a juicy meltdown

I had a post all written for yesterday that included talking about how I often have “delayed long run hunger”.  This is just what it sounds like – I’m typically not terribly hungry the day after a longer run but the day after that?  Oh baby!  I am one starvin’ marvin.  So, yeah, that post is hanging out in my drafts.

Why?  Because yesterday  I felt ill.  I had a dizzy spell in the morning and forgot that these can make me feel really nauseous.  I went into work and hung in there until noon and then I went home.  I was donezo.  Now, as I was laying on my couch, I need to be honest, I didn’t want ANY MORE DAMN JUICE.  Seriously.  I was over it.

What did I want?  I don’t even know.  Actually, when I was feeling really sick I wanted some eggs and toast.  That sounded the best.  Instead. I made a juice and it wasn’t bad but it didn’t squash (ha! a food pun for the win!) the feeling that I wanted to eat.  I wasn’t hungry.  Nope… simply feeling very emotional.

One of the blog posts I read about a woman juicing said she had a day when it all seemed like too much.  When I read it, I thought this was silly and couldn’t imagine a time when I would be crying because of the cleanse.  It didn’t make any sense to me.  But I am here to tell you folks, it’s true.  I desperately wanted to comfort feed these emotions because in my mind, whatever food was calling to me (Chipotle if you are wondering) would CERTAINLY make me feel better!  Or maybe even pizza?  What about a sandwich or some fries?

See where I am going with this?  I needed an intervention, stat.  I texted office mate and asked him to assure me that siren’s call to emotionally eat were all lies.  He obliged:

textThankfully this helped calm me from the crap-eating ledge.  I know it sounds silly and now I am making light of it a bit but it was real.  I was crying.  I was also immersed in movies surrounding the theme of “hey we are in our 30’s and our lives are f-ed up!” – not my best choice.  When I talked with office mate today he said it’s all part of it and that he went through it some time in the middle as well.  Again… reassuring that I’m not a lunatic and a juicing meltdown is totally normal.

thanks honey boo boo

The other negative part was I decided to weigh myself yesterday.  I wore a dress earlier in the day and someone took a picture.  I didn’t quite look as svelte as I originally thought – surely the scale won’t lie?!  Well, that was a mistake.  The weight loss wasn’t any different from the first week.  “Why am I even doing this?!” ran rampant through my mind, also fueling the meltdown.  It’s suggested not to weigh in because the weight is going to fluctuate so much.  Sure enough, this morning I was three pounds lighter than I was yesterday.

So, I am still juicing.  It was a close call.  I think the third week is like mile 18 or 20 of a marathon.  Or mile 7 or 8 of a half.  I feel I am so close to finishing but it is going to take so much more  freakin’ effort to get there.  I told myself, “you only have one more Monday after this,” it helped.  Onward juicing soldiers…

hoarding comes in handy – I always knew it would!

So, I’m hoping after this weekend, I will be a bit more normal.  I’ve felt considerably whiny these last two weeks.  My move date was up in the air, the aforementioned guy-issues, work stress and then of course, the heat.  All of these things combined have made me feel completely bonkers.

Yesterday, I think it’s fair to say, I had a mini-meltdown.  I worked all day and it was very hot.  As in, I-only-want-to-sit-in-AC-hot.  I decided I should move some items in the evening on my own.  This was not a good plan.  I was beat, headachy and my apt still looked like this even after the moving

yes, this was overwhelming… for both me and the cat!

It doesn’t even look like I did anything!  A friend told me, “it’s going to worse before it gets better, Amy”.  Oh. Fantastic.

Today my friend Larissa came by and helped me pack more and we loaded up her car a few times.  Not going to lie, my hoarding came in handy at this point.  I’ve got a TON of shopping bags from all over.  We have used these as packing material and then today I decided we needed to start loading everything in bags.  This way, we could actually lift them!

oh yes! we loaded the car up with some heavy sacks! brilliant :)

I also paid a student who is SUPER strong to came over and load up all of the big boxes.  Now, let me just say, I am a TERRIBLE packer!  I am sooo sorry student!  First of all, we loaded the boxes up to near bursting.  Second, we didn’t tape the bottom (yikes – there was a horrible crunch in the hallway at one point!).  Third, well, we put all of the cookbooks in one box.  Yeah, that wasn’t one of our brighter moves!  But he was a great sport and got those hefty boxes moved in about an hour and 45 mins.  Thankfully, Larissa is strong too!

Earlier today I was headed for mega-meltdown status!  I’m feeling better tonight but who knows what this weekend will bring!  However, this is the last time I will moan and groan HERE about moving.  I think the hardest part is, I’ve lived here for almost 8 1/2 years!  Crazy, eh?  Lots of stuff collected during this time!  But no more whining.  I’ll definitely provide some updates and get those promised pictures up of the new place though because that is just fun!

As for some of the other stress in my life, I’ve decided there isn’t much I can do about it now.  I need to breathe, run and again, concentrate on what I can control.  I’m leaving to visit my family in TWO WEEKS!  There is a bunch of business to get done before then so I will have my hands filled up until I leave.  Oh, and I’ll try to protect you from the meltdown ;)