salmon, peanuts and a cupcake

I’m still on the DL with regards to anything active.  I am trying to walk around as much as possible during the day.  My job isn’t exactly activity central so it varies between 1-2 miles a day.  At least it’s something?  I am noticing a decline in my mood (crabby-cakes to the max) and suddenly it seems my hips are bigger than they were yesterday.  I swear, I’m not delusional.

Due to this, I’ve been working on keeping some of my food in check – at least I was until the other night when I went on a bit of a binge-fest.  First, this kinda yummy cupcake.  It wasn’t fantastic and typically with a treat, if it isn’t really good I don’t finish it because I don’t want to waste the calories.  HOWEVER, I’ve been craving a cupcake since I first gave up gluten (5ish months now) so I was pumped for this.

eh - not really worth it
eh – not really worth it

I ate the whole thing but won’t buy it again.

Then I decided I needed to cut the sweetness with some salty peanuts.  I can’t stop with the peanuts when they are in a giant bag in front of me.  So, I just kept eating them until I was uncomfortably full.  I did have salmon and green beans for dinner so it wasn’t a total loss but a waste of a day of healthy eating.  I know it happens but usually I can counteract it with some extra activity.  Now, I simply feel like a slug.

I did get the results of my foot mapping from Dr. Chiro.  Here are my feets:

my feetsRed zones are where I carry all of the pressure when I walk.  Apparently, I’m supposed to have an arch on either side.  Funny enough, I’ve always thought I had LOVELY arches – little did I know they were sabotaging little buggers!  Truthfully, Dr. Chiro was impressed with my inner arch (well, at least this was how I interpreted his comment of “wow – you have really high arches) but then said I had major flat feet on the outside.  Weird is all I have to say about this.  I wouldn’t really give it too much mind, however, I want to fix my blasted right ankle and arch and inserts will really help.  Fingers crossed they will be covered by insurance.

a scan of balanced feet... hmm... mine looks sorta different
a scan of balanced feet… hmm… mine look sorta different

If not, I’ll fork over the dough because you know, these are my feet (which, funny enough, are connected to the rest of my body – whaa?!).  I kind of want them to stick around and be all youthful like.  I’ve got more miles left in me with regards to running and simply walking around comfortably.  Not to mention, unless I purchase stock in RockTape, it could be time for a different kind of intervention.

I mentioned some salmon above and here is the recipe.

look at this beautiful creation!
look at this beautiful creation!

It was very tasty!  Cooking fish makes me a bit weary as I imagine tiny parasites are just waiting to be undercooked – I imagine my innards look like some prime real estate.  I had to exclude many of the seasonings and it was still good.  I’ve been eating on this hunk for four days.

Next up, before I found the Udis blueberry muffins, I tried to make one on my own.  I followed the instructions for a single serve but should have cooked it longer than suggested for a more muffin-like texture.  As it was, it was more of a blueberry oatmeal bake.  Still decent but not what I was anticipating/desiring.

that's some coconut spread on top - not needed as it was good enough on its own.
that’s some coconut spread on top – not needed as it was good enough on its own.

I’m really excited for my next two culinary adventures.
1.  Jicama fries.  I like the word “jicama” and I like fries.  Could be a match made in heaven.
2.  Cottage Pie.  I read Mommy Isn’t Here Right Now – we ran a Ragnar together and this is how we met.  She follows a paleo diet fairly closely and I’ve seen pictures of her cottage pie a few times.  My mouth waters a bit each time.  Onward to Pinterest!  I found this recipe, which has bacon(!!) in it along with a butternut squash layer on top.  I think it sounds amazing.  I’m going to add a few more veggies to the mix and I’m looking forward to what I hope is some deliciousness.

I’ve also been throwing back the blueberries, purchased some oranges and of course inhaling bananas.  Again, aiming for some balance in my meals.  Last night, I needed to finish up some leftovers so it was a sausage along with the rest of the salmon.  It was a meaty-themed meal.  Although an orange was added later on – I’ve got this balance down to a science.

proud of this self

All too often I catch myself thinking of the “failures” in my life.  Maybe it was how I didn’t train enough, or didn’t do as well with a work project or haven’t done a load of laundry in about 3 weeks (this is no joke-it’s scary up in this apt!).

