off ! Keep it up and best of luck !

    • It does feel fantastic! It’s such a strange realization because it seems like an easy concept but getting my feet to cooperate is a whole other story! Thank you for the advice and pep talk – it’s much appreciated!

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