where did I go?!

This isn’t a question I think you are asking… more a question I’m asking myself.  Where have I been the last two months?!  I’m not even sure I know the answer.  I miss my blog and the urge to write is making my fingers itch.  So back in the proverbial saddle.  I feel a bit rusty though…

A brief rundown of my what I’ve been doing:

1. The holidays.  I headed back to WA like I do every year.  This was different since it was essentially a “Very Brady Christmas”.  My sister in law and brother in law came from Paris, and these were simply two of the folks joining in on the festivities – there were many others.  I will be honest, I was slightly apprehensive.  It all seemed so BUSY.  Of course, I worried needlessly.  It was an amazing visit.  I will write a full post because my family deserves more than a paragraph in a recap.

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family

2. I greeted the new year with sickness.  I’m thinking this is my new thing.  For the last few years, I’ve come back to MI and within a few days, come down with an ailment.  Planes man… they are flying germ buckets.  I then proceeded to pass along my troubled immune system to office mate.  He has had his revenge though because now he is getting sick AGAIN and I am about a day or two behind him.  The little virus critters are taking hold.  We are passing disease back and forth and I am lysol-ing the entire office.  We share the same phone and same bin of pens.  We are a biology experiment gone wrong (or gone right depending on which tests you are running).

3. Job searching, resume writing and new career finding.  This is definitely one of the biggest changes I’m currently undertaking.  I’ve known for a while this was the direction I was headed but now I’m actually making some progress.  Back to the great Pacific Northwest for me and it includes a career shift.  I’ll miss higher ed but I’m eagerly anticipating a different challenge.  The cross country move, while necessary, is some scary business though!

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4. Work.  Work always seems busy for anyone and everyone I know.

5. Actually cooking!  I have a post that is mostly written on this and I’ve been impressed with myself.  I realized it’s been some time since I was cooking meals and it was having a detrimental effect on my overall eating habits.  A blueberry muffin, blueberries and skinny pop are not the best dinner combination.  I wouldn’t say I committed to cooking dinner, rather I did it one night and then kept going from there.

Tatertot-copy
I love this dancing tater tot

6. I’m working on talking my sister and brother into doing a sibling 1/2 marathon.  I am slowly convincing them of what an amazing idea this is!  It means I need to get a move on with getting back into shape.  My current shape is more blob-like.  And I have no muscles to speak of.

7. Lastly, I’m still eating ice like mad.  I was doing pretty well with taking some iron pills and then I forgot them over break.  I’ve been a bit of a failure with reincorporating them into my med routine.  This weekend – I’m going to fix this.  I’m going through oh so many cupfuls!

giphy
this is me

An invigorating post, eh?  Really, I needed to finally hit “post” – side note, whenever I say this word, I can hear my Michigan accent.  Very strange.  Happy weekend!

deep breath

Like most people, I was/am saddened by the terrorist attacks – all of them. I feel sorrow and true disgust at the horrific events that don’t seem to end.  The attacks on Paris sent my heart racing.

My brother and sister-in-law live there.  Many of my new friends and my new family live there.  I felt like I got punched in the stomach.  Thankfully, my brother is currently in New York but I panicked thinking of my sister-in-law and the others.  Given my propensity to think the worst (which has increased since my mom passed suddenly in 2011), I was so scared.  I’m beyond grateful my sister-in-law, family and friends overseas, are safe.

this is my SIL, Sabrina in NY with us in 2012
this is my SIL, Sabrina in NY with us in 2012

The anxiety hasn’t completely left me – I know, surprise, surprise.  I woke up today all kinds of out of sorts.  It was going to be a very packed day and it felt daunting.  I was supposed to do a PT session on my own today and this was somehow going to fit into my lunch break, in-between back to back to back meetings.  All of the stomach acid.

I made the executive decision to skip the PT session – I can still fit it in before my actual session on Wednesday.  I was able to catch up on some administrative tasks, which had been sitting on my to do list, taunting me.  I also realized I wanted some comfort food.

and some comfort memories – my dad and I in Paris this summer

Well, I realized it yesterday but I had to work so I had popcorn for dinner instead.  But tonight – tonight I wanted to feed my feelings.  I’ve been craving meat (not chicken or turkey), probably related to my iron deficiency, and I found my way to a stroganoff recipe.  How could I forget about stroganoff?!  I’ve only made it one other time in the last 12 years – crazypants!