So today I am going to write on the items I currently pride myself on.  Once again, a list – I think I love these things!

I'm slightly obsessed with these
I’m slightly obsessed with these, too

1.  I’ve stuck with my gluten-free lifestyle.  I could be a bit overly concerned with it, although I’m guessing this is necessary in the beginning of any big change.  I de-glutened my cupboards on Sunday and found I tend to hoard food along with items.  It was a good lesson for me.  Again, I don’t think gluten isn’t going end society as we know it but it doesn’t work for my body.

2.  I’ve stayed strong in the face of a PLATTER of delicious cookies, carrot cake with loads of cream cheese frosting and naturally, my favorite brownies with frosting in the cafeteria.  Please know, it’s not the sugar I’m worried about.  I was having a convo with a co-worker and she said, “well, a little bit of gluten won’t hurt, you probably don’t need to worry about it”.  But this is a deep and twisty rabbit hole I’m not willing to jump into.

I ate pie instead

3.  SO MANY RACE EMAILS!  Goodness, they just keep coming, “join us!”.  And I really want to, honest but I know racing isn’t good for me right now.  Heck, running is barely right for me.  My stomach doesn’t approve of the jostling – at least in the beginning.  I can’t tell if it would calm down after a few miles since I haven’t made it past 1.5.  Oh well, I haven’t signed up – I’ve stayed strong.

4.  I’ve stayed very focused at work.  Every night this past week was a late night in my work world.  It wasn’t pleasant and by last night I was exhausted.  Nevertheless, I met deadlines, performed well in an important meeting, and accomplished a to-do list that never stopped growing.  I’m a firm believer in a healthy work-life balance and I am the guardian of my own time.  However, my work days were packed to the gills and work-life balance sometimes must be heavy on the work side of things.  Accepting it is just as important.  I gotter done real good this week and last.

5.  I made turkey pot pie from scratch!  It was a TON of work but I am so impressed with myself.  The recipe called for a bit too much thyme so just a note to self for next time.  Yep, I even crafted my own pie crust – for both this and my pumpkin pie.  And just let me say, not only was my pot pie very good but it was beautiful!

in a heat shaped pan no less
in a heat shaped pan no less

6.  It was an ugly sickness week.  Stomach and hormones combined is a nasty and painful result.  Again, I didn’t let it beat me emotionally or physically.  Oh I spent  some time on my couch but not a one sick day.  Progress.

simon is a perfect sickness partner
simon is a perfect sickness partner

7.  I haven’t given into my own personal sugar monster!  I’ve indulged – I don’t think abstaining is the right choice for me but I don’t need it.

These are all related and each one took some effort to accomplish.  It’s easy for me to push something off until the next day… and then the day after that.  Retraining habits man, it’s no easy feat.  I appreciate this and am damn proud of myself!

juice me – the perks

Here are the perks!

*Some of the juice recipes are really good!  There is an app for the program so it’s fairly easy.  It costs $15.00 and it’s essentially a recipe book of juice drinks.  Even when this is over, I will utilize it.  Also, there are coaching videos and explanations of why I’m doing what I’m doing.

*I was certain this whole thing was going to cost me a chunk of change.  There were some start-up costs, a masticating juicer ($150), some hemp protein powder ($13) and fruits and veggies.  I purchased a few other items at the grocery store when I bought the fruits and veggies so in my mind it felt like this was spendy.  WAIT!  I went out to buy the fruits and veggies for the next 5 days or so and it was $30.  Whaaat?  Yeah, so it’s not as expensive as I anticipated.

*I like to think I’m practically main lining vitamins.  Scary enough, I’m getting more veggies and fruits in a single day than I got in a week prior to beginning this program.  By a long shot.

*I’ve figured out a much better system of making drinks by making my breakfast blend the night before.  The lunch and snack blends are the same so I can make these at the same time as well.  I’m seriously considering making both the breakfast and dinner blends at the same time the night before since these are typically the same as well.  I made two to take with me this past weekend and drank one on Saturday and one on Sunday – they both lasted.

*I lost 6 lbs last week.  I’m not supposed to weigh myself but let’s face it, I needed the motivation.  Yes, I know it’s water weight but it’s keeping me going.

