the amy moving chronicles

First thing, I will only utilize the third person narrative in my titles for the upcoming series.  I can’t do it for entire blog post since I would feel slightly pretentious.  Just wanted to get the record straight.  Also, this is the first in what is going to be quite the series/saga, so prepare yourselves to see variations of this title for a few weeks.

A month ago, I put in my resignation.  Way back in the day, I detailed how it was time to make some major life changes.  In fact, I’ve touched on this in multiple posts but in truth turning these words into a reality was difficult.  I got sidetracked by work and my own anxiety and failed to make any real progress toward the life changes.  After the holidays, I was more committed than ever to move back to WA or OR to be closer to my family.

seriously – who wouldn’t want to rejoin this nutty bunch!

Officemate had also been on the hunt for a change and moved away in Feb sans job, although one hovered on the horizon.  Maybe this was what gave me a touch of courage.  Or maybe it was that I was allowing too many excuses get in the way of making a final decision.  Whatever it was, I said I was going to move and started job searching.

Well, I’m still job searching.  When I realized job searching is/was more difficult from 2500 miles away than I anticipated, especially when changing fields all together, I blurted out I was moving with or without a job.  I’m certain this was a higher power taking over the wheel since I’m still not sure how these words came out of my mouth.  I’m typically more cautious than this.  Three days later I put in my resignation and picked my last of work date.  June 14th.

pretty excited to rejoin the washingtonians

Fast forward to today and I still don’t have a job and moving day has been moved up to the 11th.  Thankfully, my fam is willing to take Simon and I in as (freeloaders) guests until I land a job, which I fully plan on it only being at the most a month.  And no, I don’t have any plans to be the family mooch, I’ll be a contributing member!  Also today, I’m taking another huge step and am (FINALLY) securing my moving apparatus.  Seriously, this is some nerve-wracking business!  I always planned on hiring a company to load up and move all of my stuff but when it comes down to the dollars and cents, apparently, I’m cheap.  Or completely naive – both on what it would cost to get back to the other side of the country and to how much work is in front of me.  But whatever, it’s done.

It’s weird what steps seem so huge to me.  The first, was making the decision in the first place.  This one is obvious.  The second was the resignation in writing, again pretty clear why this was a big deal.  But the following have sent me through a whirlwind of nerves:  picking my last day of work (it was kind of in my control), setting the date and any details for my farewell gig at work, ordering my moving contraption, selling stuff online (still need to do), trying to figure out how to transport Simon in the car… there are more.  All of these feel so final and it’s a tad overwhelming.  I really feel as though I have absolutely NO IDEA what I’m doing.  Hence the waiting until the last minute on many of these.

who needs sleep, amiright?!

 

So, today is a good step.  I called my dad for advice because “cubic feet this and cubic feet that” were really getting confusing and I needed some confirmation I was making sound decisions.  I even went ahead and secured my storage at a facility in WA, so at least this was a step in the right direction!  Simon has a giant “pack ‘n play” for his car travels which I’ve set out so he can get used to it, and I’ve scheduled my last hair appt with my favorite stylist <– this was important!  I still have one last doc visit to schedule, Simon needs to see the vet, visit friends, get my car fixed, because surprise! my AC doesn’t work!  Then there is that pesky packing.  I tremble a bit thinking about it.  I know I will pull it together in the end – it’s the German way.  In the meantime, I’ve got lavender/lemon essential oils going in my diffuser to ease my and Simon’s anxiety.  I swear, my little guy has picked up on it and is freaking out right along with me.  We are a pair!

we all got this shirt for Christmas – trust me, the sentiment is true.

More of the moving saga to come…

red pill or the blue pill?

These came in the mail today!

yay! new compression sleeves!

I took advantage of their 1/2 off sale and grabbed the two sets of calf sleeves I’ve been ogling for the last year and half.  Now I can sport my Irish roots AND rock some polka dots.  I LOVE me some polka dots.

For some reason, summer encourages me to spend money.  I don’t know why.  I realized this the other day when I not only purchased the above but also super cute red stripped new Sketchers.  I’m kind of obsessed with Sketchers (I think these are really cute too!) at the moment because I can wear them for work and they are comfortable and supportive.  The other day I wore heels for the first time in MONTHS.  While darling, I realized why I haven’t worn them in so long.  Supportive and comfy shoes certainly have their perks, even if they don’t uplift my buns in quite the same fashion!

Alas, now it’s time to put the kabash on the summer spending.  It was fun while it lasted…  This morning I woke up in a panic.  I couldn’t believe I missed a race.  It’s the Firecracker 5 miler (more on this later) and it’s such a fun race.  I was so disappointed in myself.

Then I realized, “hey!  It’s not the 4th of July yet!  That’s tomorrow!  You didn’t miss it!”  I also realized I had to be at work in less than an hour and the dimmer switch was hit on said excitement.  By the way – NO ONE is at work the day before the 4th of July.

