ummm… running is hard

I’ve been silent on this here site for the last week.  There were a number of reasons and now I’m ready to jump back into the writing deal.  I do enjoy it so.

Last week, I ran on Monday.  I really believed it would be a good run.  It wasn’t.  It dampened my spirits a bit as I had high hopes.  Then I took a minor hiatus until Saturday where I walk/ran (mostly walked) 7.5 miles.  It was hot.  It was hard.  The walk/run combo was for the first mile and after that I just decided to put in the mileage in the form of walking.  This was because the running part so completely sucked that I couldn’t stand it.  Yep, the whole 4 day off deal didn’t help, nor did the hanging out on my buns prior to getting outside but still, I thought it would be easier.The walk was challenging as I made sure to hit some really steep hills to make up for the lack of running.  Sunday, I was fairly certain, was going to be easier.  After all, I got the “first day back” lazy legs out of the way so I was set.  Hmm – not so much.  At this point, I admitted to myself that running is just hard.

I’ve spent some time romanticizing my past running abilities.  In my brain, I envision a gazelle-like state; regularly running around without a care in the world because it was easy.  Clearly, my imagination is vivid and totally inaccurate!  When I turn off the filter, I can remember how hard those runs were – it just doesn’t feel like it now when I have to walk up yet another hill.  I also find there are times when I’m bored but I think this is related to the constant thought in my brain, “this is hard, this is hard, this is hard”.

Anyway, Sunday was a 5 miler and again not pretty.  But since the above conversation was going on in my head, I started saying, “tomorrow will be easier”.  Monday, I hit the pavement again.  Not exactly easier.  My legs felt lead-like.  I walk/ran 3.5 miles and I dare say, I ran more than I walked.  Hooray.  Using my keen over-analyzing abilities, I recognize dehydration is playing a role in these disappointing runs.  My handheld pulls on my (sort of still) dislocated thumb so I leave it home thinking I’ve been drinking enough during the day to get me through.  I love denial!

I decided to give the RW Run Streak a shot.  My runs will only get better and legs stronger if I add a heaping helping of consistency into the mix.  I have no idea if I will follow through on it – I’ve tried before.  But it’s an interesting challenge and even if I don’t make it everyday, it will still help.  Tonight I will only run a mile and then do a strength video.  I’m going to get swoll.

tuesday tidbits (a day late)

Here are a bunch of random tidbits:

1.  My co-worker bought these for me as he knows my love/obsession for Sharpies.  My heart not only skipped TWO beats but then it began to sing.

my love for sharpies knows no boundaries
my love for sharpies knows no boundaries

2.  I adore the fact that my name has a letter from the first part of the alphabet, the middle and then the end.  I am also crazy about the letter “A” and have many of them in my apt.  One is even part of my tattoo.  Yesterday I took this photo:

A
random “A” found in nature!

3.  Monday I walked to work, walked back for lunch, walked back to work, then to a meeting and then back and then home.  All of this?  Almost 4 miles!  Walking back and forth to work is definitely going to be my new thing as it’s an easy way to get some steps in during the day.  Seriously, I didn’t realize how sedentary I was until I got this activity tracker – it’s kind of scary.  Another bonus, it takes about 8 mins to get to my office from my apt and this is fairly close to what it takes to get in the car, drive to work, park and walk into the office.  And a reduced carbon footprint, yo.

Yesterday I clocked in another 4 miles during the work day with this walking business.  The only downside is I’ve given myself a small case of shin splints because of improper footwear.  I’m trying to remedy this.  Still, another 4 miles!

4.  I had a doc appt yesterday morning at 7:45 am.  I don’t know how you early morning people do it – whether it’s working out or for work.  I struggled since I had to wake up at 6:10 am.  Eww.

5.  I finished LOST on Monday.  I was/still am very attached to these characters.  I’m struggling to let go.

6.  I went to Costco yesterday and was enticed into purchasing 2 lbs of beautiful strawberries.  The problem?  I’m a party of ONE!  What was I thinking?!  I gave away a decent handful today so here’s hoping I can eat the rest of them fast enough.

