a juicy meltdown

1 Jul

I had a post all written for yesterday that included talking about how I often have “delayed long run hunger”.  This is just what it sounds like – I’m typically not terribly hungry the day after a longer run but the day after that?  Oh baby!  I am one starvin’ marvin.  So, yeah, that post is hanging out in my drafts.

Why?  Because yesterday  I felt ill.  I had a dizzy spell in the morning and forgot that these can make me feel really nauseous.  I went into work and hung in there until noon and then I went home.  I was donezo.  Now, as I was laying on my couch, I need to be honest, I didn’t want ANY MORE DAMN JUICE.  Seriously.  I was over it.

What did I want?  I don’t even know.  Actually, when I was feeling really sick I wanted some eggs and toast.  That sounded the best.  Instead. I made a juice and it wasn’t bad but it didn’t squash (ha! a food pun for the win!) the feeling that I wanted to eat.  I wasn’t hungry.  Nope… simply feeling very emotional.

One of the blog posts I read about a woman juicing said she had a day when it all seemed like too much.  When I read it, I thought this was silly and couldn’t imagine a time when I would be crying because of the cleanse.  It didn’t make any sense to me.  But I am here to tell you folks, it’s true.  I desperately wanted to comfort feed these emotions because in my mind, whatever food was calling to me (Chipotle if you are wondering) would CERTAINLY make me feel better!  Or maybe even pizza?  What about a sandwich or some fries?

See where I am going with this?  I needed an intervention, stat.  I texted office mate and asked him to assure me that siren’s call to emotionally eat were all lies.  He obliged:

textThankfully this helped calm me from the crap-eating ledge.  I know it sounds silly and now I am making light of it a bit but it was real.  I was crying.  I was also immersed in movies surrounding the theme of “hey we are in our 30’s and our lives are f-ed up!” – not my best choice.  When I talked with office mate today he said it’s all part of it and that he went through it some time in the middle as well.  Again… reassuring that I’m not a lunatic and a juicing meltdown is totally normal.

thanks honey boo boo

The other negative part was I decided to weigh myself yesterday.  I wore a dress earlier in the day and someone took a picture.  I didn’t quite look as svelte as I originally thought – surely the scale won’t lie?!  Well, that was a mistake.  The weight loss wasn’t any different from the first week.  “Why am I even doing this?!” ran rampant through my mind, also fueling the meltdown.  It’s suggested not to weigh in because the weight is going to fluctuate so much.  Sure enough, this morning I was three pounds lighter than I was yesterday.

So, I am still juicing.  It was a close call.  I think the third week is like mile 18 or 20 of a marathon.  Or mile 7 or 8 of a half.  I feel I am so close to finishing but it is going to take so much more  freakin’ effort to get there.  I told myself, “you only have one more Monday after this,” it helped.  Onward juicing soldiers…

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