*I’m compromising the plan to fit my needs a little bit.  I’m finding ways to incorporate coffee into my mornings.  I went without it the first day and the next day it felt like my skull was separating from my brain.  I’ll let you know if any of my “recipes” turn out decent.  So far it’s been trial and error and I’ve resorted to McDonald’s more than I’d like to admit.

*There are a few food extras you can take advantage of, although you aren’t supposed to make it a regular thing.  Well, as you can probably guess, I have.  I’ve kept in a Kind bar and sometimes replaced a mid-afternoon blend with this.  I think I’m missing the point a bit…

*Now, you may think I’m exaggerating or maybe you might think it’s a placebo effect BUT I’ve felt a small decrease in my anxiety and tummy troubles.  I didn’t go into this thinking it would help the anxiety piece and it didn’t dawn on me until Friday while I was driving up to my race.  I looked back at my week at work and realized it had been a good week.  Sure, there were times when I got anxious about a big project happening this week but overall I didn’t feel that strong pull of agitation that gets me all worked up.  I’m REALLY hoping this IS a reality as maybe it will help with some of my social angst too.

Truth be told, it IS harder than I anticipated.  I’ve come to the conclusion that office mate’s version of “not too bad” is on a different spectrum than mine.  It’s probably better I didn’t realize this before I started as I would have chickened out for sure.  As it was, my mind flip-flopped dozens of times.

I asked office mate what happens when the 28 days are over – what is the transition?  He told me he hasn’t watched that video yet as it doesn’t show up until the week 4 coaching video.  He is a determined and disciplined bloke so he is following the “rules”.  The Jason Vale program, Super Juice Me! has a 7 day detox along with a 14 day one.  Then the heavyweight champ, the 28 day cleanse.

I will continue to write about this off and on – I searched for blogs about juicing but didn’t find many.  Maybe I need to try find different key words.  I’m certainly open to questions or any experiences others have had!  I’m really happy I decided to give this a shot.  It’s been worth it!

 

juice me

I briefly mentioned in my race recap that I’ve started a juice cleanse.  It’s been 10 days and the plan is 28 days long.  I’m working on not thinking that far ahead because even though I’ve reached double digit days, it’s still daunting.

it’s just my mind that isn’t!

The back story:  About a month ago, office mate told me he watched a documentary on this guy, Jason Vale and his program Super Juice Me, who took 8(ish) people to his retreat center and many of their ailments and/or weight issues improved.  Office mate said he thought of me with regards to some of my health concerns and that maybe juicing could help.  Then he told me he started the juice cleanse.  I was skeptical – it wasn’t that I doubted office mate but it seemed kind of far-fetched.  I often question juice cleanses and detoxes of various kinds because I feel like they are sold/touted as this amazing solution when in reality it’s short term.  Once it’s over, the weight or regular habits that brought on the toxins or whatever, resumes.

After 10 days I could start to see physical changes in office mate.  I asked him if he had weighed himself and he said he wasn’t planning on it until the end – killjoy.  Another few days later and others started to chime in on the physical changes.  Office mate explained he felt really good, had a lot of energy and it wasn’t as tough as he thought it would be.  I peppered him with questions the first week and then I ordered a juicer.  A week later I started my own juice cleanse.

The tough piece:

*I do miss food.  But in some ways, I miss the idea of food along with the convenience of a sandwich or yogurt.

I kind of miss chewing

*I get tired of juice.  A better way to explain it is, by the end of the day I feel like I’ve had a lot of liquids.  Because I have.

*I’m fairly lazy when it comes to cooking hence the appeal of the sandwich or yogurt ease.  Juicing isn’t hard by any means but there is prep.  Washing the fruits and veggies, cutting some of it and then washing the juicer pieces and blender.  If you have a dishwasher than your life is much easier.  Heck if I just had a garbage disposal life would be MUCH easier.

*The first week I had a lot of headaches and I was EXHAUSTED.  I’m pretty sure this was simply first week changes/detoxing but I didn’t watch the first week video so this is just a guess —> see?  I’m lazy.

