tummy drama

Alright, I need to write about last week… It’s my way of dealing with it and keeping sane.  No problem if you want to skip this post; I would completely understand.

Everyday last week I wanted to crawl into bed and stay there.  Every damn day.  The snow day was beneficial as it allowed me hang out on the couch.  And writhe in pain.  Remember the plan to cook and prep foods for the week?  Yeah, that didn’t happen.  It all started Monday night and then the rest of the week was terrible.

wilson phillips, I’m counting on you to tell the truth

On Wednesday I called “Dr. Ascot’s” (my pet name for him) office in hopes they would have at some kind of advice to help with the bloating, cramping and nausea.  Their suggestions were the following:  eat smaller meals, take gas-x, no veggies… Basically that was it.  Not super helpful – I wanted to cry… not for long though.

But one of the helpful/great aspects of the Whole30 and ditching gluten is my mental state has improved.  For example, back when I hurt my hand again in April and the doc told me there wasn’t much I could do, I got all funky in the emotional realm.  It was yet another thing wrong with me.  Now, even though I’m hard up in the health department, I’m not scraping the bottom of the barrel in regards to depression or apathy.

must embody my inner, very determined Rocky

But I kept hoping everyday would be better.  Why is it worse this week?  I’m certain (well as certain as I can be by learning my diagnostic skills from the internet) it’s the lack of my combo of Nexeum and Zantac.  I think it was keeping me sort of functional.  Now, I’m supposed to depend on my the power of my shit stomach to save the day??  Clearly this is isn’t happening.  I’m afraid to eat.  Most of the time, I can’t even tell if I’m hungry or not and then if I do eat, I always wish I hadn’t.  Sooo, I eat very little… I know this sounds border-line disordered eating and I am trying VERY hard not to get sucked in.

Meanwhile, Dr. Ascot also cut my depression med.  He told me I needed to stop taking it so I assumed that meant right then and there.  It was only on Wednesday that I learned from the doc’s office that I should have weaned myself off of the stuff.  My pharmacy friend was worried so I asked when I called.  Seriously though, how was I supposed to know?  And guess what??  Withdrawal symptoms were/are some nasty business.  I was irritable all week, dizzy at times, had a small seizure and felt all kinds of out of sorts that I couldn’t even describe if I tried.  I thought it should be over by this last weekend but nope – still a loopy goose and a bit unstable on my feet.  I have hopes this will end soon.  When I asked the doc assistance if I should do something different and you know, it was the “too late now” answer.  Keep your fingers crossed for me, will you?  It can’t go on forever.

just the withdrawal talking… I can do this, right?!!

Oh and guess what??  I only have today’s cup of crappy coffee and tomorrow’s and then the introduction of dairy on WEDNESDAY!  Wahoo!