This weekend offered up a gut check… well a few of them. It was a good thing.
Gut check #1: Thanks for the words of encouragement with regards to run camp! Those were all words I needed to hear. Other friends also weighed in and there wasn’t one person who said I should simply train on my own. Fairly certain this is a positive sign.
Result: I signed up. I’m still nervous.
Gut check #2: I talked with Meagan about run camp and FINALLY admitted one of the main reasons I was holding back. “What if I do all of this training and go all in and I STILL don’t achieve my goal?” Meagan: “I don’t think that will happen but if it does then you are a really good 5 hour marathoner”.
Result: Oh yeah, good point. So I signed up – yep, I need to keep reminding myself of this!
Gut check #3: I ran a half on Saturday with Meagan. It was very difficult for me. I almost had a DNF on my record simply because I was so exhausted and not ready to run 13.1. I’ll have the recap up soon.
Result: I need to STOP doing this to my body. And my confidence. I’m pretty certain I left part of my left patella on the course, not to mention the whole wanting to quit after 5 miles. I am setting myself up for failure and some serious injury by pulling these shenanigans. Enough is enough.
Gut check #4: One more reason I didn’t want to do run camp… the whole social anxiety piece of it. I don’t currently know anyone else doing it and this freaks me out a bit.
Result: I’ve become a bit of a hermit and I need to put myself out there a bit more. Yes, I will probably have some minor panic attacks without someone I know right there with me but we WILL all have running in common. And I can meet people – they will probably like me, right? So, in case you missed it the first two times, I signed up.
Gut checking – check. 20 days until my next and last 1/2 of the summer. It won’t be breeze but I will have more training under my belt and a better attitude. Not to mention I’ll be running in one of the most beautiful places around – not to shabby!