gluten free for meeeee!

I decided to air my Whole30 wrap up on day 30! I have no idea how I made it.  I have a bazillion and one thoughts on the topic so I tried to list the main ones.  Honestly, part of me despises saying this changed my life because it sounds hokey and I kind of wanted to debunk the whole thing.  But the title is fairly self-explanatory – no more gluten for this gal.

1. Cons

a) I’m still bitter with the authors (creators?) of the Whole30’s website.  They have a blurb in there how this isn’t “hard” that “childbirth is hard” along with other things that fall into this type of painful category.  BUT it was hard.  Sugar was one of my coping mechanisms.  Giving that up wasn’t all pina coladas.  So when I admitted to myself it WAS hard I felt kind of guilty about it.  Thankfully, even my friends who have given birth said they thought it would be tough.  So there, Whole30.

b) They also questioned my coffee and “why I need it”.  Because I do.  It brings me joy.  It reminds me of my sister and family.  It reminds me of WA.  It’s a lovely way to start the day.  I did not appreciate my love being questioned.

c) You will wash more dishes than you thought imaginable.

d) I am truly and completely sick of almond milk.  And I hated coconut milk.

e) Getting set up with the gluten free business isn’t cheap.  Oh and I’m one of those folks who now brings their own food to social gatherings.  Awesome.

2.  Worries

a) I know I’ve lost weight.  I’m scared that I will gain it all back.  I’m also nervous it won’t be as much as I was hoping!

b) I was SURE my stomach issues would be cured by the end of these 30 days.  I’m quite delusional and impatient.  Now I wonder if they will ever be fixed.

sing it

c) I am becoming one of those difficult people to feed in social gatherings.  I am going out to dinner twice this week and I looked up the menu both times.  I found options!  I don’t feel as carefree anymore though.

d) I feel like a poser.  I look at my grocery basket will all of the gluten free labels and I wonder if I’m just being silly.  Oh and grocery shopping is harder – NOT having massive amounts of stress would be helpful.  Seriously – did you know there is wheat in cream of mushroom soup?

3. Pros

a) Wahoooo!  I made it! (Okay one day early but no way in hell am going to screw this up!)

b)  I promise, I am not exaggerating when I say, I feel better emotionally and mentally.  My depression is milder, my ADD is better (I can focus!), some of the foggy brain has lifted – as much as possible with my epilepsy meds, I feel more alert and less fatigued on a daily basis.

it probably helps to listen to your body

c)  I haven’t had a headache in a month.

d) Meal planning is pretty nifty – even despite all of the dishes.  Considering the new lifestyle (WEIRD to say) I will continue to cook my little heart out.  I’ve found some really tasty treats that will continue in the rotation and thank goodness for pinterest.  I want to start making my own bread and I can’t wait to eat pancakes again!!

e)  I’m going to really try to keep the whole sugar thing under control  This kinda broke my sugar habit – just not my likeness for the treat!  One of the bigger changes was I used to be unable to get through the afternoon without some kind of chocolate.  I still like something sweet during this time (Auhmaze Balls anyone?!) – maybe a natural sugar.  But don’t worry, I’m not turning on my friends, I’m NOT sugar free!

f)  Ummm – I feel better?  Damn good reason right there.

As mentioned, FODMAP is next.  It is NOT paleo.  If my stomach can handle it, I get some rice!  And dairy!  And corn products – again, if my stomach likes it.  Legumes are the list of possibilities but I’m keeping those at bay for a while.  I’ll post more about it in a bit.  Even if I don’t have celiac I’ve got the good ol’ gluten sensitivity.  All of this is kind of a lot to take in since it’s a freakin’ life change.  There you go… Maybe the Whole30 isn’t for you and certainly no judgements from me!  But if you have any questions let me know!

1.  Whole30 – would you try it?

2.  Thoughts on gluten?



tummy drama

Alright, I need to write about last week… It’s my way of dealing with it and keeping sane.  No problem if you want to skip this post; I would completely understand.

Everyday last week I wanted to crawl into bed and stay there.  Every damn day.  The snow day was beneficial as it allowed me hang out on the couch.  And writhe in pain.  Remember the plan to cook and prep foods for the week?  Yeah, that didn’t happen.  It all started Monday night and then the rest of the week was terrible.

wilson phillips, I’m counting on you to tell the truth

On Wednesday I called “Dr. Ascot’s” (my pet name for him) office in hopes they would have at some kind of advice to help with the bloating, cramping and nausea.  Their suggestions were the following:  eat smaller meals, take gas-x, no veggies… Basically that was it.  Not super helpful – I wanted to cry… not for long though.

