me = ass

So there were two different posts rattling around in my brain.  I decided to go right ahead with the ol’ karma hates me post.  I think it’s been a couple of weeks since I last wrote one of these.  Seriously, doesn’t it seem like some individuals totally get bypassed by her?  Well, don’t you worry, I’m one of the chosen ones.  If being visited by karma, never feel alone – I’m positive I am right there with you.

I’m sure this is what karma looks like

Now, I should first admit a couple of things.  I’m an ass.  Not all of the time, but this week I was.  I didn’t even really mean to be said ass but it happened.  I made some pretty decent mistakes & instead of karma allowing me to slink off into a corner to lick my wounds I got an audience.

no wait! I want to be put in a corner!

Me = Ass:  One major work error where all of my higher up bosses got to be privy to my mistake. One personal mistake, which while may not have the biggest audience, makes me feel worse than the work one did.  And then there were the smaller work & personal ass-ish things that came into play off and on all week.  So, I’m not saying that I don’t deserve karma’s attention but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish she would lose my digits.  Pretty please?!
While I was all retail-therapying it up in Target yesterday (you see, I already hit Yankee Candle and Old Navy online earlier in the week), I realized I have to learn to simply brush the shit away.  It’s true.  I promise you, I’m going to think about how I messed up – how I misread ppl & how I could’ve/should’ve done just a few minor things differently & this whole week would have been different.  Even though what’s ailing me at the moment isn’t actual shit (they are important things), I can’t change what happened.  My proclivity toward rehashing my mistakes & rehashing & then rehashing them again, sure isn’t changing the situations.  Those are said and done.  I’m great at accepting responsibility mind you, rather I need to work on the whole concept of damage control (not target) & then moving on.  I don’t have much confidence in my ability to do this at this moment…

I will admit, I made a rookie mistake & went against my cardinal rule of “never say it can’t get any worse”.  Last week I lamented about what a doozy of a week it was and while I don’t think I actually said it I sure as hell implied it.  The universe spoke up with a rousing rendition of “OH YEAH?!”  A challenging week has ensued & my only hope for the rest of these days are some personal victories – ones that have eluded me so far: only drinking one coffee per day, not scavenging for chocolate in the mid-afternoon when I’m clutching at my sanity for dear life, crossing all of my I’s & T’s (um-apparently i’s need crossing now), not oversleeping & not letting the !#*%^ tears fall.  Or maybe if I accomplished even a couple of these it could at least be considered a draw.
It’s not really a weekend in my working world but I hope for those of you who are weekending, that it’s a good one – maybe a nap?  Maybe some holiday shopping?  Maybe hanging out with friends and family?  I will leave you with a song that I am currently OBSESSED with despite the strange video.  It kind of fits my mood right now.

Later alleges toe (<— I tried to write later alligators and this came up instead.  I like it)

all pain, no glory

This morning was the University’s annual Turkey Trot.  Office mate & I decided to run it.  Actually he was on the fence at first, so I decided to be all impressive & sign up.  He did the same & I was looking forward to it.

That is until this week happened.  Oh & the freezing ice-rain that was falling that legit made this a dangerous course.  I’m not kidding, I walked out to the car & almost fell twice.  My car isn’t even THAT far from the lot either.  I cannot afford to hurt my other hand!  Had my hand physical therapy session this week, more in the near future.

We were there really early & I was chatting it up with one of the race directors.  She was contemplating canceling the race & I was secretly sending her ESP to do just that. I guess our connection wasn’t all that great because we started at 8:30 sharp.

a stupid gif for a stupid idea!

Like the last 5k it starts up a beastly hill-I will forever hate this hill.  Long after I’m gone I will loathe this hill.  Runners completely underestimate it too but determination got me through.  We all kept trudging along & I certainly was placing my steps carefully.  But I was huffing & puffing like an out of shape gazelle trying to escape a cheetah so I was sure I was putting down a decent pace.

Then my stomach started to riot.  This past week my stomach & I have been on the outs.  It’s been bad.  But I ran on the treadmill on Thursday, it wasn’t so terrible so I figured the race would be the same.  Nope.  Nope.  Nope.   I may have hit a mile & half when the stomach rumbles/nausea/cramping started.  I kept telling myself, “fight any and all stomach mishaps!”  A little after 2 miles I was wondering if I could finish-where the damn water stop?!  I finally paused a moment when I was certain vomit was in my near future.

Thankfully, my will of steel(??) kept me running & the water stop was right around the corner.  I’ve done this course before so suddenly I knew I was almost done.  And the sooner I finished the sooner I could be back on my couch nursing the bloat/cramping/nausea.  I hit a good stride & was doing well.  I turned the corner-finish line – SO close!

Karma intervened (naturally): “Amy – I scoff at your pain!  I made sure to change the course right at then end!  You still have a little less than a kilometer to go”.  Well played karma.  I lost my mojo & wanted to quit.  I almost started walking. Thankfully, there was this woman in front of me that we had leap-frogged the entire race.  I just followed her – she doesn’t know it but she was my saving grace.

My time wasn’t pretty.  I was disappointed.  But it was icy & I was afraid of falling.  I slid a few times but stayed upright. I’ve been sick I’ll all week long.  Actually, I’ve been sick (for what seems like) forever & running has been on the back burner.  Several hours later I was impressed I even finished.

a nicholas cage gif?! how have I never used one?!

After the race I ate a banana as I only had a small breakfast cookie two hours earlier.  Let’s just say the banana made my already bloated tummy start to grow even more.  Why?!  I wasn’t even sure I could make it home – I was ready to be embarrassed with puking my guts out… When I got back home I did child pose & another yoga pose; it helped a bit.  Hot lemon water, a shower & a nap helped a little more & I was finally was able eat around 2ish.  Food is currently my enemy.

There is it.  Another 5k in the books.  It is also the last 5k of this year unless something magical happens with my tummy.  Treading on the ‘mill isn’t as bad as I can stop as needed so this will be my running routine.  And maybe even  some yoga as Dr. Ascot prescribed.  Look at me being a good patient!