I searched pinterest and found a recipe that satisfied my gluten-free needs.  Did you know cream of mushroom soup has wheat in it?  I wasn’t sure it would taste as good without that ol’ standby but I should’ve trusted.  The recipe I used was from Simply Recipes.  This was all homemade and business!

No pictures of my creation because stroganoff doesn’t photograph well.

Also, I ignored the salt recommendations, because I thought I was smarter?  You probably still could if you wanted to but I found I needed to add salt afterward.  I also practically doubled (or maybe more) the paprika because paprika and I are tight.

view from Sacre-Coeur in Paris

The stroganoff hit the spot.  Not only did it satisfy my taste buds but it was nice to go through the routine of cooking.  I haven’t cooked in a long time and making this bad boy was calming.  P.S. Read all of the directions before you start!  I had to scramble a bit.

Tomorrow is another filled to gills work day.  But I will have stroganoff leftovers waiting for me at the end of the day.

My thoughts continue to be with the victims of all of the attacks of this last week and previous ones.  I have so many dear memories from the two weeks I spent in France this summer celebrating my brother’s wedding and it hurts my heart to think of all of this devastation.

pancakes are jerks

First and foremost, today is my grandma’s birthday!

gr kate and my sister - I adore this picture!
gr kate and my sister – I adore this picture!

Happiest of Birthdays to a wonderful woman!  Seriously, everyone she meets loves her oodles and oodles.  I just got lucky to be her granddaughter.  People are jealous.

I have some odds and ends to share…

1) My stomach decided to stage a violent protest today.  Last night I made some brownie overnight oats.  It’s been on my must try list for some time and I was motivated last night so I made it.  These were some highly anticipated oats, my friends.  It made two servings and when I tried some today, I found them pretty rich.  I wasn’t sure if I totally dug them or not and then was only able to manage 1/2 of the serving before I put it back in the fridge.

before I delved into what I was hoping was chocolatey breakfast goodness
before I delved into what I was hoping was chocolatey breakfast goodness

It wasn’t long before my stomach starting picketing.  Now, I can’t be sure the oats were the culprit.  They did have a fair amount of milk in them (I used evaporated milk since I was out of almond milk – I use it for cooking).  I hurt for the rest of the day and I still can’t be sure if I feel better because my stomach is sore from the manic cramping.  The question… do I try the oats again to make sure it was them?  Or do I throw out the batch?  I’m conflicted.  (I got the recipe here)

2) I ran/walked 5 miles on the tready on Saturday.  I had a wicked dizzy spell in the middle of it so when I jumped back on for another 5 on Sunday I stuck to walking.  Still a bit woozy so I’m thinking I was dehydrated?  Yesterday I planned on a few more miles but gave into the siren call of my couch.  I still managed 3 walking miles for the day.

3) I made pancakes this weekend.  I was craving them and after the run I wanted a GIANT pancake.  Naturally, I chose a small frying pan and filled that sucker with batter – I wanted a super thick pancake.  I’m sure you might want to face-palm me right now because you guessed it – this bad boy took FOREVER to cook!  Oh my gosh!  20 minutes later it still had a gooey center, so I started scraping the done part off in order to try to cook it in mashed up pieces.  It was a pancake massacre… that still had a soft-batter center.  Thankfully butter, syrup and ham helped to hide the not-quite-done-parts.

this is a great illustration of my pancake sadness… and confusion

The thing is, this is the second time my pancakes have been mini-disasters.  The first time, fine, I tried to put together my own batter with flour and some odds and ends.  Not happening.  But this time I used a box mix!  The rest of the batter still didn’t cook very well even though I made them smaller/thinner.  I used Krusteaz gluten-free mix.  At this point I’m sticking to the Bisquick gluten-free pancake mix – those were more successful.  It was a bit tough on the ego to mess up pancakes, hence my firmly placing the blame on the pancakes themselves.  Jerks.

