gut check

This weekend offered up a gut check… well a few of them.  It was a good thing.

Gut check #1:  Thanks for the words of encouragement with regards to run camp!  Those were all words I needed to hear.  Other friends also weighed in and there wasn’t one person who said I should simply train on my own.  Fairly certain this is a positive sign.

Result:  I signed up.  I’m still nervous.

suck it up buttercup

Gut check #2:  I talked with Meagan about run camp and FINALLY admitted one of the main reasons I was holding back.  “What if I do all of this training and go all in and I STILL don’t achieve my goal?”  Meagan:  “I don’t think that will happen but if it does then you are a really good 5 hour marathoner”.

Result:  Oh yeah, good point.  So I signed up – yep, I need to keep reminding myself of this!

Gut check #3:  I ran a half on Saturday with Meagan.  It was very difficult for me.  I almost had a DNF on my record simply because I was so exhausted and not ready to run 13.1.  I’ll have the recap up soon.


Result:  I need to STOP doing this to my body.  And my confidence.  I’m pretty certain I left part of my left patella on the course, not to mention the whole wanting to quit after 5 miles.  I am setting myself up for failure and some serious injury by pulling these shenanigans.  Enough is enough.

Gut check #4:  One more reason I didn’t want to do run camp… the whole social anxiety piece of it.  I don’t currently know anyone else doing it and this freaks me out a bit.

Result:  I’ve become a bit of a hermit and I need to put myself out there a bit more.  Yes, I will probably have some minor panic attacks without someone I know right there with me but we WILL all have running in common.  And I can meet people – they will probably like me, right?  So, in case you missed it the first two times, I signed up.

this hits a bit close to home

Gut checking – check.  20 days until my next and last 1/2 of the summer.  It won’t be breeze but I will have more training under my belt and a better attitude.  Not to mention I’ll be running in one of the most beautiful places around – not to shabby!

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