me = ass

So there were two different posts rattling around in my brain.  I decided to go right ahead with the ol’ karma hates me post.  I think it’s been a couple of weeks since I last wrote one of these.  Seriously, doesn’t it seem like some individuals totally get bypassed by her?  Well, don’t you worry, I’m one of the chosen ones.  If being visited by karma, never feel alone – I’m positive I am right there with you.

I’m sure this is what karma looks like

Now, I should first admit a couple of things.  I’m an ass.  Not all of the time, but this week I was.  I didn’t even really mean to be said ass but it happened.  I made some pretty decent mistakes & instead of karma allowing me to slink off into a corner to lick my wounds I got an audience.

no wait! I want to be put in a corner!

Me = Ass:  One major work error where all of my higher up bosses got to be privy to my mistake. One personal mistake, which while may not have the biggest audience, makes me feel worse than the work one did.  And then there were the smaller work & personal ass-ish things that came into play off and on all week.  So, I’m not saying that I don’t deserve karma’s attention but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish she would lose my digits.  Pretty please?!
While I was all retail-therapying it up in Target yesterday (you see, I already hit Yankee Candle and Old Navy online earlier in the week), I realized I have to learn to simply brush the shit away.  It’s true.  I promise you, I’m going to think about how I messed up – how I misread ppl & how I could’ve/should’ve done just a few minor things differently & this whole week would have been different.  Even though what’s ailing me at the moment isn’t actual shit (they are important things), I can’t change what happened.  My proclivity toward rehashing my mistakes & rehashing & then rehashing them again, sure isn’t changing the situations.  Those are said and done.  I’m great at accepting responsibility mind you, rather I need to work on the whole concept of damage control (not target) & then moving on.  I don’t have much confidence in my ability to do this at this moment…

I will admit, I made a rookie mistake & went against my cardinal rule of “never say it can’t get any worse”.  Last week I lamented about what a doozy of a week it was and while I don’t think I actually said it I sure as hell implied it.  The universe spoke up with a rousing rendition of “OH YEAH?!”  A challenging week has ensued & my only hope for the rest of these days are some personal victories – ones that have eluded me so far: only drinking one coffee per day, not scavenging for chocolate in the mid-afternoon when I’m clutching at my sanity for dear life, crossing all of my I’s & T’s (um-apparently i’s need crossing now), not oversleeping & not letting the !#*%^ tears fall.  Or maybe if I accomplished even a couple of these it could at least be considered a draw.
It’s not really a weekend in my working world but I hope for those of you who are weekending, that it’s a good one – maybe a nap?  Maybe some holiday shopping?  Maybe hanging out with friends and family?  I will leave you with a song that I am currently OBSESSED with despite the strange video.  It kind of fits my mood right now.

Later alleges toe (<— I tried to write later alligators and this came up instead.  I like it)

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