*Ginger is part of many recipes and after trying to choke down a drink with it in it, I confirmed my hatred for the root.  Aside for a glass of Canada Dry every once in a while, there is no room for ginger in my beverages.

*I’ve run into a few road blocks – either I missed a couple of ingredients, or felt time crunched and didn’t make a blend.  Then I would skip those, which isn’t advisable.  This week I’m going to really focus on drinking all of them… after I go to the grocery store one more time.

*There is an element of feeling left out.  I’ve been lucky because office mate can offer some advice or whatnot and now there are a couple of others in the office who are thinking about it.  But the I did end up missing a dear friend’s birthday party because my system was still getting used to being bombarded by goodness and I was quitting food cold turkey.  My body missed my processed carbs!

Okay, this is getting long so I’m done for now.  I want to emphasize there ARE good pieces to this and I will highlight these tomorrow!  If there weren’t I absolutely wouldn’t still be doing it as I certainly like food a lot.  Not to mention, aside from running, I don’t voluntarily endure things I don’t like.  So, I would have junked this plan if I didn’t recognize and feel the positive changes.  More to come!

I promise there is a silver lining!

 

so you want to run, eh? ha! nope

My body mocked me last week with regards to my intentions to run.  I’m fairly certain I could hear its “I’ll show you” day after day.  Needless to say, I didn’t prove it wrong.

Do others get all jacked up with the time change?  I think I am finally starting to feel more alert today and that’s probably because I already took a nap.  I will say, my exhaustion last week was a perfect storm of time change, health, a crazy busy week at work (worked through lunches and late almost every night) and a total lack of determination on my part made running a far off concept.

at least I kept trying, yeah?

I think during these times, it’s important to just go easy on myself (or yourself).  Absolutely, there were times when I said some harsh words in my head about my dedication and abilities but then I realized this wasn’t helping either.  I need to chalk it up to a tough week and move into this week with a fresh attitude.  So this is what I am going to do.

I also made a pot of chili today using the same Wendy’s recipe I used before.  It’s really good and an easy meal for weeknights.  Last week, I had a peanut butter sandwich almost every night so it will be a nice change!  I keep reading more and more about meal planning.  I haven’t quite found a system that will work for me but I’m not giving up.  One of my friends has a family of five (one kiddie is 4 months old) and she feeds her family on $350 A MONTH! Whaaa?  And, she just bumped this up from $300.  Wow!  I saw her in the grocery store the other day and I asked her how she does it.  Meal planning.

my attempts at meal planning look a bit like this

Meal planning vexes me!  I also find it so impressive!  The good thing is, I can eat leftovers for days.  I have no problem eating the same thing (sometimes for both lunch and dinner).  It comes down to it being easy.  Hmm… I just realized this – the whole “whatever is easy” part.  This is a good foundation…  I think…

Alright, I’ve wasted your time enough today.  I want to go running today, really, I do.  I’ll see – my couch is like quicksand… a really comfy quicksand…

9:30 pm is a great bedtime

I am a night owl.  I have been my whole life.  Mornings are the pits.  Nevertheless, since starting school way back in the day, I’ve had to adhere to the standards of society and start the day before 10 am.  Ideally, I would sleep until 9:15 am and then hang out for a bit in my sweats with coffee.  Maybe in my next life?

Work has been exhausting this week!  Monday was hectic and I started training a new supervisee.  Tuesday I hosted a candidate, which meant being “on” all day/evening.  At one point, I thought to myself, “what am I even talking about?!”  I still have no idea – poor candidate.  Then yesterday, I was helping with an event involving over a 100 people all day, who had a ton of questions.  Oh and work into the evening as well.  Since getting older, I’ve gone from pure extrovert to borderline introvert.  That being said, it was tough having to be “on” for all of this time.

shoot… my hair isn’t long enough…

Hence my 9:30 pm bedtime on Tuesday.  Why haven’t I ever done this before?  I recognize there are benefits to going to bed early and even attempted to stick with a 11 pm bedtime in the recent months.  But it hasn’t exactly stuck.  I didn’t realize that even earlier could be better!  Who knows if I will keep this up but it’s worth a shot.