But one of the helpful/great aspects of the Whole30 and ditching gluten is my mental state has improved.  For example, back when I hurt my hand again in April and the doc told me there wasn’t much I could do, I got all funky in the emotional realm.  It was yet another thing wrong with me.  Now, even though I’m hard up in the health department, I’m not scraping the bottom of the barrel in regards to depression or apathy.

must embody my inner, very determined Rocky

But I kept hoping everyday would be better.  Why is it worse this week?  I’m certain (well as certain as I can be by learning my diagnostic skills from the internet) it’s the lack of my combo of Nexeum and Zantac.  I think it was keeping me sort of functional.  Now, I’m supposed to depend on my the power of my shit stomach to save the day??  Clearly this is isn’t happening.  I’m afraid to eat.  Most of the time, I can’t even tell if I’m hungry or not and then if I do eat, I always wish I hadn’t.  Sooo, I eat very little… I know this sounds border-line disordered eating and I am trying VERY hard not to get sucked in.

Meanwhile, Dr. Ascot also cut my depression med.  He told me I needed to stop taking it so I assumed that meant right then and there.  It was only on Wednesday that I learned from the doc’s office that I should have weaned myself off of the stuff.  My pharmacy friend was worried so I asked when I called.  Seriously though, how was I supposed to know?  And guess what??  Withdrawal symptoms were/are some nasty business.  I was irritable all week, dizzy at times, had a small seizure and felt all kinds of out of sorts that I couldn’t even describe if I tried.  I thought it should be over by this last weekend but nope – still a loopy goose and a bit unstable on my feet.  I have hopes this will end soon.  When I asked the doc assistance if I should do something different and you know, it was the “too late now” answer.  Keep your fingers crossed for me, will you?  It can’t go on forever.

just the withdrawal talking… I can do this, right?!!

Oh and guess what??  I only have today’s cup of crappy coffee and tomorrow’s and then the introduction of dairy on WEDNESDAY!  Wahoo!

all pain, no glory

This morning was the University’s annual Turkey Trot.  Office mate & I decided to run it.  Actually he was on the fence at first, so I decided to be all impressive & sign up.  He did the same & I was looking forward to it.

That is until this week happened.  Oh & the freezing ice-rain that was falling that legit made this a dangerous course.  I’m not kidding, I walked out to the car & almost fell twice.  My car isn’t even THAT far from the lot either.  I cannot afford to hurt my other hand!  Had my hand physical therapy session this week, more in the near future.

We were there really early & I was chatting it up with one of the race directors.  She was contemplating canceling the race & I was secretly sending her ESP to do just that. I guess our connection wasn’t all that great because we started at 8:30 sharp.

a stupid gif for a stupid idea!

Like the last 5k it starts up a beastly hill-I will forever hate this hill.  Long after I’m gone I will loathe this hill.  Runners completely underestimate it too but determination got me through.  We all kept trudging along & I certainly was placing my steps carefully.  But I was huffing & puffing like an out of shape gazelle trying to escape a cheetah so I was sure I was putting down a decent pace.

Then my stomach started to riot.  This past week my stomach & I have been on the outs.  It’s been bad.  But I ran on the treadmill on Thursday, it wasn’t so terrible so I figured the race would be the same.  Nope.  Nope.  Nope.   I may have hit a mile & half when the stomach rumbles/nausea/cramping started.  I kept telling myself, “fight any and all stomach mishaps!”  A little after 2 miles I was wondering if I could finish-where the damn water stop?!  I finally paused a moment when I was certain vomit was in my near future.

Thankfully, my will of steel(??) kept me running & the water stop was right around the corner.  I’ve done this course before so suddenly I knew I was almost done.  And the sooner I finished the sooner I could be back on my couch nursing the bloat/cramping/nausea.  I hit a good stride & was doing well.  I turned the corner-finish line – SO close!

Karma intervened (naturally): “Amy – I scoff at your pain!  I made sure to change the course right at then end!  You still have a little less than a kilometer to go”.  Well played karma.  I lost my mojo & wanted to quit.  I almost started walking. Thankfully, there was this woman in front of me that we had leap-frogged the entire race.  I just followed her – she doesn’t know it but she was my saving grace.

My time wasn’t pretty.  I was disappointed.  But it was icy & I was afraid of falling.  I slid a few times but stayed upright. I’ve been sick I’ll all week long.  Actually, I’ve been sick (for what seems like) forever & running has been on the back burner.  Several hours later I was impressed I even finished.

a nicholas cage gif?! how have I never used one?!

After the race I ate a banana as I only had a small breakfast cookie two hours earlier.  Let’s just say the banana made my already bloated tummy start to grow even more.  Why?!  I wasn’t even sure I could make it home – I was ready to be embarrassed with puking my guts out… When I got back home I did child pose & another yoga pose; it helped a bit.  Hot lemon water, a shower & a nap helped a little more & I was finally was able eat around 2ish.  Food is currently my enemy.

There is it.  Another 5k in the books.  It is also the last 5k of this year unless something magical happens with my tummy.  Treading on the ‘mill isn’t as bad as I can stop as needed so this will be my running routine.  And maybe even  some yoga as Dr. Ascot prescribed.  Look at me being a good patient!