proud of this self

All too often I catch myself thinking of the “failures” in my life.  Maybe it was how I didn’t train enough, or didn’t do as well with a work project or haven’t done a load of laundry in about 3 weeks (this is no joke-it’s scary up in this apt!).

So today I am going to write on the items I currently pride myself on.  Once again, a list – I think I love these things!

I'm slightly obsessed with these
I’m slightly obsessed with these, too

1.  I’ve stuck with my gluten-free lifestyle.  I could be a bit overly concerned with it, although I’m guessing this is necessary in the beginning of any big change.  I de-glutened my cupboards on Sunday and found I tend to hoard food along with items.  It was a good lesson for me.  Again, I don’t think gluten isn’t going end society as we know it but it doesn’t work for my body.

2.  I’ve stayed strong in the face of a PLATTER of delicious cookies, carrot cake with loads of cream cheese frosting and naturally, my favorite brownies with frosting in the cafeteria.  Please know, it’s not the sugar I’m worried about.  I was having a convo with a co-worker and she said, “well, a little bit of gluten won’t hurt, you probably don’t need to worry about it”.  But this is a deep and twisty rabbit hole I’m not willing to jump into.

I ate pie instead

3.  SO MANY RACE EMAILS!  Goodness, they just keep coming, “join us!”.  And I really want to, honest but I know racing isn’t good for me right now.  Heck, running is barely right for me.  My stomach doesn’t approve of the jostling – at least in the beginning.  I can’t tell if it would calm down after a few miles since I haven’t made it past 1.5.  Oh well, I haven’t signed up – I’ve stayed strong.

4.  I’ve stayed very focused at work.  Every night this past week was a late night in my work world.  It wasn’t pleasant and by last night I was exhausted.  Nevertheless, I met deadlines, performed well in an important meeting, and accomplished a to-do list that never stopped growing.  I’m a firm believer in a healthy work-life balance and I am the guardian of my own time.  However, my work days were packed to the gills and work-life balance sometimes must be heavy on the work side of things.  Accepting it is just as important.  I gotter done real good this week and last.

5.  I made turkey pot pie from scratch!  It was a TON of work but I am so impressed with myself.  The recipe called for a bit too much thyme so just a note to self for next time.  Yep, I even crafted my own pie crust – for both this and my pumpkin pie.  And just let me say, not only was my pot pie very good but it was beautiful!

in a heat shaped pan no less
in a heat shaped pan no less

6.  It was an ugly sickness week.  Stomach and hormones combined is a nasty and painful result.  Again, I didn’t let it beat me emotionally or physically.  Oh I spent  some time on my couch but not a one sick day.  Progress.

simon is a perfect sickness partner
simon is a perfect sickness partner

7.  I haven’t given into my own personal sugar monster!  I’ve indulged – I don’t think abstaining is the right choice for me but I don’t need it.

These are all related and each one took some effort to accomplish.  It’s easy for me to push something off until the next day… and then the day after that.  Retraining habits man, it’s no easy feat.  I appreciate this and am damn proud of myself!

I’m impressive (seriously – I have evidence)

A few weeks ago I gave a presentation on personal wellness/work-life balance to some college students.  I co-presented and they did such a great job that I was more of a presenter garnish than anything else.  It was pretty nice (being a garnish), especially considering we gave the presentation 4 times.

I did submit a couple of pictures for the slide show and thought they would simply be in a rotation.  Turns out I was to speak about one of them – this one in particular:

this picture… again

So I did.  I told them what the Dopey Challenge was.  Get this… each group clapped for me.  How crazy is that?  I can’t even begin to tell you how much I WAS NOT expecting this!  They ooo-ed and awww-ed and started clapping!  I must say, it was a real moment for me.  Like most people, I tend to underestimate my accomplishments.

Part of this is because in blog-land, people run double digits on a regular basis.  Many of the blogs I read/follow people are training for a marathon, have run ultramarathons or are cruising in on lots ‘o miles all the time.  Don’t me wrong, I love reading about these experiences but because this has become so normalized in my brain, I downplay my own.

I love this

A week before the aforementioned presentation, a co-worker and I were talking about a work issue.  It’s a giant project in which zapped my energy and most likely killed off a few brain cells per cortisol.  Stress and anxiety, you da bomb.  But I stuck with it and was determined to see it through.  He challenged me a couple of times and while it frustrated me, I stood my ground and stuck up for myself.  Toward the end of the discussion, he started complimenting me.  He said, “you’ve stuck with this project – many people wouldn’t have.  You run marathons – there is something different inside you than others.”