Unfortunately, due to my hectic schedule, I haven’ t run at all this week.  I’m hoping by the time I hit “publish” a run will have occurred – so can we all cross our fingers?  There hasn’t even been an opprotunity to run at lunch since a traditional lunch break either wasn’t available or I was entertaining guests.  This isn’t a normal week so I should stop whining… but I’m cold… and tired… and whiney…

OH!  Some healthy stuff!  I made my first smoothie this past weekend!  I love the idea of making a smoothie every morning for breakfast but so far this hasn’t happened in my lifetime.  Sunday I rounded up all of the ingredients and made a smoothie with strawberries, some oats, yogurt, almond milk, a banana and honey.  It was tasty!  Next time, I will blend the oats even more to make it less chunky but it was a yummy first attempt.

first smoothieI also found this blender cup, Fitlosophy Blender Bottle, (I got the 16 oz) at Target the other day.  I remembered on a whim I wanted to look for one and sure enough I found one on clearance.  It has one of those round whisk balls in it and today I gave it a shot with the Click powder.  Wowzers!  It worked so much better than I could ever have imagined!  It mixes it so well!  No slimy chunks at the bottom or that come up through the straw!  I also like that it’s now a one cup deal – any time I  can do less dishes is a happy time for me.  Over the last few days, I’ve found I only use a scoop and half of the powder and then a splash of chocolate/caramel creamer.  This was a good choice.

Despite the 7 inches of snow that fell in about 4 hours yesterday morning, I’m staying positive!  The weekend will be here soon, I will get a chance to run and on my walk to work yesterday morning I saw this!  A frozen little “heart”!  It brightened my morning.

frozen heart

my definition of a “carb” is probably wrong

Brrr!  The snow has hit!  It is chilly!  I have no idea why I haven’t turned my heat on in my apt – I hate sleeping in a warm room so maybe this is part of it?  Who knows but I think Simon is starting to get grumpy!

Monday morning I woke up late (even later than usual!) and I was heading out of my room and stepped on a vacuum attachment.  UGH!  It hurt!  And I tweaked my ankle a bit.  The only thing I could think of is if I couldn’t run anymore because I’m a slob I am going to be crabby pants!

this sorta fits… but is also too funny

Then I spilled coffee in my car – akk, liquid gold!  I know – I really do live a hard life.

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about how I was going to limit my intake of carbs.  I should clarify my definition of “carbs” –  bread/noodles/rice/whatever and starches.  My co-worker was giving me a hard time that I don’t know the proper definition.  Maybe not but this is what I am going with!  The first few days, I would have traded my pinky finger for a bowl of Frosted Blueberry Mini Wheats!  But as the days passed it got easier.  I didn’t drop carby goodness all together rather staying away from them for breakfast and lunch; dinner they are back on the table!

these lil’ buggers call to meeeee

Again, the first couple of days, I went really overboard at night.  I felt as though I was depriving myself and I just MISSED (mostly) bread.  The deprivation didn’t stick around and it got easier and easier.  I also found I don’t snack as much and I think my diet seems healthier.  I didn’t realize how much I depended on quick foods i.e. processed.

No more granola bars, breakfast bars, some snacky-type items or a lot of sandwiches (at least during lunch).  This is going fairly well, although there are times when I miss having these fast options.  I do realize these were empty calories especially considering they didn’t keep me full for very long.  Lunch is my hardest meal since I can’t quite figure out an easy/quick menu.  I also depend heavily on dairy.  Oh and eggs – I should own some chickens!  Habits are hard to break and I’m lazy when it comes to meal planning.  I do feel this is more of a lifestyle change so it’s still a work in progress.

my pie craving is reaching level 5 status. I fear for the pumpkin pie that is in my future!

Because there are so many types of meal plans out there, I needed to consider where I was going to fall – was I going to eat beans?  Fruit during the day?  Dairy or no dairy?  As I stated, I am keeping the dairy and I avoided my beloved bananas initially.  I missed having bananas for breaky so I knew I was going to bring this back.  I’ve been wishy-washy on beans (they are not paleo approved) but I want to keep these for dinner.