I thought I had more.  I guess I don’t.  But please weigh in on my question:

Try the oats again in order to not waste food in case they weren’t responsible for the loads of pain I suffered today?

salmon, peanuts and a cupcake

I’m still on the DL with regards to anything active.  I am trying to walk around as much as possible during the day.  My job isn’t exactly activity central so it varies between 1-2 miles a day.  At least it’s something?  I am noticing a decline in my mood (crabby-cakes to the max) and suddenly it seems my hips are bigger than they were yesterday.  I swear, I’m not delusional.

Due to this, I’ve been working on keeping some of my food in check – at least I was until the other night when I went on a bit of a binge-fest.  First, this kinda yummy cupcake.  It wasn’t fantastic and typically with a treat, if it isn’t really good I don’t finish it because I don’t want to waste the calories.  HOWEVER, I’ve been craving a cupcake since I first gave up gluten (5ish months now) so I was pumped for this.

eh - not really worth it
eh – not really worth it

I ate the whole thing but won’t buy it again.

Then I decided I needed to cut the sweetness with some salty peanuts.  I can’t stop with the peanuts when they are in a giant bag in front of me.  So, I just kept eating them until I was uncomfortably full.  I did have salmon and green beans for dinner so it wasn’t a total loss but a waste of a day of healthy eating.  I know it happens but usually I can counteract it with some extra activity.  Now, I simply feel like a slug.

I did get the results of my foot mapping from Dr. Chiro.  Here are my feets:

my feetsRed zones are where I carry all of the pressure when I walk.  Apparently, I’m supposed to have an arch on either side.  Funny enough, I’ve always thought I had LOVELY arches – little did I know they were sabotaging little buggers!  Truthfully, Dr. Chiro was impressed with my inner arch (well, at least this was how I interpreted his comment of “wow – you have really high arches) but then said I had major flat feet on the outside.  Weird is all I have to say about this.  I wouldn’t really give it too much mind, however, I want to fix my blasted right ankle and arch and inserts will really help.  Fingers crossed they will be covered by insurance.

a scan of balanced feet... hmm... mine looks sorta different
a scan of balanced feet… hmm… mine look sorta different

If not, I’ll fork over the dough because you know, these are my feet (which, funny enough, are connected to the rest of my body – whaa?!).  I kind of want them to stick around and be all youthful like.  I’ve got more miles left in me with regards to running and simply walking around comfortably.  Not to mention, unless I purchase stock in RockTape, it could be time for a different kind of intervention.

I mentioned some salmon above and here is the recipe.

look at this beautiful creation!
look at this beautiful creation!

It was very tasty!  Cooking fish makes me a bit weary as I imagine tiny parasites are just waiting to be undercooked – I imagine my innards look like some prime real estate.  I had to exclude many of the seasonings and it was still good.  I’ve been eating on this hunk for four days.

Next up, before I found the Udis blueberry muffins, I tried to make one on my own.  I followed the instructions for a single serve but should have cooked it longer than suggested for a more muffin-like texture.  As it was, it was more of a blueberry oatmeal bake.  Still decent but not what I was anticipating/desiring.

that's some coconut spread on top - not needed as it was good enough on its own.
that’s some coconut spread on top – not needed as it was good enough on its own.

I’m really excited for my next two culinary adventures.
1.  Jicama fries.  I like the word “jicama” and I like fries.  Could be a match made in heaven.
2.  Cottage Pie.  I read Mommy Isn’t Here Right Now – we ran a Ragnar together and this is how we met.  She follows a paleo diet fairly closely and I’ve seen pictures of her cottage pie a few times.  My mouth waters a bit each time.  Onward to Pinterest!  I found this recipe, which has bacon(!!) in it along with a butternut squash layer on top.  I think it sounds amazing.  I’m going to add a few more veggies to the mix and I’m looking forward to what I hope is some deliciousness.