7.  Someone put a can of Easy Cheese (or a version of it) in the hazardous waste bin in one of my buildings.  I couldn’t stop laughing at the brilliance and accuracy of this!

truth
truth

8.  Donuts.  I love a good donut.  There have been donuts in our office twice this week.  TWICE.  The smell is intoxicating!  It’s not the actual donut that I’m against, it’s the damn gluten.  I know I could have one and it wouldn’t be the end of the world but I see it as a waste of my gluten eating.  For instance in a week, I’m going to have my very favorite pizza ever.  I’m saving my gluten consumption for this.  Not to mention, I don’t want it to become a habit of “oh, it’s just this one thing” and then it turns into more and more.  So, a no to the donut.

9.  This poor model had her leg photo shopped out – seriously fashion peoples, stop with the photo shop/air brushing already!  And for the record – she did have a second leg in her other photos.

cropped legI kept the title “Tuesday tidbits” despite it now being Wednesday because I liked it.  Tonight there are some running miles on the agenda.  I’m revving my motivation now!  10k this weekend!

Do you love your name?

Do office supplies leave you as giddy as they do me?

trying not to suck at running

I was planning to run yesterday evening.  Unfortunately, work took a different turn and running was no longer in the cards.  3 miles were still logged but I needed/wanted a few more.  Now I have to get 23 miles in the next three days in order to hit my 37.5 mile weekly goal.

if only my apt was bigger!

I realize that 37.5 miles seems a bit arbitrary but I have a few reasons to strive for this.

1.  I want to hit 150 miles for the month.

2.  I have a 10k coming up the first weekend of May and I would like to NOT suck.  This is the same race event where I ran my first 1/2 marathon.  They added the 10k in the last couple of years but work has kept me from being able to participate.

3.  I decided to sign up for this really stupid thing.  Wait, it’s not stupid – in fact it’s awesome.  However, I’m not sure if it was smart for ME to sign up.  I signed up for the Run/Walk 2,015 in 2015.

I know.

So, I’m behind.  I mean, this isn’t unusual for any area of my life, much less the running deal.  A few snags include, starting late (they accepted registrations through all of Jan so I only hit 19 miles for the month) and then my silly back injury that kept me sidelined for about 3 or 4 weeks.  Oh yes, there is my natural laziness to factor into the equation.  There are some people who have already reached 900 miles!  What?!  Crazypants!  When you signed up you had the option of ordering the medal to go along with it and I did.  Soooo, I will feel like quite the lame ass if I don’t make it.

It averages out to 5 miles everyday.  My goal of 37.5 miles per week for April won’t be all running miles – it includes some walking ones as well.  I’m counting all of my intentional miles.  Over the last few months, I kept concentrating on moving around as much as possible.  I know this helped.  During my bratty back days, I still tried to score at least a mile a day.  Not much but it was what I could muster.  I’m not going to give up though.  I know there is more running in my future and more miles to add to that total.  Yes, I’m currently an underdog but if anything, I’ve got the “comeback kid” title locked down.

To sum it up, I have to do 7.8 miles today, tomorrow and Sunday to hit my goal.  This feels like a hefty sum so maybe I’ll take it day by day.  Who am I kidding?  I can’t take anything day by day!  Today is a lovely day outside so I’m going after work.  I also walked to and from work today although this didn’t net as many steps as I would’ve thought.  Damn!

Do you have a certain number of miles you want to reach in 2015?

news flash: pancreas holds stomach hostage

Thanks for the advice on my last post!  The oats are still sitting in the fridge… Can’t bear to throw them out but also not sure I can eat them.  I pick super important things to be indecisive about.

Since I’m all about coming up with my own theories (some based on fact, some based on conjecture and most based on nonsense) I decided the reason my stomach has been a giant ass this week is all because of my pancreas.

See, some years back (4?) my gallbladder got angry and had to be taken out of commission.  The surgeon found that when I was hanging out in the womb, some of the cells got confused and grew part of a pancreas on my gallbladder.  Apparently, he had only read about it in books and called in a bunch of docs to check me out.  I never got to see this, bummer, and I have a feeling he probably wrote a paper about me.  I think some royalties are in order!