Are there any changes?  Actually I am not sure.  I do know I’m losing inches but considering I’m running as well I’m not sure which is a result of which.  My food choices are healthier  and I feel full longer.  I *think* I’m eating a little less sugar too but let’s not go overboard just yet!  This is not even close to an overnight process for me!

this is exactly how I feel

Any good ideas for lunches?  I think vegetarian would be good options but ones that don’t rely on breads, rice or noodles…

me like food – a possible nutrition plan

For the last few days I’ve felt fairly crummy.  My uterus has decided despite what the calendar says, it is going to cramp all the time anytime.  Monday, my brain/head started feeling all funny and seizurey.  This always worries me because well, you know, the seizure part.  I am still not sure of the cause but I came home and laid up on the couch.  And then of course Monday started the week.  Monday and I do not get along – it’s a mutual dislike.  (The fuzzy brain part is still under assessment although currently taking a few extra meds as prescribed by the doc)

I didn’t know what other pic to put here…

Meanwhile, running has been put on hold until I can move without feeling dizzy.  BUT I am looking into some new nutrition ideas.  To be honest, I am having troubles with counting calories.  I’m not really a fan.  I forget and then when I see that I only have a certain number left, I kind of freak out.  Then I start doing all of this mental math with what I can still eat and not go over.  Let’s face it, no one deserves mental math.

I don’t wanna

The thing is, my friend has had loads of success with counting!  I am a bit envious because this really clicks with him.  I wanted it to click with me too but it’s been a couple of months now and a) I haven’t been consistent and b) I’m not interested in doing it.  It also sucks because it’s only 1200 calories per day.  Then when I work out I eat those calories too so I am not seeing much of a deficit.  Oh and the mind games – who can forget these?!  ***My brother in law posted this post from Sophieology – it’s all about how 1200 is too low and a bunch of other good stuff!  I recommend it!

So, after reading a Sweat Once a Day post, Sweaty mentioned she was trying a high protein, low carb kind of deal.  Considering carbs and I are total besties I thought I would give this a shot; I like a challenge.  Monday, I kicked off the day without carbs!  What novel idea!  Apparently it works like the following: no carby goodness in the morning or afternoon – protein and veggies are on the plate.  For dinner carbs are welcome or some starch (be still my beating heart, POTATOES!) along with protein.

I’m not cutting out dairy, it wasn’t even an option and I also know there will be times when carbs pop up before dinner.  I also don’t have any idea if I will still be following this in a week from now but I like the idea of something a little different but not hugely drastic.  The theory behind it is I am teaching my body to use protein as an energy source rather than resorting to carbs.  Another perk?  My runger seems to be diminishing!  Okay, so it’s been four days but you know what I mean.  The downside?  I want some carby business during the day!  Haha, it’s crazy that I am actually craving it.

Counting calories are out but I am tracking what I am eating a bit – mostly for my own edification.  I want to be able to see what my “menu” has been.  I am not counting calories with this because I can’t do that much excel spreadsheet-like inputting.  It’s like in my head math – too much.

Ever heard of this style of eating?  Do you restrict carbs a.k.a. public enemy number 1?

feeed me seymor!

This was one of my mom’s favorite movies and we watched it all the time!  It’s the tale of the insatiable hunger of a plant who drank blood and ate people.  While I don’t do either (aren’t you happy to know this?) I understand the hunger issue right now.

“Train Gain”.  When I first heard/read about this phrase I couldn’t believe it!  I thought I was the only one who gained while training!  It was right after I finished my first 1/2 and I had gained about 5 lbs.  It was weird though because my clothes still fit (although I had more of a booty than before).  The weight had redistributed itself and I gained muscle for sure.

yep, I gots me a runner butt
yep, I gots me a runner butt

I will say there were a few of those pounds that were not muscle – ahem, my eating habits weren’t the best.  After the longer runs on the weekends I found the only thing that could fill me up were a burger and fries.  Or at least this is what I told myself as I hit Wendy’s on a weekly basis.

Last year while training I noticed the hunger every once in a while but I did a lousy job training so I don’t remember it being at the forefront.  This time around I am hungry.

please sir, I want some more

I did some reading and while I found people talking about being really hungry while training, I didn’t find a whole lot of “how to fix it”.  There was the normal, “running isn’t license to eat whatever you want, keep a food journal, and drink water”.  But I wanted more.