I’ve also been throwing back the blueberries, purchased some oranges and of course inhaling bananas.  Again, aiming for some balance in my meals.  Last night, I needed to finish up some leftovers so it was a sausage along with the rest of the salmon.  It was a meaty-themed meal.  Although an orange was added later on – I’ve got this balance down to a science.

unscientific science experiment

As previously stated (more than) a few times, it seems I’ve been sick every single weekend for the last couple of months.  Some of this is unavoidable since not feeling well is kind of my (gluten-free) bread and butter.  However, on the weekends it intensifies.

pretty, no?

So, as mentioned on Monday, I’m going to conduct an experiment this weekend.  Brief caveat, the reason this isn’t totally scientific is because I can’t create the exact environments/conditions of previous weekends.  There were a variety of variables that I can’t (and don’t want to repeat) so I’m going to wing it on that part.  This is where the unscientific part comes into play.  My bio profs from undergrad would totally give me side-eye at this point.

LOVE her (I feel this way most days, actually)

Nevertheless, (I changed my major anyway) here is what the experiment will entail both Saturday and Sunday:

1.  Wake up and change into half of my running clothes – the other half will be sweatpants because I love them.

2.  Eat a banana, take my meds and make a cup of coffee.

3.  I’m only allowing myself to drink 1/2 of my coffee.  No more.  This will test me.

truth – but science must prevail!

4.  Jump on the treadmill – or at least meander my way to it.  My reward will be getting the rest of my coffee when I’ve finished my work out.

5.  Get ready for the day.  Enjoy aforementioned coffee.

6.  Be excited for sticking to the experiment.

I really have absolutely NO idea if this will help with sickness issues or not.  Fingers definitely crossed.  I will say, my anxiety and now stomach problems always hit me harder during on Saturdays and I think it’s due to my mind/body decompressing from the week.  My docs have talked about this phenom with me and essentially, when I get time to rest, all of the pent up business from the week hits me.  Sometimes my migraines work this way too.

I hate working out in the mornings – so many tests this weekend!

If anything it will be a change up from the norm.  What I’ve  been doing so far certainly hasn’t helped not to mention my couch cushions could use a rest from my  buns.

Last night?  Nope, no treadmilling.  Instead I put those eggplants to good use and made these patty type deals.  Truthfully, I’ve never had eggplant so I wasn’t sure what to expect or if I would even like it.  Today I had a patty and half over some salad for lunch and it was good!  I used some balsamic as well and it was even more filling than I anticipated.  Here is the recipe I used but of course I axed the garlic (major stomach killer), the onions, although I used a smidgen of onion powder and added some paprika for my spice.  I’ve always likeed paprika but now I’m falling more and more in love with it.

eggplant success dance

I’ll report back with whether or not my weekend experiment was successful on Monday.  Yay for Friday – I’m ready to embrace some laundry, some Old Navy and making those energy bites.

proud of this self

All too often I catch myself thinking of the “failures” in my life.  Maybe it was how I didn’t train enough, or didn’t do as well with a work project or haven’t done a load of laundry in about 3 weeks (this is no joke-it’s scary up in this apt!).

So today I am going to write on the items I currently pride myself on.  Once again, a list – I think I love these things!

I'm slightly obsessed with these
I’m slightly obsessed with these, too

1.  I’ve stuck with my gluten-free lifestyle.  I could be a bit overly concerned with it, although I’m guessing this is necessary in the beginning of any big change.  I de-glutened my cupboards on Sunday and found I tend to hoard food along with items.  It was a good lesson for me.  Again, I don’t think gluten isn’t going end society as we know it but it doesn’t work for my body.

2.  I’ve stayed strong in the face of a PLATTER of delicious cookies, carrot cake with loads of cream cheese frosting and naturally, my favorite brownies with frosting in the cafeteria.  Please know, it’s not the sugar I’m worried about.  I was having a convo with a co-worker and she said, “well, a little bit of gluten won’t hurt, you probably don’t need to worry about it”.  But this is a deep and twisty rabbit hole I’m not willing to jump into.

I ate pie instead

3.  SO MANY RACE EMAILS!  Goodness, they just keep coming, “join us!”.  And I really want to, honest but I know racing isn’t good for me right now.  Heck, running is barely right for me.  My stomach doesn’t approve of the jostling – at least in the beginning.  I can’t tell if it would calm down after a few miles since I haven’t made it past 1.5.  Oh well, I haven’t signed up – I’ve stayed strong.