Anyway, I think my current pancreas is kind of crabby about missing its little twinnie and finally decided to do something about it – take my stomach hostage and abuse it until I give it back its little buddy.  I know, “Amy, it’s been years”.  Yes, but I’m guessing my organs take after me and are procrastinators as well.  Solid theory wouldn’t you say?

Tuesday was pretty bad, I’m not going to lie.  Yesterday, my stomach was still hurting and felt really sore from all of the pain the day before.  In a dept meeting on Wed, I was eating some regular oats and my boss asked me if this was a good idea as he knew of my discomfort.  I told him I just chewed a Pepto pill so we would find out soon enough if I vomited pink oatmeal.  Today I am sort of hanging in there but my stomach still refuses to jump on the “I’m HAPPY!” train.  Pancreas, your mini-you isn’t coming back.  Give it up.

look at it trying to be all innocent – I’m on to you pancreas

Last night I got on the tready for 3 walking miles.  I did a feel a bit better after doing this so I will keep up the activity piece.  Ultimately, I am not sure if it is food related or anxiety.  Last week I built some of my emotions up into a frenzy over some pending life decisions and it really hit this past Monday night.  I *think* my stomach took on some volcanic qualities and shot lava-like acid throughout my gut and on Tuesday my stomach lining cried uncle.

I made the joke yesterday that, “my stomach hates my guts”.  It wasn’t really a joke but I invoke humor to deal with pain.  Coping mechanism of champs.

Yep, another whiny post about my tummy.  Due to the great discomfort, I’m also pretty exhausted.  A bright spot?  Kick ass storm last night!  Man, I love a good thunder and lightning storm!  I didn’t even care it woke me up because it was that good.  Another shiny moment is I’ve rediscovered my love for a scrambled egg on top of a baked potato with a bit of cheese.  Cushy and mild for rioting insides.

somehow there is a connection between this and the mildness of my meals recently… just can’t quite articulate it.

I swear, my next post at most, will only have a paragraph about my stomach!  Also, Gigi over at Gigi Eats Celebrities, had a same-same joke of “my guts hate my guts” that I read about .5 seconds after I made my own joke here at work.  Maybe our complicated GI systems are sharing secrets.

Do you seek out sympathy when you are sick?  Or are you one of the brave souls who suffers in silence?

welcome to funkville

My run tonight sucked.  Pure and simple.  I ran 2.5 miles and then stopped.  I didn’t want to run anymore.  Or maybe I did but didn’t have the energy.  Or the right attitude.  Who knows… I did walk the rest of the way – ended with 5.16 miles so I give myself a small high-five considering I could have turned the corner back to my apt earlier but it was certainly weak “marathon training”.

source

My endorphins forgot to show to the party.  Yeah, I’m in a funk.  Part of it is I’m trying to get back into a routine after vacation.  Part of it is I’m having some man issues – dudes, what is wrong with you?! ;) and the other part of it change is hard!  I’ve gotten better with dealing with change but it still takes me some time to get through it

source

I guess I’ll get over it…  Today and yesterday I spent several hours cleaning out my old office and moving all of my office-y business to my new office.  It’s not unpacked but I am glad it’s almost finished.  I’m ready for this neverendingmoveofthecentury to be over.  Seriously, I’ve spent more days packing/unpacking/moving this month than I haven’t!  The picture of my empty office will have to wait until tomorrow because I had a blogger fail and forgot!

Yesterday, as I was cleaning I knocked off a picture frame from a shelf and I tried to catch it but it hit my wrist instead.

:( it’s one of those scraps that bleeds and bruises

Yeppers, it HURT!  It kind of made me shocky too – not sure if it’s because it’s near my arteries or if it hit just right but even today it’s sore.  Not to mention, I have to head off the curious looks I get with the band-aid over my wrist.  Yes, I’ve had a challenging 6 months but in no way shape or form would that be an answer for me so it’s kind of awkward!

Tomorrow is a new week!  I’m working on confronting my man-issues, starting CrossFit tomorrow and new work duties await me bright and early in the morning.  Let’s hope this fake bravado get’s me through! ;)

source

p.s. don’t worry – I also have my friends wine and chocolate to get me through!