I also read an article from the New York Times that talked about how women’s bodies hold onto fat with a vice-like grip!  I’m sure all of you women know why – our bodies want to make sure we are ready for a bun in the oven AT ANY TIME!  Thanks a lot uterus, you sure know how to treat a woman right!

women are such lucky creatures

I need to figure out what works best for me – maybe it’s all personal?  I’ve come up with a few ideas:

1.  Drink more water (this one was provided).  One thing I read said I need to drink 3 liters of water a day.  Whoa.  This is a bit much for me so I am going to shoot for 2.

2.  I read something about eating smaller meals throughout the day.  Since this is pretty standard advice for losing weight, I didn’t pay much mind to it.  However, the more I thought about it the more I realized I am not necessarily hungrier than usual at meal time rather I get hungry faster.  Smaller meals would help with this and help me avoid eating EVERYTHING when an actual meal times come around.

3.  Go to bed earlier.  I think this one is kind of silly – or at least makes me feel as though I am 5 years old.  Come to think of it, I am not even sure I had a bed time back then… Anyway, going to bed earlier was one of my goals during the summer months and it has really helped in other areas of my life.  Being sleepy is also associated with weight gain and my favorite time to snack is in the evening.

4.  Why is it when there is all of this hunger inside me I don’t crave super duper healthy foods?!  Pizza, burgers, fries, grilled cheese sandwiches – the list goes on and on but salad isn’t one of them.

my craving for pie is out of this world right now

I’m thinking my eating habits could use some fine tuning.  At the very least, better balance my diet.  I ate some fruit yesterday – outside of my banana a day habit, that’s the only fruit I’ve had in a bit.  Lame.

please healthy foods! let me love you!

I want to make sure I say, I’m not trying to be unhealthy.  I’ve mentioned it in the last couple of weeks, Skinny Runner mentioned that you have to get used to being a little bit hungry.  Yuck.  I love the feeling of being FULL (not the best thing in the world) but it feels impossible to actually get FULL at this point.  I also refuse to completely give up an ice cream cone or peanut butter M # M’s.  That’s balancing out my diet for sure!  Nothing earth-shattering here but these are doable for me – hope this combo helps others!

I divorced the scale

The scale and I were in a relationship for the last 9 years.

At first this was a good relationship.  We cared for each other.  I would spend time with the scale on a daily basis and the numbers on the scale started dropping and kept going.  The scale and I celebrated weight loss together and things were great between us!

After the scale betrayed me early on, I decided to start running and then we got better.  Essentially, it was like when you are dating someone and you put all of your energy into that person.  This can be smothering – poor scale!  Running definitely improved our relationship.

However, the last two years the scale and I started drifting apart.  We took a trial separation since I figured neither one of us was happy and maybe some time apart was what we needed.  But I went back – I kept wondering what the scale was up to and it looked so lonely sitting there all by itself.  So we got back together.

Turns out getting back together wasn’t the best decision.  Our relationship was overpowering and the scale seemed to have so much control over me!  Did the scale say something I didn’t like?  Then the day started out on a downer.  The scale was so negative!  Seriously, it was a big jerk!  I worked harder and the scale just mocked me.  It got to a point where I dreaded spending time with the scale every morning as it increased my anxiety.  The scale made me want to give up on trying to get healthier alltogether.

Last Wednesday the scale and I divorced.  Three days later, I kicked the scale out of the apartment.  At first, I missed the scale – we were together for so long!  We had started to depend on each other too much – was I going to have a good day or bad day?  Since the numbers weren’t really moving, were my healthier habits completely in vain?  I was so dependant on the scale that I started believe the numbers were the only things that mattered.

It’s been a week.  I feel so much better – emotionally and mentally!  It was no way to start a day!  Not to mention, all of that mental and emotional energy was being wasted!  So, I’ve started to move my concentration to better nutrition (still counting calories) and actual fitness.  It’s been an interesting transition especially considering how long I’ve weighed myself everyday.  I don’t want to turn to disordered eating habits and for me personally, the scale starts to push these buttons for me.

I don’t think the scale and I can be friends after this break up.  A friendship would simply bring us back together so this relationship is officially over.  In all honesty, it’s for the best!