4.  I’ve stayed very focused at work.  Every night this past week was a late night in my work world.  It wasn’t pleasant and by last night I was exhausted.  Nevertheless, I met deadlines, performed well in an important meeting, and accomplished a to-do list that never stopped growing.  I’m a firm believer in a healthy work-life balance and I am the guardian of my own time.  However, my work days were packed to the gills and work-life balance sometimes must be heavy on the work side of things.  Accepting it is just as important.  I gotter done real good this week and last.

5.  I made turkey pot pie from scratch!  It was a TON of work but I am so impressed with myself.  The recipe called for a bit too much thyme so just a note to self for next time.  Yep, I even crafted my own pie crust – for both this and my pumpkin pie.  And just let me say, not only was my pot pie very good but it was beautiful!

in a heat shaped pan no less
in a heat shaped pan no less

6.  It was an ugly sickness week.  Stomach and hormones combined is a nasty and painful result.  Again, I didn’t let it beat me emotionally or physically.  Oh I spent  some time on my couch but not a one sick day.  Progress.

simon is a perfect sickness partner
simon is a perfect sickness partner

7.  I haven’t given into my own personal sugar monster!  I’ve indulged – I don’t think abstaining is the right choice for me but I don’t need it.

These are all related and each one took some effort to accomplish.  It’s easy for me to push something off until the next day… and then the day after that.  Retraining habits man, it’s no easy feat.  I appreciate this and am damn proud of myself!

blog post stew vol. 7.5

My life is pretty boring right now – at least to other people.  Talking about work non-stop is not a theme for this blog so instead, it’s another volume of blog post stew!

1.  I made mug macaroni and cheese.  Or “easy mac” if you will.  I didn’t have any milk so I searched pinterest over to find one that didn’t need any.  I found this one and it was really good!  Heed my warning – the water bubbles EVERYWHERE in the microwave.  Put a towel under the mug or put the mug in a bowl.  It was a mess.  I also put a bit of butter in with the noodles right before I added the cheese; either way is good.  It was even creamy without milk.  Oh and rinse out the mug immediately; it’s a bitch to clean.

I think I’ve used this before but it’s too perfect… I’m still thinking about its lovely mac/cheesy goodness

2.  Simon decided to vomit all over the apartment yesterday while I was at work.  On my bed, on my couch (thankfully he got it on the blanket), right at my front door – and a few other places.  Poor little dude didn’t feel well.

3.  I’m currently fiddling with my coffee recipe.  It makes me feel unsettled – I need my coffee routine!  Haha, I’m such a maroon when it comes to my coffee.

During Aug, my coffee consumption goes up by 33%

4.  I’m working on using small pockets of time.  I get stuck in the mindset of, “I don’t have enough time to start/do/work on” whatever project.  It’s the same way I feel about running – that if I don’t have time to do 5 miles or so then it’s a waste.  Yes, silly.  With regards to using these small time intervals, I’m concentrating on seeing what I CAN accomplish.  For example, I paused a tv show the other night and washed my face so I would be ready for bed later.  I was heating up dinner in the microwave last night and I washed my coffee cup and made my morning coffee.  I washed a couple of other dishes, too.  Yes, there is still silverware to be washed (man, I hate washing forks!), however, I just bought myself an extra 4ish minutes in the morning.  For this sleeper-inner, that’s A LOT!

5.  I’ve been going to bed fairly early lately!  In fact, last Thursday night I fell asleep at 9:15 pm.  All last week I turned the tv off at 10 pm and then readied for bed.  I’m going to try to shorten the getting ready part so I can be in bed even earlier.

6.  Grocery shopping on a Sunday… avoid it if you can.

7.  I went through a car wash yesterday!  I’ve never done it in my own car before!  Seriously, I’ve always been nervous I wouldn’t know what to do or I would crash into the side or something.  I’ve washed my car but just never been through the machine.  I LOVED IT!  Haha, best $6.00 I’ve spent in a while.