I wasn’t sure what to say because I was truly touched.  I forget the grit and determination it takes to get through those damn 26.2 miles, or 13.1 or whatever number I am running during training (it feels like every mile actually).  Doubt has crept in since training is hitting a snag due to August being so work-heavy.  It was a good reminder to be proud of myself no matter what the clock says or my weekly mileage is at the current moment.

natalie dee… wonderful


25k… the aftermath

My race recap will be up in tomorrow but the following has been swirling around my brain:

1.  More/real training would have made those 15.5 miles much easier!

2.  I think my rebellious streak comes into play with regards to running.  Maybe a “let’s see what I can do without training!” attitude.  Is this rebellion?  I don’t know but it’s how I used to shoot myself in the foot with regards to my academics as well.  I will also say it’s part of the procrastinator’s creed – if you don’t give your all to the preparation then you don’t have to risk your best being a “failure”.

deep thoughts on the hour drive up to the race and then back

3.  My legs were absolute gelatin as I crossed the finish line.  I completely left it all out on the course!  I was proud of myself.

4.  I stretched after the race, which I rarely do.  Solid plan Amy.

5.  Today my legs are fairly fatigued and sore.  My quads are especially tender.  I see some serious squats in my immediate future.

6.  I have a lot more determination and heart than I give myself credit for.

but I didn’t quit!

7.   I ran with 7,000 other runners!  This is the largest 25k in the country.  We all love running!

8.  Biofreeze is my bestie.

I’m talking to you biofreeze

9.  I didn’t run with my thumb brace because I knew it would be difficult to grab water and other fuel.  Adrenaline got me through the race buuut it wasn’t a great idea later.

10.  I parked about 8 blocks away.  Wow – it was a long way back!  A woman with her two kids offered me a ride to my car and while I was tempted I’ve watched way to much Investigative Discovery to take her up on it.

More tomorrow… all smiles though.  I seriously thought about not running – I had a prime excuse!  A dislocated thumb?  Prime!  However, I needed to prove something to myself.  I’m a proud runner!


respect the distance

Happy October!  I’m thrilled to welcome this month!  Lots of fun stuff for this month and I am looking forward to embracing all that it has to offer.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the upcoming marathon.  I’m super excited.  But I will admit, I haven’t been respecting the distance – what I am about to take on.  I read a lot of running blogs (I call them “my stories”) & I feel I’ve started to take the distance for granted a bit.  I mean, doesn’t it sometimes feel like everyone is running a marathon, so what’s the big deal?!  Haha, or maybe it’s just me and my ego over here :)

not sure if I’m petrified or thrilled!

I remember right before my first 1/2.  I was NERVOUS!  I was consuming anything and everything running related (including cheeseburgers but that’s a whole other story!).  I kept finding people downplaying the 1/2 marathon as not much of a distance.  It made me hopin’ mad!  Haha, and now I have found myself doing the same thing.  So, I’m stopping this insanity!  For all of you runners out there – be proud of whatever distance you are running!  It’s all an accomplishment!  If you are running 10 feet for the first time, a 10k or your first 26.2 – we should be so proud of ourselves!  Running is HARD!  Make sure you give yourself a pat on the back and celebrate your running accomplishments!

yep, that’s an “A” on her chest – I didn’t even plan that!

I’ve got some goals for these next two weeks as I finish out the prep…

1. eat healthfully

2. hydrate.  then hydrate some more

3. decide on a marathon outfit (yes, this really is THAT important!)

4. get some solid sleep (stop taking naps and then going to bed at midnight!)

5. hit my work outs and runs

6. save some money for souvenirs!!! :)

7. get rid of unrealistic expectations of my first marathon performance – I want to be proud I finished!

8. get even MORE EXCITED!

9. run a strong 5k this weekend

10. concentrate on not stressing out!  Haha, this might be the hardest one to achieve!

I love having a personal banana cheerleader that’s proud of me!

Nothing too complicated with these goals and they are all achievable.  I’m simply setting myself up for all kinds of success!  I also want to enjoy the whole experience!  Yay!  I’ll  leave you with this because a) it’s TRUE and b) it’s FUNNY!

can I get a volunteer?!