Today is some serious prime running weather and I am determined to get my buns out there.  I’ve been so freakin’ lazy lately.  I don’t know why!  My procrastination is in high gear for no reason.  It hit me that yesterday was my last possible “lazy day”.  Otherwise, I am going to be in so much pain.  Remember when I spoke of the aggressive marathon training schedule a.k.a. run camp?  This might be part of why I’m procrastinating – I don’t feel like I can get any better and just want to put this training off so I don’t have to face failure.

Brilliant plan, no?

Ho-hum… I did join Jess’s summer challenge running plan so maybe this will offer a bit of inspiration, too?  This morning, I kept thinking, “I used to be SO motivated.  I used to just get out there or get up and JUST DO IT!  Where did all of that go?!”  I’m still not sure where it went but I’m guessing it’s largely habitual.  Maybe my earlier athletic self was all a facade… I took the blue pill and then somewhere along the line I decided the red pill was more me.

oh morphius, which one is the MOTIVATED pill?

In order not to end this on a really whiny note, here is a picture of my super fat and adorable cat, Simon

GIANT cat

 

25k… the aftermath

My race recap will be up in tomorrow but the following has been swirling around my brain:

1.  More/real training would have made those 15.5 miles much easier!

2.  I think my rebellious streak comes into play with regards to running.  Maybe a “let’s see what I can do without training!” attitude.  Is this rebellion?  I don’t know but it’s how I used to shoot myself in the foot with regards to my academics as well.  I will also say it’s part of the procrastinator’s creed – if you don’t give your all to the preparation then you don’t have to risk your best being a “failure”.

deep thoughts on the hour drive up to the race and then back

3.  My legs were absolute gelatin as I crossed the finish line.  I completely left it all out on the course!  I was proud of myself.

4.  I stretched after the race, which I rarely do.  Solid plan Amy.

5.  Today my legs are fairly fatigued and sore.  My quads are especially tender.  I see some serious squats in my immediate future.

6.  I have a lot more determination and heart than I give myself credit for.

but I didn’t quit!

7.   I ran with 7,000 other runners!  This is the largest 25k in the country.  We all love running!

8.  Biofreeze is my bestie.

I’m talking to you biofreeze

9.  I didn’t run with my thumb brace because I knew it would be difficult to grab water and other fuel.  Adrenaline got me through the race buuut it wasn’t a great idea later.

10.  I parked about 8 blocks away.  Wow – it was a long way back!  A woman with her two kids offered me a ride to my car and while I was tempted I’ve watched way to much Investigative Discovery to take her up on it.

More tomorrow… all smiles though.  I seriously thought about not running – I had a prime excuse!  A dislocated thumb?  Prime!  However, I needed to prove something to myself.  I’m a proud runner!

 

uncle sam hearts tax day!

True to form, I did my taxes Monday…  I’ve nailed the art of procrastination of so many levels.

If yesterday is still sheds a shadow over your Wednesday or you just need a pick me up on a Wednesday, here is  some humor.  These are a few funnies that has made me laugh recently and wanted to share them.  Hope they do the same for you!  P.S. Uncles Sam says “thanks for filing!”  (Hmm… is it egotistical to speak for uncle sam?!)

the horrors…

man, I love these!

simon and I love Jurassic Park and this is very clever!

umm… this may have happened this weekend x2

I tried explaining this to my co-worker and why I thought it was so funny. lost in translation – I sounded like a crazy person

cracks me up!

And what would this list be without a cat meme?!

haha, poor cat!

Enjoy your Wednesday!

 

adult adhd/add – making it work for me

*I absolutely am not trying to make light of this condition, however, my coping mechanism is humor!

As I mentioned before, I am finally able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  While I still haven’t talked to my doctor about an official diagnosis (appt next month) after doing a lot of research there is no way I DON’T have ADHD/ADD.  Even talking with my brother, we have both discussed how we have most of the symptoms ADD.  And I am beyond convinced my mom did too.  It has been shown to be highly genetic so this makes a lot of sense.

The good news?  I finally don’t feel like such a failure in life!  I am surrounded by colleagues and friends who don’t seem to have the same struggles I do (but truly, what do I know about the inner workings of someone’s life and brain?) but I often compare myself to them.  How are they NOT procrastinating this task?  How do they stay so organized?  How to do they GET organized in the first place?  Why can’t I remember someone’s name?  Why can’t I be a functional adult?!  So understanding that it’s not just laziness but actually how my brain is wired is a relief.

Like I mentioned, after reading and doing research A) I know I am not alone and B) I am beginning to learn tactics to help reign in some of these aspects of my brain/personality.  The other day, I utilized pinterest to read about organization tips.  The problem?  They were all titled, “Easy ways of getting organized!”  “Be organized this weekend!”  “Organize your whole life in 10 days!”  Okay, so this is a bit of an exaggeration but honestly, these articles make no sense to me.  I have read hundreds of these but they never seem to be feasible for me.  Seriously, how do I even get started?!

hmmm… this looks all too familiar

Of course while doing this research I had a pile of laundry the size of Mount Everest just waiting for me.

it would be too embarrassing to actually take a picture of my own laundry mountain!