8.  Here’s a picture of my sister, niece and soon to be sister-in-law flashing some WA pride at my dad’s wedding.  There will be more random pics of my recent travels in future posts!

btw, my soon to be sis-in-law is French... let's blame that instead of the wedding champagne for the 4 finger "W"
btw, my soon to be sis-in-law is French… let’s blame that instead of the wedding champagne for the 4 finger “W”

britney spears is helping me through

Work.  It’s been exhausting.  It’s the busiest time of the year for me and student affairs professionals across the country.  Suddenly there are status write ups from my colleagues that say things like, “I promise, I do like you but I probably won’t be able to talk to you for the next month”.  This is the norm.

This week has been particularly challenging.  I won’t go into details but even my bones are tired.  Not that sleep deprivation tired rather that mental fatigue that no amount of sleep can cure.

I repeated this to myself this morning. I’m not even kidding a little bit.

ANYWAY… First of all, due to the above, I haven’t run in a week.  Not my best choice considering the Detroit 26.2 is inching closer by the hour.  I could have run, of course.  Wait – my brain was on strike.  And then a miracle happened.

I got up this morning and RAN!!  I know!  I’ve been setting my alarm for an early morning run for months now and so far my bed’s siren call is just too strong.  At 4:45 am I woke up with a panic attack that kinda sorta stuck with me until I finally got out of bed at 6:20 am.  So, I can’t totally thank some inner motivation.  However, I didn’t stay in bed.

It was chilly this morning – I LOVED it.  I was pretty certain I would need to walk within the first mile and up the wretched hill.  I was pleasantly surprised when I made it up the hill, still running.  I kept going.  Then I kept going some more.  I finished out with 3.5 miles and ran the whole way.  Even my dizzy spell at the end of my run couldn’t beat down my feeling of accomplishment.The panic attack, dizzy spell and a stomach ache that I’ve had for over two weeks now are symptoms of my anxiety which is in high gear.  It’s also my second dizzy spell of the week and yes, I do find this troublesome.  Nevertheless, I’m pleased with my run.  I felt strong(ish).  Originally, I planned on making it a double run day but considering the dizzy spell, I opted for some ice cream and rest instead.

Oh and for dinner?  My first ever STIR FRY!  Wahooo!  I made fried rice and my cup runneth over with pride.  Silly?  Maybe… I’ve wanted to make fried rice for about a billion years yet found it intimidating.  I was convinced I would mess it up.  I realize now, this could be difficult but only because of my success this evening.  I added more veggies and chicken than called for so not only was it pretty but filling.  And delicious!

okay, it doesn't look that pretty but it was/is delish!
okay, it doesn’t look that pretty but it was/is delish!

Even though my brain is mush and my inner organs are being drowned in cortisol, my happy pills are at least keeping me functional.  I actually have all of Saturday off so I need to get through a hectic day tomorrow and then can let my body turn into a pool of mushy goo for a whole 24 hours.  Sunday there will be more work to be had – good thing I’ve got this little dude to keep me company.

this is simon's new favorite spot
this is simon’s new favorite spot

ground sirloin taste on a ground chuck budget

Friday I went to the grocery store.  It was one of those trips where I needed toiletries along with food so the bill was heftier than I wanted.  That’s when I realized a) food is expensive – why do we have to eat?!  b) last week I bought two pairs of cords and two shirts for LESS than this grocery bill!  c) it’s quite possible I could have gone a bit cheaper on this trip.  Here is the rundown:

Non-food items: body wash, female products, cold cream – I didn’t NEED the cold cream.  I saw this commercial for Abaline and I thought, “hey, that’s cool!  Washing my face with cold cream, just like in the 50’s!”  I’m sure my decade is way off but I like the sound of it.  The cold cream was on clearance but was still $3.95

does the skin right!

Cat food:  Simon is one lucky and picky cat.  I stocked up on treats and cat food.  I also put down puppy training pads right outside of his litter box so he cleans his feet a bit.  It also stops him from tracking litter onto the carpet.

Regular food:  I’m making some white chicken chili this weekend and needed most of the ingredients for this.  Except for the chicken, which I already have, thankfully, as it wasn’t on sale.  Bacon, eggs, bananas, a frozen pizza (I despise cooking on Friday night), a jug of water and tomatoes.

Coffee:  I have a problem but we all knew this already.  I needed creamer (I bought 3 or 4 bottles) and coffee.  I finally found some coffee that I really like and is actually fairly cheap.  A bag is $5.00.  I really like grocery store blends/roasts and strongly recommend them.  All of my favorites are non-big coffee chains.

Kind Bars:  while these are so, so good they are not “kind” to my budget (ha!)!  They were on sale for $1.39 per bar.  Since I used to eat granola bars/breakfast bars for breakfast this is a great alternative.  It keeps me full a lot longer, it’s all natural and with a banana I’m good to go.

Chobani Flips:  yep, still in love with these!  My fridge is stocked and I eat this for breakfast or lunch.  These aren’t cheap either but my obsession controls my pocket-book!

When I write it out, it doesn’t seem like that much.  I do buy chocolate milk for after running and to take my meds with at night.  I didn’t buy a lot of snack foods although I did buy my current favorite chocolate, Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate and Caramel squares – oh so yummy

Still, where does all the money go?  My cart wasn’t even all the way full!  Sometimes when I am going through aisle and see families I don’t understand how they feed everyone!  Not to mention, our sales tax isn’t bad at all.  In WA it’s 8%.  While my budget could withstand some ground sirloin it better supports ground chucking it.  I’ve been thinking a lot about budget lately and how I use/spend my money.  There is something to be said for learning how to better manage my funds when I’m doing okay rather than when I’m financially pinched.  I’m almost completely out of credit card debt.  I’m ecstatic about this considering it will be the first time in 15 years where I won’t be dragging a credit card ball and chain.  Oddly enough, the other day when I went to buy my Hokas, the price tag made me a bit nervous at first (they were mega on sale so I bought two pairs)  so I almost put it on my credit card to make me feel better.  Thankfully, I realized this was silly.  It’s a habit.  I can fool myself into thinking I’m not really spending the money if I put it on the little 3.370 × 2.125 in piece of plastic with the magic black strip.

breaking the habit is hard – rejoice!

Then there is my running budget – absolutely a whole other post!

this post is like my veggie soup – a whole mix of things

I woke up this morning and for a moment, I couldn’t figure out if I actually had today off or if it was all in my head and I was late for work.  A wee bit of unease set in as I tried to wake up and put two and two together.  Yes, I am a bit unorganized first thing in the morn!

I looked outside and was welcomed with big FAT snowflakes falling at an admirable rate – I’m guessing a 5:30 minute pace!  Impressive!  When I don’t have anywhere to go and can stay cuddled up inside my apt all day, it can snow cats and dogs and I don’t mind!  Running?  Maybe… I haven’t quite decided yet.  I did notice that by the time yesterday rolled around I was really looking forward to running.  It’s been a couple of months since I had that feeling and it was nice.  However, I made some homemade vegetable beef soup in the crock pot.

hmmm, a tad full...
hmmm, a tad full…

Unfortunately, I don’t quite understand the laws of physics(?), geometry(?), whatever, and I had to transfer all the goods to my dutch oven since I didn’t even have all the ingredients in and it looked like that!

So.  Last night I finally put my profile up on a dating site.  I was nervous.  In fact, I may have had a mild panic attack where I wondered if I would ever find love or hell, if I was even worthy of it!  Seriously, my insecurities seemed to multiply and reared their ugly heads.

I watched this yesterday!
I watched this yesterday!

Yep, just like that…

I think part of my anxiety stemmed from feelings resurfacing from my younger days.  Yes, some of it is still there considering this is a new process but I did pull myself together and I actually think there is some excitement brewing (coupled with knee-knocking fear of course!).  I’ll keep you posted – I have a feeling this is going to be interesting!

I'm pretty sure this movie helped spur me into action on the whole dating thing
I’m pretty sure this movie helped spur me into action on the whole dating thing

Lastly, I’m certain my whole toe is going to fall off!  Enter in the dramatics… but since I am a complete chicken, I am going to visit the doc tomorrow and let them decide.  I’m probably going to have it amputated… ;)