I found this article on the blog, ADD Consults, Helping Women Get Unstuck and on Track.    After reading a few articles, this website is going to be a huge help to me.  Connecting with others who are dealing with the same issues I am while getting advice on how to cope and strategies to function better are going to be very helpful.

Maybe I will never have an official diagnosis.  Maybe my doctor will think, “is there anything this woman DOESN’T diagnose herself with?!” (and maybe you are thinking this too) then I can still utilize these tips since so many of them match up with my difficulties.  On the flip side, so many of them coincide with my STRENGTHS.  I am able to use my resources well.  I think outside of the box more often than inside.  And I can always find a solution to issues that stump others.  I am creative, artsy, and can see the big picture.

this is important too, you know!

Anyone else dealing with adult ADHD/ADD?  (I’ve read conflicting articles that say ADD as a diagnosis no longer exists and that it is all referred to as ADHD so I am still trying to figure out this one.)  I would love to hear how others work to control some of the procrastination and organizing woes!

breaking the procrastinator’s code

Ahhh… the art of procrastination!  I have been a procrastinator for as long as I can remember.  The funny thing is, I am also a perfectionist.  Think these two don’t belong together?  Well, think again friends – they really go hand in hand!

Once upon a time when I was at one of the greatest schools in the land

shameless plug ;)

I was struggling to think of a topic for a paper.  Because I had waited until the last minute and because it had to be a research paper, I decided to write about procrastination.  I was actually really surprised what I learned!  Procrastinators are often perfectionists and perfectionists are often procrastinators.  Since perfectionists despirately don’t want to fail by waiting until the last minute they have a built in excuse for why they didn’t do as well as they wanted to.  I was kind of surprised by this although it also really reasonated with me.  Failing scares me and I know I wait until the last minute so if I don’t do as well as I wanted then at least I can blame it on on lack of prep.

Now Meagan on the other hand DID!  I wasn’t quite ready for this 1/2 marathon but attacked it like I was!  What can I say?  What I lack in training I make up for in GU and spirit!  It still was an amazing experience but I can’t help but think, if I had trained more I would have done better.  Yet, what if I had trained longer?  Harder?  And still didn’t do as well as I wanted to?  Yikes!  That would be tough to swallow!

Here is what I have learned about running (most sports I assume)… you can’t fake it.  Either you have put in the training or you haven’t.  It isn’t like procrastinating a project or presentation where you can get by waiting until the last minute.  Your body can only be pushed so hard before it just can’t do any more.  Sometimes I find this frustrating.  Since I live by a procrastinator’s code, we don’t start things early.  We thrive on the adreneline of a deadline, we believe we have more time than we actually do and we  ALWAYS believe we can get it done.  So why in the heeell did I take up distance running?!

yes, I'm in a bathroom... what can I say? It was the best lighting

This was a 10 miler race that was a week after the aforementioned 1/2 marathon.  In my mind, I was like, “of course I can run 10 miles – I ran 13 the weekend before!”  I was right, of course I could.  But I didn’t run at all that week… brilliant I know.  Once again, the question should be asked, why have I taken on distance running?  The answer?  I like it!  I am NOT built for speed!

this year at the campus classic - didn't break any speed laws here

What’s my point?  Well, yesterday as I was running I realized I had gotten myself in the same type of pickle as I did in the fall.  I have a 25k in three weeks and I am not trained enough.  Oh, I’ll be able to pull it off but it won’t be pretty.  The thing is last night I ran 5.5 miles and the longer I ran the faster and better I felt.  Today I am shooting for 9 which completely goes against the whole 10% rule.  I know I am not immune to injuries.  While I do a better job at stretching than ever before, have changed my stride and use a foam roller this isn’t going to magically keep injuries at bay when I push my body past it’s limits.

At the same time, I need to balance this with my silly mind that tells me I can’t run these crazy distances.  When I was running yesterday, my legs were like, “yay!  we love being set free on the pavement!”  I know in the next three weeks I’ll fit in a bunch of training in order to prep both my body and my mind.  Like I said, I’ll get the 25k done but I’ll always wonder if I could have done better.

But there will be other races.  The Ragnar in June, another 1/2 in July (in front of my family!) and hopefully a full in the fall.  I really want to break this cycle of last minute training and RACE these races!  I don’t want to let my teammates down in the Ragnar.  I want to show my family what I am capable of and hit a sub-2 hour 1/2 mari!  I would also like to hit a 4:15-4:30 full marathon.  This means (eeeekkkkk!!!) starting early!

So, sorry procrastination… I have to break up with you.  We are done.  Splitsville.  I’ve got some races to race!